Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
One of our readers, after reading a news items I wrote, bemoaned the fact that no one graduate’s from journalism school anymore. That’s false, of course, lots of people graduate from journalism school, but she meant it as a rhetorical question because it bothered her that I didn’t fully explain Asian financing for a……. Sorry, I nodded off just thinking of that subject, but I’m awake now. There was a good reason that I did not graduate from journalism school; I’m not a journalist. So, if you are under the mistaken impression that what I do is journalism, let me join our fair reader and point out that it’s not even close. Get your Asian movie financing stories elsewhere.
SATURDAY
I’m sort of a chilled out entertainer.
Your movie ticket comes with comp and collision coverage.
I was the only one not-hungover and able to write on Saturday, so I churned out most of our items. One was about how Jason Bateman and some other actors joined the new Ricky Gervais movie. I can’t wait to see this movie. I wish it were opening today. Yes, even against Stop-Loss, which looks like a barrel of laughs itself. I’m more excited about seeing Ricky Gervais’ movie than about the one that will star Leonardo DiCaprio and was written by an insurance salesman. I’m sure the insurance salesman’s script is good, but it just doesn’t have the same zip as a movie about the origin of lying.
SUNDAY
Run Scotty, Run.
The title of this article is kind of a joke.
Simon Pegg is going to be playing the first Mr. Scott not wearing a girdle on the Enterprise in many a moon. He may be playing the part for many a moon to come, as well. If there be sequels in our Trekkie future, Simon’s hot fuzz will be a part of them. Gary Oldman’s character in the Harry Potter movie will not be part of future movies, since his character is dead. That sort of killed my Potter Break/Potty Break play on words on Sunday. Damn J.K. Rowlings plot for getting in the way of a perfectly decent headline.
MONDAY
Run Jared, Run
Birth of a creep.
In Hollywood, a good looking guy gaining weight for a role is considered arty and daring. In real life, a good looking guy gaining weight is considered disgusting and pathetic. Jared Leto tries to be disgusting while also killing John Lennon. Kevin Spacey isn’t killing one of the Beatles on film, but he has played some pretty bad dudes in his day. One of his first was in Working Girl where he played a real sleezeball. Party on Wayne, Party on Bob.
TUESDAY
If he had a boat, he’d go out on the ocean.
Sadly, another Mummy movie is almost done.
Every album Lyle Lovett has ever released is better than 98% of your CD collection. He also acts, although not as well as he sings and writes a catchy tune. He’s going to be in a movie with Justin Timberlake, who hasn’t ever released an album that is in Lyle’s league. Unlike Justin and Lyle’s next movie, The Mummy 3 is almost done. That’s bad news for those of us who hate crappy movies. If you, on the other hand, like crappy movies, you’re in luck.
It’s worth it, if you also get $25 cash back.
G.I. Joe movie facts in one easy place.
There is a new theater chain that wants you to pay $35 to watch a movie. You get a nice seat, though. A real nice seat. Of course, the only way I will ever pay $35 to watch a movie is, well, I don’t know how to finish that sentence. The seats at my local multi-plex are fine and I’d rather keep the $25 or so extra in my pocket. If you are going to watch a $35 movie, it probably won’t be G.I. Joe. That movie sounds like a $6 movie to me, maybe even $5.75. There are lots of details out there about the toy turned movie and we summarize it all for your eager eyes. .
THURSDAY
Tobey Maguire still likes comics.
Chris Carter is not trying to be annoying with all the fake X-Files movie info floating around the net. He just doesn’t know that much. He doesn’t know the title and he can’t say much about the plot. Poor guy. If even isn’t up to speed on what’s going on, what hope does a fan have? Hopefully Tobey Maguire will know more about the comic book movie he’s producing. No, it’s not THAT movie which is up to part 4. It’s a new movie about a guy with a do-rag who finds treasure in a post environmental disaster zone. Or something.
FRIDAY
Paramount is worried that you will be interested in seeing their movie.
Tom Hanks won’t burn your books.
Taking a page from the X-Files publicity book, Star Trek doesn’t want you knowing too much about their movie. They’ve been running around taking down pictures of costumes and sets from the websites that found them and put them up. Phew, that was close, someone might have wanted to see the movie based on that, and who wants those people ruining the experience? Tom Hanks has ruined the experience of anyone who wanted to see him in Fahrenheit 451. He’s not going to be in it, anymore. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I like Tom Hanks, but I can’t think of a movie of his that I’ve wanted to see in the last few years. Can you?
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
