The following contains spoilers for Baywatch.
The Baywatch movie arrived this past weekend and while the film only had a surface-level relationship to its source material, if you were looking for a very adult comedy to entertain you, there are worse options available than this. The movie has all the eye candy you would expect to come from the brand that made Pamela Anderson's bikini-bod famous, and lots of jokes that never would have made it past the censors on television.
If you didn't make it to the theater this weekend but are curious what sort of comedy the Baywatch movie provides, then sit back and enjoy this look at the raunchiest parts of The Rock's Baywatch.
5. Zac Efron Puking
Right off the bat, we're going to cheat a little bit because Zac Efron character's penchant for puking is actually a brief part of two separate scenes, but they're worth taking together. Efron's Matt Brody is a former Olympic swimmer with an unfortunate nickname, the Vomit Comet. In the film, we see footage of him racing in an Olympic relay after a night of partying. The exertion is too much for him and he pukes while swimming. The stream of puke flowing behind him is fairly impressive, as is the fact that he never slows down. That's dedication. Later, we see Efron drunk in a pool again. He's no longer racing. This time, he just vomits in somebody's pool.
4. It's Raining Body Parts
The plot of Baywatch, in as much as there is one, sees the lifeguard team attempting to stop drugs from being dealt on their beach. The final battle with the Kingpin takes place on a fireworks platform in the water when Dwayne Johnson turns a mortar on the bad guy and blasts her with it. As one can imagine, this does more than just kill her, it results in her being blown to pieces, and parts of her body to come raining down on Zac Efron, including a foot that lands right in front of him.
3. Melting Human Bodies
Of all the ridiculous things that a bunch of lifeguards end up doing in Baywatch, the craziest may be sneaking into a hospital morgue to investigate a dead body. At one point, our heroes have to hide in cadaver drawers to avoid being spotted. Zac Efron's character chooses poorly as not only does his drawer already contain a dead body he has to lie on top of, but he then begins to get drops of human fat, melting off the body above him, dripping onto his face. It's about as disgusting as you imagine. He ends up jumping out of the drawer and starts swallowing hand sanitizer, which doesn't sound that much better.
2. Dick Stuck in a Deckchair
We're introduced to Jon Bass's character of Ronnie Greenbaum as a former IT guy who is mildly obsessed with attractive lifeguard CJ Parker. He likes her so much that close proximity to her, even when receiving the Heimlich maneuver, gets him excited. In an attempt to hide his, uh, excitement, from CJ, Ronnie drops to the beach, unaware that there's a folded up beach chair in front of him. The scene takes a page from the prom sequence in There's Something About Mary, as he gets his junk stuck, and requires the assistance of the lifeguards, including CJ, to get himself unstuck. Eventually, the entire beach ends up watching the "rescue."
1. Corpse Cock
The original Baywatch TV series' stock in trade was sexy women. Of course, since it was TV, there was never any actual nudity. The Baywatch movie teased that it was going to change this, and then it fooled us all when the only nudity we received was male. Also, it was a corpse. When investigating the body of a man who died in the water off the beach, Dwayne Johnson's character asks Zac Efron to check the body's taint for needle marks. It would have been a raunchy enough scene with simply the suggestion, but the dead body's dick is there for all to see for a significant period of time, making the scene all the more vulgar.
