Jeff Garlin Won't Face Charges For Punching Window During Parking Spot Argument

Jeff Garlin found himself in the middle of what must have felt like a Curb Your Enthusiasm plotline last week when his anger turned into a heated confrontation with a woman over a parking spot. The actor and the unidentified chick allegedly went back-and-forth for a bit before the noted Chicago Cubs fan got so furious he hauled off and punched the woman’s Mercedes right in the side window. He managed to shatter the entire thing with his apparently more imposing than originally thought man strength, which, of course, led to a visit from the local police department.

According to TMZ, Garlin was taken to jail after the LAPD arrived at the scene and took statements from everyone. At the time, he was charged with vandalism, but upon further review, the district attorney has decided not to charge him with any crime, which likely means there’s a whole lot more to this story than has been publically released, or he offered to pay for the damage and the woman indicated she would rather do it that way than have to show up and testify.

Depending on where one is at, parking in Los Angeles is not a whole lot of fun. You can drive around in circles a few times without seeing a legitimate parking option, which is why it’s particularly infuriating when some random idiot swoops in and unfairly takes the spot. That being said, LA is not nearly as bad as Chicago or New York City. It’s not like anyone will go more than ten minutes or more than ten blocks without finding somewhere; so, everyone involved would have been better off taking a few breaths and realizing the situation wasn’t punch a window serious.

Because he won’t have to appear in court, Garlin will be summoned in front of the prosecutor in the coming days for a stern lecture about why he needs to get his act together. No doubt that conversation will be one giant slice of humbled awkwardness, but compared to the possibility of having to do community service or going to real jail, the usually affable comedian should be counting his lucky stars to be basically in the clear following such a reckless and violent act.

Moving forward, Garlin will be seen in the ABC comedy The Goldbergs, which will follow a goofy family in the mid 1980s. Beyond that, if the hopes and dreams of the world become reality, he’ll also been seen in more hysterical episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and perhaps, a ParaNorman sequel. We’ll keep you updated.

Without firsthand knowledge of individual situations and an actual grasp of a celebrity’s personality, it’s always hard to know exactly what happened in a situation. That’s why I like to employ the Track Record Approach. If someone has been famous for years, hasn’t caused a lot of problems and seems to be well-liked by his or her peers, I give the benefit of the doubt. If trouble seems to follow someone around, however, I assume, rightly or wrongly, they probably played a role in what happened. Luckily for Garlin, however, he’s most definitely on the right side of that equation. So, until I hear otherwise, I'll assume this mystery parker wasn't exactly an angel to deal with.