Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
I’ve been hard at work over in our DVD Section this week so I don’t know what the hell is going on in movie news. I basically just pulled a bunch of stories out randomly and stuck them in this summary. There’s no rhyme or reason and probably a huge story broke that I’m totally ignoring. How’s that for building up the anticipation!
SATURDAY
Inside the Inside Man again.
Did you know we were covering the Toronto International Film Festival? This is an international festival, baby. Like a fine set of coffee related products. We’re watching the movies they show and telling you if they are sucky or not. Most of them are not sucky, unlike those coffees. Speaking of sucky; unless you are a pretentious ass you know that Spike Lee makes lousy movies. Except Inside Man. That movie was awesome. Fortunately, he’s planning on making a sequel of that movie and not any of his others. Would you really want to see Bamboozled 2?
SUNDAY
Orson Welles could be your best friend.
On Sunday we got our clips on. It’s not like Andy Bernard getting his beer on and his Lost, but it’s something. We saw some backstage type stuff from Watchmen. No, it’s not the Fox lawyers trying to screw you out of seeing it, it’s stuff about the crew. There is also a clip of Me and Orson Welles starring everyone’s favorite Wildcard, Zac Efron. Efron is the reason I have to listen to “We’re All in this Together” eight times a day. I hope Orson Welles breaks a bottle of Ernest and Jullio Gallo wine over his head.
MONDAY
Seth Rogen can fly.
Singing, dancing, Evil Dead movie.
Imagine if they made Rocketeer with Seth Rogen instead of Billy Campbell. It would suck, right? Maybe not. Kevin Smith is thinking about making a movie where Rogen looks like the Rocketeer but in outerspace and with the name Ranger Danger. It might still suck, but it’s a funny name. It’s also funny that made a musical out of Evil Dead. Now they are talking about making a movie of the musical of the movie. That worked so well for The Producers, didn’t it? No, it didn’t.
TUESDAY
I have solace that this movie will kick-ass.
In other big news, I've just sold a script called "Dizzy in High Places" starring one of the Zack and Cody twins.
Is there anyone who isn’t totally psyched about the next James Bond film? We posted the new trailer and it makes me forget that the title is so stupid. I’m going to have ask for my ticket by saying “the James Bond movie with the stupid-ass title,” but I’m going to ask for it just the same. I already asked for a Disturbia ticket and I liked the movie. I said “this is a good version of Rear Window.” I assumed they had bought the rights to Rear Window, but they hadn’t. Now Jimmy Stewart is getting litigationy on their ass. Well, not Jimmy, but someone.
The best movie about a blind superhero in the last couple of years, probably.
It’s like The Royal Tenenbaums, only coherent.
They might remake Daredevil. It’s not like I can say much about that except this: it can’t be any worse than the original. Wes Anderson is also thinking about a remake. Fortunately for him, it’s not of a giant American superhero bomb film made recently. Instead it’s a minor French hit made recently. It also has a guy paying a cab driver to be his friend. Sounds hilarious. . . like Jerry Lewis. .
THURSDAY
We tell the greatest living American actors to stop being so craptastic.
Candelabras…are good.
We’ve been on a “fixing careers” kick these last few weeks. Before it was Vin Diesel and Nic Cage. Now we go after the big boys. Both Vito and Michael Corleone have been disappointing us with…well…junk. So we beg them to retire or become the next Wilford Brimley. I’m pretty sure he’s dead, isn’t he? Liberace is definitely dead. He’s going to be played in a new movie by Michael Douglas who isn’t dead. I don’t think.
FRIDAY
Fourteen wasted years.
Is there any movie Greg Kinnear is not in?
The Women is lucky it came out around the same time as Disaster Movie and Babylon A.D., otherwise, it would be considered the worst movie of the year. Maybe of all time. When you think that the director tried to get this made for 14 years, you have to think that at least it kept her from making 14 years worth of other lousy movies. So that’s something. It’s also something to have seven clips from the movie Flash of Genius. It’s a movie about the guy who invented the intermittent windshield wipers. Seriously.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
