Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
We had an interesting week. Somehow we put together a list of top Stoner Movies that didn’t include Cheech, Chong, or Jeff Spicoli. We don’t know our Stoners so well. We do know superheroes, since this is an Internet movie site filled with fanboys, so you get a big dose of that.
SATURDAY
JLA is DOA.
I wonder as I wander, out under the sky.
Saturday was all about Joel Silver killing off and resurrecting superhero movies. While out on the road trying to take the place of those crazy Wachowski Brothers in a press junket, he said JLA was being tabled. It’s dead, for now at least. So I guess that means the wheelchair guy from Friday Night Lights won’t be Superman. Silver did say that Wonder Woman is moving ahead. They may even have a shooting script some year.
SUNDAY
Meh.
Dolph Lundgren fan club, activate!
Is anyone else as blasé about the new Indiana Jones movie as I am? I mean, I’ll see it, but I have no sense of excited anticipation. Is it because Harrison Ford looks every one of his 94 years? I don’t know, but some new pictures are not increasing my excitement. Neither is the news that there could be a new Universal Soldier movie in the works. Van Damme? Lundgren? Have a guest appearance by Steven Segal and this could have the three worst actors of all time.
MONDAY
Does a sequel ever “make sense.”
He was turned to steel, in the great magnetic field
Speed Racer actually looks pretty good. Who knows; it might not suck like The Matrix. That said, producer Joel Silver says a sequel will be considered if it makes sense or will make Joel Silver even more money. We get no money from being the biggest Iron Man pimps on the Net. If we did, I could afford tickets to go to Coachella this weekend and see Prince and Roger Waters.
TUESDAY
In a big change, Disney considers a sequel for one of its popular moneymaking movies.
The big summer movies are right around the corner. That means The Dark Knight will be here soon. Plus some other movies. If you want to know which other movies, exactly, then Josh has laid them all out for you with a reason you should care. I wouldn’t say it worked on 60% of the movies, but we tried. Disney is also trying to get a sequel to Enchanted off the ground. That’s because Disney sequels are always really good and quality entertainment. Oh wait, no they aren’t.
The fish are circling the barrel, our shotgun is ready.
If you round the pennies off, you can get rich!
Our Bad Fandom series continues and we take on the godfathers of annoying fans, Star Wars Nerds. When you consider a six movie series has one great movie, two good movies, and three truly lousy movies, you wonder why people even have enough interest to be pissed at George Lucas’ lousy writing and directing ability. Of course, even none of Lucas’ movies are as bad as Superman III. The concept that in the next Superman movie he will be an angry god has some of us shuddering at the thought of Richard Pryor in a Ferrari. .
THURSDAY
This time we are totally serious.
We’ve probably had more stories about Guillermo Del Toro directing, not directing, maybe directing, and maybe not directing The Hobbit, than we’ve had of any other single story. Or non-story. Until now, that is. He’s really going to direct The Hobbit this time, we promise. Pinky swear. The Hobbit will probably be a good movie, unlike most of the movies in our latest CB Top 5, Stoner Movies. If these are the Top 5 out there, then Stoner Movies is the worst genre out there.
FRIDAY
We get the scoop on fancy lemons.
Imagine there’s no Ben Stein.
Katey Rich is our man on the scene at Tribeca. The only problem is that she’s not a man. At least, I don’t think she is. The point is she has access to big time stars like William H. Macy and asks all sorts of questions, some about movies. Ben Stein forgot to ask Yoko Ono a question. “Can I use one of the songs you control in your iron fist you money grubbing dragon lady?” Instead, he just used it and it may sink his movie, Expelled. Probably not, though.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
