Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
After weeks of pretty much every other story we wrote being about Spider-Man 3 we celebrated the release of the actual film by going almost silent on the whole thing. We did cover the box office shellacking the movie gave the so-called competition, but that was about it. So get ready to read about some other movie-type stuff.
SATURDAY
Woman at Tribeca prove they are funny.
Lexi watches movie about demon sheep.
We spared no expense sending a big crew to cover the Tribeca Film Festival. Well, we sent Lexi and Brendan, but how many people did YOU send? That’s what I thought. Lexi attended a panel about women and comedy that featured funny women saying funny things. She also watched some movies and tells us what she thinks of them in case they show up in your DVD player one day and you aren’t sure if you should push play. That guy who wears the red baseball cap backwards and raps over lame metal riffs directed one of the movies. Lexi says it’s not as bad as I might have expected.
SUNDAY
Spider-Man 3 does what everyone knew it would.
No one was happier than Scott Gwin to see Spider-Man 3 rule the box office roost. After three weeks of Disturbia on top, the Marvel hero trounced not only the meager competition but the opening week receipts record. The other new entry Lucky You battled both the web slinger and atrocious reviews to finish an anemic sixth. Some new movies, including the sequel 28 Weeks Later, slug it out for distant second place next week.
MONDAY
Harry Potter goes MILF route.
Coen brothers get that actor who had a movie named after him.
Although Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix hasn’t yet hit the megaplexes, casting rumors for the sixth movie, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, have started to heat up. Naomi Watts, who has had love scenes with both women (Mulholland Drive) and monkeys (King Kong) may join the cast as Narcissa Malfoy. The Coen brothers have not had Harry Potter-ish success with their last few films, but they still pull together a pretty good cast themselves. Burn After Reading will star John Malkovich and Frances McDormand and include bit players like George Clooney and Brad Pitt.
TUESDAY
Pitt as He-Man? Skelator licks chops.
Dr. Evil could spend more time annoying us.
In some news from the not-bloody-likely file, Brad Pitt is being put forth as a possible lead in a He-Man movie put together by the team that made Superman Returns. No one seems to think this is a good idea or even a legitimate rumor but that hasn’t stopped a few people from commenting on the pros and cons. Mike Myers is staying out of the Pitt as He-Man debate, but he does say that a possible fourth Austin Powers movie would focus more on the bald headed bad guy, Dr. Evil. This is one of those franchises that should have stopped at the first movie and I can’t imagine how many kinds of lame a Dr. Evil series would be. But there is money to be made and Myers clearly wants some it.
Van Damme can be replaced, surprising but true.
Josh Tyler ranted this week about heavy-handed studio reactions to movie websites and blogs. It seems Paramount had a website shout down because they posted pictures the website owned that Paramount’s legal department thought were copyrighted. Josh knows that this is exactly what happened in Communist Russia in 1917 and in Germany in 1939. Well, it’s not exactly what happened, but I’m too lazy to come up with an original analogy. In less fascist-leaning news, Jessica Biel is being bandied about as the front runner to play Chun Li in a continuation of the Street Fighter franchise. The fact that Jessica Biel isn’t Chinese doesn’t seem to bother anyone involved, but it has a few people who read this site scratching their heads. .
THURSDAY
Another name mentioned to direct Hobbit.
MPAA forgets to carry the seven.
On Thursday we turned a (probably not true) rumor that Peter Weir might direct The Hobbit into a cheerleading article for Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, the Weir flick with Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany. Weir would be a good candidate for The Hobbitt, but he only seems to handle about one movie every five years which means he’s already booked through 2014.
The MPAA really angried up our blood this week. First we caught them in a serious math error about how much Canada and New York can be blamed for movie piracy. When someone tells you it is impossible for a person to give 110%, you just have an MPAA accountant give them a call. Then they talked about using the amount of smoking as a factor in rating a film (see article link on Friday.) This led to a Josh Tyler rant about what the MPAA should and should not be sticking their noses into.
FRIDAY
MPAA is doing this just to annoy us.
Superman Returns is finally validated.
Further proof that the award season never ends was our story about the films that won Saturn Awards, given out by The Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror. Superman Returns was the big winner but they stretched the award criteria to give Ben Affleck an acting nod for Hollywoodland. The full list of nominees gives all us nerds who enjoy stuff like ‘Heroes’ and The Prestige a little validation. Still, X-Men 3 was nominated, which doesn’t do their credibility any favors.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
