Dude Calls 911: My One Night Stand Is Snoring Like A Train

There are few things more annoying than sleeping next to someone who is snoring away like a train. Faced with the possibility of said person causing a loud breathing ruckus all night, immediate action needs to be taken, whether it be in the form of jolting the snorer awake, banishing the snorer to the couch or moving to the couch yourself. The chance you could miss out on sleep all night just isn’t worth being polite. That being said, unless that snorer is slowly choking to death, the situation needs to be handled in house, not be the police.

Meet Ben Duddles. He’s perhaps the only man in America who didn’t realize that. Last weekend, he brought home an unidentified woman. She happened to be a loud sleeper, and after a few nudges didn’t wake her up, our hero, or maybe anti-hero, decided to call 911 to ask that the woman sharing his bed be forcibly removed from his home.

Yes, this actually happened, and not surprisingly, alcohol was a factor. You can check out a hilarious local news segment about the incident below…

According to WISN, the police responded to the scene and actually woke the woman up. It’s unclear whether they forced her to leave as he requested, but the evening reportedly ended with the man receiving a lecture about wasting the department’s resources. More than likely, he also got explicitly told by the woman he could go elsewhere for hook-ups in the future. He probably thought the tongue lashings would be the end of it, but after word of the incident reached the local news, camera crews descended on his house to ask him what happened.

Like any blowhard, the man first defended his actions and loudly vowed he wouldn’t apologize, but upon a further assessment of the situation, he decided to let the police know he shouldn’t have used city resources to complain about his one night stand’s loud snoring. Apparently, he was hit with the sudden realization that cops have real problems to worry about, or at least more interesting ones.