Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
Usually I take time in this particular space to introduce the week’s news:blended. Let’s face it, though, it is rarely relevant or even that funny. So, I’m going to use this space to encourage you to not see Disaster Movie. I’m doing you a favor here. No joke.
SATURDAY
Last Saturday I wrote the only news item. It was a thing we like to call news:blended. You’re now reading about that news:blended in this news:blended. If I reference this in next week’s news:blended, we are really going to be screwed up. Get Hiro on the phone, we need some space/time continuum action to get this thing sorted out.
SUNDAY
The luckiest son-of-a-bitch in the world.
School days, school days, good old fashioned rule days?
Kevin Smith is officially luckier than you or me. He gets to meet lots of big stars and make movies. He gets to host the Battlestar Galactica panel at Comic Con while you have to stand in line for four hours just to get in. He gets to watch movies before they are released or even a decent trailer is put online. So, suck it I guess. Speaking of things that suck, school starts this week! Or last week, or next week. It’s here, though and you need to get your DVD player fired up and watch you some school related movies. Josh picked 12, which is a magic number and also prime. I think.
MONDAY
Mickey Rooney is in talks to play the Riddler.
Now powered by Diesel!
Did you ever wish Christopher Nolan’s Batman franchise would get really shitty? If so, you probably loved the fake story that Cher was maybe going to play Catwoman. It’s not happening of course, so we don’t have to worry. It’s would have been as bad as Heath Ledger playing the Joker. Remember what a stupid idea that was? I can’t write the word stupid without thinking of those Fast and Furious movies. Another one is coming back to theaters and they made a trailer for it, since that’s what you do.
TUESDAY
Babylon A.D. director hates his own film.
The Nazis are back. Not only is Tom Cruise trying to kill Hilter later this year, but Viggo Mortensen is trying not to join-up in Good. The trailer shows Viggo looking worried and sad a lot. Maybe he should look for Tom Crusie, that guy has a plan for dealing with the Nazis. Another guy with a plan was Babylon A.D. director Mathieu Kassovitz. He had a plan to make a good movie. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out that way. He blames the studio.
Nerd Fight: McLovin and Hill or Murray and Radner
Come with me if you want to have a better career.
Mack is always pissed. Not drunk pissed, although that too, but angry. Now he’s angry about how every movie is about a bunch of nerd boys getting laid. Every single one, even Speed Racer. Mack’s rant generated a great comment section and a lengthy thread in our Forum. I guess saying that high school wasn’t that bad for nerds is in some way controversial. Go figure. We also tried to go figure what happened to Linda Hamilton’s career after Terminator 2. We still don’t seem to be quite sure.
THURSDAY
Please, watch Office Space.
In case you didn’t know it, Meet Dave was a big bomb. Oh? You knew that? Well there may be some stuff about this summer’s box office winners, losers, and in-betweeners that you don’t know. Fortunately, Josh and Scott lay it all out so even an idiot can understand. The Dark Knight was the biggest winner, anybody see it? If you are going to see something besides said Mr. Knight, make it a DVD of Office Space. It’s such a great movie and not just for cubicle drones. Ron Livingston is making another movie about corporate life, but screw that. Get Office Space now.
FRIDAY
The cart is here, now where is the horse?
It’s INSANE!
Usually a decision is made to make a film, then they start making it, THEN they come up with stupid contests to help publicize the movie. Spider-Man 4 is going about all of this ass-backwards. Of course, the movie, if it is ever made, will make $400 billion zillion dollars anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter much. If also doesn’t matter that I’m not someone who wants to go see Crank 2. Josh Tyler wants to see it because he thought the first movie was crazy with the action insanity. Also, because it has something to do with adrenaline levels, I think, it qualifies as a science course at my cities alternative high school.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
