Scientists Think They Know How Hideous Giant Eyeball Washed Up On The Beach

This morning, experts from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission weighed in on the mystery eyeball that washed up on Pompano Beach last week, and sadly, they are siding with the most boring and middle of the road theory of them all. Apparently, the disgusting softball-sized monstrosity came from a swordfish, and it wasn’t even lost in a swordfish-on-swordfish brawl.

Go ahead and take a look at the hideous orb below…

According to MyFWC, the cuts around the eye are straight enough to indicate they were probably done by a human postmortem. Thus, the most likely scenario would be a fisherman caught a giant swordfish, gutted it, removed its eyes, tossed them back in the water and one washed up on Pompano Beach last Wednesday. That’s far less cool than the Giant Squid fight or the Cthulhu connection others have been proposing, but as Congressman Todd Akin found out, arguing against science is a good way to get ridiculed.

Over the next few weeks, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is going to conduct a genetic analysis to verify the swordfish findings. When those results are released, there is a slim chance we could still get thrown a super-octopus, whale-alligator or other weird, previously undiscovered beast curveball.

Fingers crossed.