Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
Lots of stories this week with no real discernable theme. So I won’t even try to make one up.
SATURDAY
The title of this movie describes my life.
It would have been better than Nic Cage, though.
We are very excited about Happy Go Lucky around this site. We do that sometimes and it never seems to help with box office or anything (remember how jazzed we were about The Lookout?). It’s not a cover jinx or anything, but people don’t seem to run out and buy tickets just because of us. Can’t figure out why. I also can’t figure out why anyone thought Brendan Fraser would have been a good Superman. It’s like Heath Ledger as the Joker, it just sounds like a real bad idea, doesn’t it?
SUNDAY
This just goes on and on.
It seems the battle between Head Honcho Josh Tyler and the fans of Tyler Perry never ends. Josh wrote that the fans of Tyler Perry are bad fans and they wrote in the comments section…..a lot of weird stuff. Not all of it was weird, but some of it sure was. Hey…did you notice Josh TYLER and TYLER Perry. Coincidence? I think not.
MONDAY
Nite Owl is all about the settlement.
Doesn’t it seem like David Boreanaz’s name is longer than it should be?
Nobody really thinks Watchmen won’t be released just because it’s being sued by Fox. That said, we now have reassurance from a guy who would know. He plays a superhero in the movie and he’s sure it’s going to be released. The guy is a SUPER-FREAKIN’-HERO, ok? He’d know. Another super-freakin’-hero is Green Lantern. He has a powerful ring and a powerful thirst for justice. He might be played by that guy who was a vampire and now is in that television show about bones called, uh, Bones.
TUESDAY
Not quite so enchanting in this film.
I almost made $50 million last year, too.
We all love Anne Hathaway for being so cute in Princess Diaries and Elle Enchanted. Then she turned out pretty hot, which was nice too. Now she’s working at being considered a great actress with stuff like Rachel Getting Married. That’s ok, too, I suppose. It’s definitely ok that Tobey Maguire is probably back for at least two Spider-Man movies. I don’t care if he makes $50 million and has half the day off to spend with his kid. Just get these things made.
Mace Windu is a cop living on your street.
Hasselhoff versus Ninjas.
We got to interview Samuel L. Jackson. I think that’s pretty damn cool. His new movie looks terrible, but he’s still Samuel L. Jackson. I only wish we’d called him Laurence Fishburne, like they used to do on the Howard Stern Show. That would have been funny. Not as funny as David Hasselhoff in a movie, though. He’s going to be in a ninja movie. That means the movie will automatically suck, it’s a harsh but true law.
THURSDAY
A third movie to follow the unmade second movie on the unreleased first movie is also being planned.
You don’t like me, you really, really don’t like me!
I hate movies that aren’t even released talking about sequels. Kevin Costner did that with Mr. Brooks and when only 439 people saw Mr. Brooks that was end of Mr. Brooks 2. Now Ed Harris is talking about Appaloosa 2 before Appaloosa even gets out of the starting gate. Diablo Cody is also talking. She’s not talking about a sequel; she’s talking about how no one should not like her because she’s really great and talented. There’s also something about zeitgeist.
FRIDAY
She should never take a role set anymore than 3 years in the past.
Well known Asian actor plays well known Asian character.
I think Renee Zellweger drove over Katey Rich’s foot at some point. That’s the only reason Katey would rant about how all of Renee’s movies that take place in the past are terrible. Unless, of course, they are all terrible. It’s hard to know which way to go on that one. It’s not hard to get excited about Seth Rogen’s Green Hornet movie. Especially now that he’s found a guy to play Kato and a guy to direct. In a cost cutting move, they are the same guy.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
