Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
It’s August, which means it’s time for some offensive comedies. Making fun of the mentally challenged, selling pot to kids, and pretending to be black when you’re Australian are all par for the course for your Pineapple Expressess and Tropic Thunderers. But that’s not all that was going on in the movie world last week. Morgan Freeman flipped his car and got divorced all at the same time. Nice work pretend god.
SATURDAY
The non-Beatles related Rain is Ninjariffic.
Korean pop star Rain can’t speak much English. I heard him give an answer at Comic Con that wasn’t even remotely related to the question asked. Still, he can swing him a Ninja sword when needed. We even have a video to prove it.
SUNDAY
Colin Firth never gets old.
This Comedian doesn’t make me laugh so much.
I’m a Colin Firth fan and I’m neither gay nor a woman. That’s rare I think. I’m sure Colin will be thinking of that as he stars in a movie based on an Oscar Wilde story. Or maybe he won’t think of me at all. Neither will Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays the Comedian in the movie version of Watchmen. I will watch the Watchmen, but that doesn’t mean that the Comedian isn’t kind of a dick.
MONDAY
Morgan Freeman hurt but not super badly.
Seth Rogen wants everyone to see his porn.
So Morgan Freeman was driving down the road one minute and then was sorta in a ditch with a woman who wasn’t his wife. Man, what rotten luck. No more luck of the Irish, eh Red? A lucky guy by any standard is Seth Rogen. He’s kind of an ugly, out of shape pot head and he’s still a big movie star. Go figure. Seth can’t figure why his movie about porn isn’t appropriate for kids. Hmmmmm, it’s surprising alright.
TUESDAY
We stand up for offensiveness.
Oh boy, more Justice League movie news!
Some people are offended by the use of the word “retard” in Tropic Thunder. Josh Tyler tells those people to lighten up and every single one of them post that Josh is an unfeeling a-hole in our comments section. I think the real unfeeling a-hole is whoever won’t let this Justice League movie die. I can’t take any more of these stories, can you?
George Lucas gets to meet Josh Tyler…the lucky bastard.
Franco and Rogen talk weed.
Fresh from his high horse protecting the right of Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. to say “retard,” Josh met with George Lucas. It was just Josh and George Lucas (and some other reporters and probably a few other people.) Still, that’s pretty cool, don’t you think. I mean this is the guy that made two really good Star Wars movies (and four pretty shitty Star Wars movies.) It’s possible that Pineapple Express will be shitty, but I doubt it. It has two of the guys from Freaks and Geeks. We even got to interview both of them. Are we big wheels or what? .
THURSDAY
Star Wars is for everybody….with $10.50.
Mack decides to be more offensive than Ben Stiller ever was.
Rafe took his video camera to Comic Con. Sometimes he’d turn it on, stick a mic in someone’s face and ask questions. This happened with the director and producer of Clone Wars and they were nice enough to answer his questions rather than telling him to pound sand. That was pretty cool of them, I thought. Mack was very un-cool in taking Josh’s “retard” support one step further. Actually, it was like a light year further. Mack thinks you should everyone, just for the hell of it.
FRIDAY
Hollywood hates the pentathlon, too.
This is the worst movie in the history of movies.
Did you watch the Olympic opening ceremonies? No? Me, either. I did rewatch Chariots of Fire and then I realized that the Americans lost! Jeez, what a crummy movie. No wonder we all hate Olympic movies. Not as much as we will hate that movie about Chihuahuas that is going to stink up theaters soon. Man, what a piece of rectum juice.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
