Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
Our boss and check writer, Josh Tyler, is headed out to South by Southwest. Actually, he’s already there, despite a big, scary, dangerous ice storm. He will be filing stories and reviews if he sees anything interesting. If he doesn’t, hopefully he’ll make something up like this woman did.
SATURDAY
We turn on our heroes.
Cute girl doesn’t go to hell after all.
As I noted in previous news:blended’s here and here, Will Ferrell is trying to get by more on clothing and hairstyle in his movies than actual funny lines or situations. I was starting to think I was the only one who noticed. Boy, was I wrong. Stuart Wood noticed and was much harsher on Ferrell than I have been. I like Ferrell, a lot, but his movie output is getting ridiculous. Juno’s Ellen Page has decreased her movie output by one. She was originally supposed to be in the Sam Raimi horror film, Drag Me Down to Hell. Now she’s not in it and will, presumably, not be dragged down to the fiery pit. I’m glad for that, since she’s pretty cute.
SUNDAY
The only people working on the Sabbath.
We were so lazy on Sunday that we didn’t write one movie news item. I think I had some grass clippings to mulch or something, I’m not sure what the other writers were doing. That gave you the opportunity to enjoy the hell out of the Weekly Blend podcast. Hopefully you did just that thing.
MONDAY
Stop wasting my time, you know what I want, you know what I need, or maybe you don’t….
Is David Warner even still alive?
The Canadian government giveth and the Canadian government taketh-away. The government will no longer give tax breaks to “inappropriate” movies. I guess the alternative is to run your business without tax breaks like, you know, most people. Disney’s level of tax breaks, whatever they might be, probably won’t impact Tron 2, which might get made in the next three years or so. I never much liked Tron, but I’m sure with the new technology available, Disney will be able to do some fun stuff with a sequel.
TUESDAY
She’s got an Oscar and you don’t, homeskillet.
We who are about to die…salute you.
The backlash against Diablo Cody and Juno isn’t exactly surprising, but will hopefully run its course soon. Maybe it’s almost time for the frontlash that often results from the backlash. Either way, Cody got hammered on Oscar night and took home an award. Not bad. Chris Hauty will probably not win an Oscar for his Never Back Down script, but he did get the idea from something that happened at his son’s high school. A high school that also happens to count me as a graduate. Wow, talk about the coincidences in life. Actually, that’s really not that much of a coincidence, but the movie looks lousy and I was trying to find a hook.
Dragonball is like baseball, only with dragons.
They kill Snoopy in the first three seconds.
Whenever we do a Dragonball news item, we seem to get comments. I’m not sure why. Maybe it is because Josh shows more disdain for this movie than he does for ritual genocide in Darfur. Either way, the movie’s opening has been delayed to from this Summer to next Spring. Get your Dragon Balls ready. Also get your leather helmet and goggles ready. A German financed movie about the Red Baron called The Red Baron (clever, no?) has some pretty cool special effects flying scenes. The rest of the movie might be total shit, but those flying scenes are aces. .
THURSDAY
Watchmen will not be naked.
The first pictures of actors in costumes doesn’t generate the same excitement in me that it does in some. A few people got pretty excited at Watchmen cast members in their superhero togs, but I was not one of them. I want to see the movie and I hope it’s great, but I’ll wait for the actual thing to get jazzed. I’m not jazzed about Patrick Swayze dying of cancer. We put out a poll on what people think of Swayze and, naturally, very few people wanted to kick a dying man. He is considered, according to the American public, a cultural icon. Patrick Swayze. If you say so.
FRIDAY
Floating heads blow our minds.
The Hulk is a superhero, too.
Are you as excited about Iron Man as this website? If not, you don’t read our news, previews, or message board. Everyone here is totally up for a Robert Downey Jr. superhero movie. We are even psyched about the poster. Actually, I’m not that psyched about the poster, but let’s not quibble. I’m also not psyched about the non-sequel Hulk sequel starring Edward Norton. It will probably be better than the Ang Lee version (how could it not be?) Don’t try to get me excited about it, though. It ain’t gonna happen. Yet.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
