Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
It's Easter weekend at blend towers... and well... everywhere else too. If you're in to God and Jebus you get to celebrate how he was brutally tortured and put to death just because you, yes you, got drunk and grabbed your neighbor's hot wife's ass at a party. If you're one of those dirty athiests you're probably just enjoying all the chocolately egg goodness...
SATURDAY
Foxed By Piracy
There was only room for one story on Saturday and that was Josh's big rant on the Wolverine piracy issue. Josh wrote a civil yet scathing dissection of the huge hypocrisy surrounding the fact that someone in Fox would not only download and review a leaked Fox movie, but also condone piracy as a method of watching movies in the process and still be allowed to keep their job. All through this I can't help escape the irony of Keith Olbermann's imitation of Rupert Murdoch's speech pattern onn his show being that of a pirate, arrrr.
SUNDAY
Bale plays another very different vigilante
He's not just a foul-mouthed Kevin Smith prop
Christian Bale playing Bear Grylls if he was a God-lovin' vigilante on a mission and Mark Wahlberg as the cop trying to do things by the book? I think I just successfully recreated the single sentence sales pitch that got this movie greenlit with no director attached.
Jason Mewes is trying to branch out from being Kevin Smith's sympathy casting and making a name for himself. Despite it's derivative-sounding plot, that doesn't mean there isn't some potential beyond a movie where Eddie Murphy alternates between mugging about and wearing a fat suit. Why do you forsake us so, Ed?
MONDAY
Fox's HR department runs the Japanese feudal system. Failures get to fall on their own sword.
Wait... she's not a porn star?
Are you around 30+? Do you remember The Fall Guy? That old show with Lee Majors? Well that's what sprung to mind when the ongoing Fox debacle hit it's zenith on Monday. Was he fired or wasn't he was the big question? And nobody seemed to be able to make up their mind. Then in possibly the biggest cop-out in history, they announced they had parted by mutual agreement. Being allowed to jump instead of being pushed? Not cool guys.
Christina Ricci has made quite a career for herself playing messed up characters, so it's bizarre that she might sign up as the innocent part in a movie about someone trying to break in to porn. This story also demands a shout out to Bethany on the Forums for a stunning smackdown on the idea that women shouldn't dig porn. Go check it out.
TUESDAY
Trek will create a stirring in the pants of even the die-hard anti-nerd
Dammit Jim, I'm a LOTR star, not a doctor!
If you are in any way allergic to nerdy things, or god forbid “Sci-Fi” turn away now because both stories here are Star Trek related. First off, CB scored a huge coup when it turned out one of Head Honcho Josh Tyler's contacts had gotten in to the first official screening of Star Trek at the Alamo Drafthouse. His report, as well as the others that sprang up on other sites, all point to a stunning Trek movie that blows away that dirty feeling left by the last few movies.
In other ultra-nerdy Trek news, we posted a video clip of Karl Urban in what can only be described as a just plain creepily accurate interpretation of Leonard McCoy as he would have been as a younger man.
The change is complete, Bond becomes Bourne
Arnold to stick around Terminator franchise
If you ever had any doubt that the rejuvinated Bond franchise was trying to cash in on Bourne, surely the final nail in the coffin after nicking the filming style and the stunt co-ordinator is the rumor that Bourne scribe Tony Gilroy is tipped to direct the next movie. Thanks for nothing everyone who convinced themselves Quantum of Solace was somehow good.
OK, it's final. Oh wait, no it's not, but it might be. The “is he or isn't he” over whether Ahnuld would cameo in Terminator Salvation was answered by the person with the obvious final word; a cast member who doesn't even have a name credit on IMDb for the role.
THURSDAY
Hey, you guys!! Non-Goonies non-sequel to Goonies
Clash of the Acting Titans
Goonies 2 is one of those urban myths that either needs cranked out to get it out everyone's system or put off entirely by some cosmic event. In the mean time, another group of film-makers is going to make the sequel anyway but call it something else.
For a remake of a none-more-cheesy sword, sandals and Harryhausen epic, this project is attracting an ever more “serious” cast list. Maybe it won't suck after all.
FRIDAY
I don't care what Josh says, Tron is cult
Nanny McPhee 2 The Streets
I am a devout Tronnie, Tronner, Tronophile, Tronter... hmmm, maybe I should just stick to “fan”. So while I want great things from the movie it's a little hard to swallow that they'd be willing to pony up Avatar levels of cash for a movie to a cult (it flopped yet has a loyal belated fanbase through word of mouth – CULT) classic helmed by a first-timer.
Nobody saw Nanny McPhee except Emma Thompson's kids. So why anyone would want a sequel to her Mary Poppins with warts movie is anyone's guess. Maggie Gyllenhaal is obviously stuck for work after The Dark Knight to be relegated to this.
That’s all for another, hopefully more carefully vetted news:blended, taking all the week's deep, insightful, carefully written, well researched news by our immensely talented team and distilling in to the equivalent of a social-networking status update. If you like what you read, leave a comment below, or get in touch. If you don't, well it's probably because it's my birthday tommorow and I've been busy with other things.
