Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
Man, did we ever rant this week. Smoking in movies, illegal piracy, even Molly Shannon took it on the chops. Molly Shannon? That’s right; we take no prisoners on the Shannon issue. Beware.
SATURDAY
You might now see good movies you otherwise would not.
Saturday is often a slow news day as the staff meets on our rooftop terrace and cuts up the profits from the previous week. I usually get all the nickels. But Mack Rawden was around last Saturday to report on a service by the Independent Film Channel to release smaller movies simultaneously on pay-per-view and in the theater. This might get people to watch more movies that are actually, you know, good.
SUNDAY
Smoking in movies is worse than Hitler.
Pirating movies is worse than Hitler.
It was MPAA Day around CinemaBlend on Sunday. We (or to be more accurate, Mack) got up in arms about some things he doesn’t want the MPAA telling us not to do. Both smoking in movies and movie piracy are under assault and we’re slightly pissed about it. We think people should have the freedom to smoke and steal if they want.
MONDAY
Disney stops the madness.
Bad movie makes more than it deserves.
There is nothing obsessive Disney fans love to piss and moan about more than direct-to-DVD sequels. The pissing and/or moaning appears to be over as the boys from Pixar have taken over Disney animation with a vengeance and put a stop to all this nonsense of releasing things that make money for the company. No Sleeping Beauty VI: Beauty is Older Than Dirt will be popping up in our future. Unfortunately, Evan Almighty did pop up in our present. Despite my fondest desires, it seems to suck even more than one can reasonably expect from a Tom Shadyac movie. It did make tons of money, though, as fans of “The Office” swelled the ranks of people who think animals are cute. Knocked Up passed the $100 million mark, so it was a good week overall.
TUESDAY
Where is Ratzenberger in Ratatouille?
Josh and Molly sitting in a tree….
I saw Ratatouille on Thursday and it follows the trend of Cars in being great for most animated movies and good for a Pixar film. I wouldn’t have spotted John Ratzenberger’s voice without Rafe’s clue on Tuesday. Also, make sure you arrive early enough to see “Lifted,” the animated short that precedes the movie. It’s a winner. Not so much a winner in the eyes of Josh is actress Molly Shannon. Josh thinks she is in too many movies and not very good in any of them. I think Josh has got himself a secret crush.
Of all the action movies ever; these are five of them.
Huh?
Our CB Top 5 is marching on this summer. We’ve weighed in on the best computer animated movies, Johnny Depp movies, superhero movies and now the Top 5 action movies. Considering we are running it the week of Live Free or Die Hard’s release, our number one choice shouldn’t be that big a surprise. I’m still reeling from the lack of any Raiders of the Lost Ark love. It has got a giant freakin’ boulder, people. Sure to miss any Top 5 list in the future is the reported follow-up to the not so great Thomas Crown Affair. Pierce Brosnan, who played a rich man stealing a painting in the original, may steal jewels with Angela Jolie in the sequel. Or maybe Brosnan won’t just go for a paycheck and will leave this in the garbage can where it belongs.
THURSDAY
A possible real deleted scene from Knocked Up.
If you steal movies, you can’t be my friend.
The internet has long been a place to see things you might not otherwise see in your life. Like you might never see deleted scenes from Knocked Up while the movie is still in the theaters. Some of them have been fake, but hilarious; this one seems real, but hilarious. The key is the hilarity. Not so hilarious is that some websites are getting busted for telling people where to find pirated movies but not actually having pirated content themselves. Josh thinks this is a word that rhymes with pullchit.
FRIDAY
Dear god will this never end?
Dear allah, will THIS never end?
We just can’t get enough of a good thing. Unfortunately, we also can’t get enough of a lousy thing. In that line, we will probably get another Fantastic Four sequel. A new villain needs to be found and probably someone needs to write a bad script, but all of the elements are coming together. Perhaps the foursome could fire bomb the pool where Disney is filming the movie Pool Rats. It’s another in a long line of movies that aren’t sequels but share a common plot (coach takes over team of misfits.) We’re sick of this shit, ok?
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
