Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
news:blended is the Jessica Biel to other movie sites' Lindsay Lohan. While others might promise the world and come up woefully short, we're guaranteed to put on a show and deliver the goods you came to see... and not because they accidentally popped out while staggering to a car drunk...
SATURDAY
C. Thomas Howell – The Career That Time Forgot
Simon Pegged on to another franchise
If you're less than 30 years old you will have no idea who C. Thomas Howell is. If you're more than 30 years old you will have forgotten who C. Thomas Howell is, so relegated to the pantheon of awful DTV rubbish is he. I expect his remake of The Land That Time Forgot to be much the same. Needs More McClure.
I have to admit I like the Ice Age movies probably more than they deserve but I suspect I'm not the only one. That Brit of the Moment Simon has signed on makes no difference to me, but it's always nice to see a homie in work.
SUNDAY
O. no. More angry director clips ahoy
Kate Hudson could play his feisty opposition
I saw Three Kings years ago but remember little about it. Far more entertaining than any of David O. Russell's movies are the outtake clips of him having aneurysm inducing childish meltdowns at cast and crew. Look it up on YouTube. However, I'd like to see him stand toe-to-toe against James Cameron on a bad day.
Matthew McConaughey. King of shitty romantic comedies, is obviously tired of being ragged on for being the king of shitty romantic comedies so is branching out to play a lawyer. Again. This story and the man bore me and I hope you share my apathy so lets move on.
MONDAY
Karate Kid remake, yes. Karate Kid remake, no. Karate Kid remake, guess so. Squish! Just like grape!
Cleave/age your way in to Hollywood
So you have none of the original cast, very few ties to the original plot save character names and martial arts and now you don't even have the brand recognition title. Kung Fu Kid is setting itself up for a well deserved failure.
Gemma Arterton. If you don't know who she is here is a handy cross-Atlantic reference: It's Keira Knightley if she had boobs. She may be a talented actress but I think it's her genetics more than her acting that got her the role as a goddess in the upcoming Clash Of The Titans remake.
TUESDAY
Drag me to this movie!
Star Trek features freaky Kermit-fantasy sex?
Sam Raimi was painfully diplomatic in this month's Empire about how studio meddling messed up Spider-Man 3, so it's good to see him oozing confidence with his new horror flick. The poster is a little Evil Dead-ish, but then what would you expect.
Knowing the boss is the board's biggest Star Trek nut, when I first read this story I thought Josh had accidentally posted a very personal private picture in his story. Thankfully for all involved it's a still from the actual Star Trek movie, not his Star Trek home movie.
Oscar winner taking on next X-Men Smallville movie
Great cast, how about the story?
I always got the impression from little niggling things that Fox doesn't have much confidence in Wolverine. However, that hasn't stopped them hiring an Oscar-winning writer of the moment to pen a sequel. Of course I'm sure by the time the Fox execs get their hands on it, about the only thing that will resemble the original script is the title.
As much as I respect Ridley Scott the man has gone off the rails of late, making a bunch of movies that, while visually stunning as always, don't always hit the mark story wise. So despite an ever more prestigious cast, I can't help still wishing for the more interesting sounding original pitch of Robin Hood.
THURSDAY
Pirates of the Tentpole Movie: Dead Man's Quest
Sho'ly no need for this sequel
I would never call foul play on this story personally, but a friend of mine raised concerns with me that some studios may see intentional piracy thing as an easy out for a big movie they think will critically or financially tank and also score a hit for bringing in tougher MPAA punishments for downloaders at the same time. It was food for thought, but there are many other plausible and viable ways this leak may have come about.
Doggedly determined CB gambler Katey Rich was at ShoWest had the unfortunate task of letting everyone know that Sony is planning a third Men In Black movie. She swears it wasn't an April Fools. I am still clinging to fading hope that it was.
FRIDAY
Apparently Rupert Murdoch is feeling the pinch if the recession
You've failed me again Bay
Who makes 3D movies? Who insists theatres upgrade to 3D movies? Who pays extra to watch 3D movies? So who should pay for the 3D glasses required to WATCH 3D movies. Apparently theatre owners should according to Fox. Which means theatre-goers will end up footing even higher ticket costs to help the ailing overheads of already pittance making cinemas. Stay Classy Newscorp!
Michael Bay is an ass. He can make shiny movies which look cool and bring excitement, but as a person he comes across as a bit of a jackass. So when he says Megatron isn't in the movie, then says he is, then releases an official Autobot & Decepticon call-sheet without the big bad guy's name on it who's to know what to believe. Will the second baddest Transformer pop up for another ten minute cameo at the end?
That’s all for another, hopefully more carefully vetted news:blended, taking all the week's deep, insightful, carefully written, well researched news by our immensely talented team and distilling in to the equivalent of a social-networking status update. If you like what you read, leave a comment below, or get in touch. If you don't, well I guess Fox News is much more up your alley.
