Super Bowl: 4 Reasons To Root Either For Or Against The 49ers And Ravens

There are a lot of people who love the San Francisco 49ers, and there are a lot of people who love the Baltimore Ravens. When added together, this number easily extends into the millions and may even creep into eight figures. Since I’m feeling generous, let’s say this total is over eight figures. Let’s say twelve, no, fifteen million people are totally in love with the Baltimore Ravens or the San Francisco 49ers. They’ve been watching the games all season, may or may not have bumper stickers on their car and may or may not paint their faces David Puddy style. Everyone in this group will be watching the game this weekend with furious passion.

Now, for the sake of argument, let’s say there’s another fifteen million people out there who just aggressively despise one of these teams. They either love the Raiders and hate the 49ers or love the Steelers and hate the Ravens or got cut off in traffic by Ray Lewis once or walked in on their fiancée having sex with one of the team’s trainers. Altogether, that would make thirty million people with a clear rooting interest in either someone winning or someone losing, a figure that is comically dwarfed by the number of viewers who will decide which team to root for based on a number of smaller factors they have either already considered or haven’t yet considered.

The following list is for people who need something to push them toward the 49ers, toward the Ravens, away from the 49ers or away from the Ravens. It’s for the football traditionalist who isn’t quite sure whether he likes watching Colin Kapernick scramble out of the pocket. It’s for the disgruntled Minnesota Vikings fan who is impressed by the Ravens defense but bothered by how quickly they’re willing to step over the line. It’s for the twenty-something more concerned with the Salad Nicoise for his Super Bowl party and for the high schooler who wants you to remind her which two teams are playing again. It’s for all of us stuck in the middle.

Here are some random factors, some football related and some not, to think about before Sunday’s kickoff…

Reason To Root For The 49ers: Loyalty To David Akers

San Francisco 49ers kicker David Akers plowed his massive left foot into the football like a man possessed last year. He made an NFL record forty-four field goals, threw a touchdown pass on a fake and went to the Pro Bowl as the best kicker in the NFC. Unfortunately, this year has been just as much of an emotional extreme but in the opposite direction.

Poor Akers has kicked like a man only vaguely interested in saving his job. The thirty-eight-year-old has missed fourteen field goals including one during the NFC Championship Game. Members of the media and even many 49ers fans have publically called for him to be thrown off the team and replaced with anyone else, but through it all, coach Jim Harbaugh has continuously said he believes in David and will stick with him. That kind of loyalty is rare in football, and it has led many to hope Akers rewards that confidence with a good performance during the Super Bowl.

Reason To Root Against The 49ers: Chris Culliver’s Ugly Comments About Gay People

Many residents of San Francisco might pride themselves on being open to everything from homosexuality to bisexuality to transgender(ism?) to healthy experimentation, but apparently, 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver is not among that generous lot. He appeared on Artie Lange’s radio show earlier this week to hype the Super Bowl, but instead, he wound up pissing off sensible people all over the country by saying he would want any teammate who came out of the closet kicked out of the organization, regardless of how talented they might be.

In the days since, Culliver has apologized and plenty of his teammates have publically issued comments saying they’d gladly play alongside a gay teammate, but considering Ravens star Brendon Ayanbadejo has long been a vocal supporter of equal marriage rights for everyone, this whole mess is a fine enough reason to root against the 49ers. Sorry San Francisco, but oddly, in this instance, you’re somehow less gay friendly than Baltimore. Somewhere John Waters is smiling.

Reason To Root For The Ravens: Ed Reed’s Storied Career

Much of the NFL postseason chatter has centered around Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis’ retirement at the end of the season. Number 52 played seventeen seasons with the organization, went to thirteen Pro Bowls and won a slew of awards including a Super Bowl ring. Unfortunately, the massive, muscle-bound shadow he’s kicked throughout both this year and his entire career has (at least somewhat) obscured the play of his longtime teammate Ed Reed, who was drafted a few years after Lewis and has co-led the team’s potent defense for more than a decade.

With a crazy homeless man-like beard and a relentless professionalism, Reed has gone to nine Pro Bowls, won a defensive player of the year award and like Lewis, was recently selected as one of the 100 greatest NFL players in history. He came into the league after the Ravens won their prior Super Bowl and thus, does not have his own ring to show for being one of the two greatest players on one of the greatest defenses in the history of professional football. Ravens fans would like to see him win his first title, and many hardened football fans feel the same way.

Reason To Root Against The Ravens: The Team Reportedly Fired A Cheerleader For Gaining 2 Pounds

Courtney Lenz joined the Baltimore Ravens cheerleading squad five years ago when she was eighteen. Since then, she’s gotten a bachelor’s degree, acquired a full-time job and announced she’ll retire at season’s end. In theory, her final game should have been at the Super Bowl, but unfortunately, she was left off the squad, and rumor has it, the heave-ho happened because she gained two pounds during the season.

Officials from the team are claiming they aren’t able to take Lenz because league rules only allow them to take thirty-two cheerleaders, but every single other cheerleader with three or more years of experience was shipped to New Orleans for the Big Game. The whole thing sounds like shady business, and while I think most of us can wrap our heads around the idea of a cheerleader getting benched if she got huge, two pounds seems like it could stem from drinking extra water.