Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
I just saw Borat. Just this week, on DVD. So, I’m clearly not on the cutting edge of movie-type stuff. But our CinemaBlend writers are out there daily trying to bring you the freshest news available and a healthy sampling is listed below.
SATURDAY
Steve Carell’s next movie might suck.
Brett Ratner’s next movie will definitely suck.
Steve Carell can’t live off “The Office” and The 40 Year-Old Virgin forever. Hollywood is a harsh bitch-mistress and demands ever increasing success. The bomb that is Evan Almighty will hang about his neck unless his next movie Dan in Real Life is a huge hit. Let’s hope so. I’m less interested in rooting for the next potential Brett Ratner movie. Even if it is a black Ocean’s 11 with Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy, I hope it bombs like the Japanese on December 7th. And that’s a lotta bombing, I’ve heard.
SUNDAY
New Line thinks this Jackson fellow might be a good director.
For god sakes people, show some self respect.
New Line may be pulling their heads out of their collective rears and considering bringing Peter Jackson back to do The Hobbit. We all know they are pissed at each other because the billions that Lord of the Rings made wasn’t enough to make everyone rich enough. Hopefully this will come to pass because it’s really the only thing that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense, of course, is that so many people went to see Rush Hour 3 this last weekend. Come on now, folks, there are so many better things to do with your money. Like flush it down the toilet.
MONDAY
Someone cares less than Cuba Gooding, Jr.
Grand CinemaBlend pooh-ba Josh Tyler is disgusted with actors who stopped caring. They make bad movie after bad movie and piss away sometimes substantial talent in search of a paycheck without a hint of remorse. If you think the biggest example of this is Mr. Snow Dogs himself, guess again. Speaking of a paycheck, Stephen Sommers may earn one directing a G.I. Joe movie. Movie about boy dolls are all the rage these days and Paramount wants to squeeze a few bucks out of the trend before it goes the way of volcano eruption movies.
TUESDAY
How did Bond become Bond, Part Deux.
Jungle Book without that annoying song on the way.
Casino Royale, the last Bond movie, delved into how the Bond we know become the Bond we know. Daniel Craig, who carries the mantel once worn proudly by Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton, says he’d like to have the next unnamed Bond movie continue that journey. As long as he kills some bad guys and gets laid, I’m good with it. I don’t think anyone will get laid in a live action adaptation of “The Jungle Book” that is being planned. This one won’t have a scat singing bear or any of things that makes famous literature go down easy.
Superbad interview is Supergood!
In a new development, hot chick makes guys excited about seeing movie.
Katey Rich sat down with the stars of Superbad and asked them all kinds of questions. They then gave all kinds of answers. In doing so we learn more about them as people and they get to plug the hell out of their movie. It’s win-win. And in line with plugging the hell out of things, Sarah Michelle Gellar, who we all sort of forgot about, is looking pretty dang hot in a picture from her next movie Southland Tales. Now if we can only get Selma Blair added into the movie at the last minute.
THURSDAY
Saw poster gives you head.
See Anna Faris in pictures from movie, if you dare.
If you’re interested in seeing Saw IV, then you may want to take a gander at the new movie poster. If you aren’t interested in seeing it, it’s not like the poster will make you want to see it, but it might be good for a “hmmm, that’s kinda gross” moment. Anna Faris, who is the gal in all the Scary Movie movies, is going to be in a movie about a Playboy bunny. Since she doesn’t really look like one and the whole premise sounds terrible, take a gander at her before the whole thing disappears into bad movie hell forever.
FRIDAY
Jamie Foxx is interested in music, really, really interested.
Uwe Boll is both bad filmmaker and tremendous a-hole, allegedly.
Jamie Foxx loves him some music. Because of this and his love of Oscar recognition, he’s playing a crazy homeless guy who wants to play in a symphony hall. Crazy musicians are a particular favorite of Oscar voters, so don’t vote against him, if you have a vote. The Oscar voters won’t have to worry about voting for Uwe Boll since he’s never made a movie that is anything but crushingly awful. His next movie was seen be a critic who said it stunk and Boll got pissed at the critic and sent him some e-mails. They make for interesting reading. More interesting than any of Boll’s movies, that is.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
