Spoilers below for The Perfect Couple, so be warned if you haven’t yet watched!
Whether or not The Perfect Couple goes down as one of Netflix’s best series is for history to decide, but considering it’s remained a high performer for the streaming giant’s Top 10, its popularity can’t be denied. But I feel like the presumed millions of viewers also wouldn’t deny the notion that the affluence-obsessed characters populating this highly binge-worthy mystery thriller are among the worst to hit the 2024 TV schedule.
The cast — led by top-tier talents such as Nicole Kidman, Liev Schrieber, Dakota Fanning and more — bring all of these boozy, greedy, foolish, desperate hornballs to life with aplomb, and critics agree it’s quite an enjoyable adaptation, even as one comes to gradually despise nearly everyone on the screen. And so rather than merely talking shit about everyone who showed up for Amelia and Benji’s wedding, let’s celebrate their awfulness by ranking the core group from the worst to THE ABSOLUTE WORST. But first…
The Best: Chief Carter & Detective Henry
Hand(cuff)s down, what I loved the most about The Perfect Couple were its best characters: Michael Beach’s police chief and Donna Lynne Champlin’s inbound detective. Fine enough on their own, despite Det. Henry not getting much story development, they really shined as a duo in the office and interrogation room. Such is the importance of nailing the chemistry between actors.
And now onto the actual worst characters in the Netflix Original, starting with the most sympathetic presence.
14. Karen Sacks
Honestly, I didn’t throw Michael McGrady’s Bruce Sacks into this list since he basically maintained his “supportive dad and husband” presence without much swaying. But Dendrie Taylor’s Karen slots in as the most forgivable worst person for bringing suicide pills to a wedding whose date was shifted forward specifically for her benefit. I get the intentions, mind you, but they still ooze far too many glass-half-empty vibes, as well as being a means for murder.
13. Chloe Carter
By and large, Mia Isaac’s teen catering staffer Chloe Carter is a peach of a character, and is perhaps even more likable than her police chief father. However, Chloe couldn’t help but lose cool points for continuing to be friendly with Will despite his bad decisions and generally chaotic aura. When she agreed to get on the boat with him, it nearly sank immediately from my utter disbelief weighing it down.
12. Broderick Graham
Had Broderick Graham actually been the disruptive mobster-adjacent threat that he was perceived to be for most of the season, he might have been a pure highlight. But instead, he turned out to be a rotten gambling addict taking advantage of his rich sister’s cashflow after having previously been her pimp. Not the greatest accolades. Still, Tommy Flanagan is inherently badass, and I can hardly blame him for mooching off of the Winbury’s bank account.
11. Merritt Monaco
In some ways, Meaghann Fey’s Merritt was The Perfect Couple’s ideal version of a party buddy, such was her charisma and easy-going nature. But while Amelia couldn’t help but see and describe Merritt as being a mostly virginal princess, the clandestine relationship with Tag and ensuing pregnancy serve as proof that she possibly doesn’t boast the best instincts on all fronts. Not to fall back on victim-blaming here, but she basically set up her own death with that mega-terrible life choice. And it’s like, why though? Tag sucks.
10. Will Winbury
To cut will some immediately slack, it probably sucks being the maligned youngest kid in a family like the Winburys, where the father doesn’t exactly hide his disdain. But I’m not convinced that Will actually makes any good decisions during any episodes of The Perfect Couple, and can think of several terrible moves he made. Not the least of which is nearly killing himself and Chloe.
9. Abby Winbury
One might think that the legitimately guilty party in this series would certainly factor into being one of the very worst characters, but for all Dakota Fanning’s obsession with maintaining her financial status and other non-desirable attributes, she was one of the first characters outside of Bejni and Merrill who eventually treated Amelia like another person. So there’s humanity in there somewhere beneath the murder plotting, infidelity ignoring, etc.
8. Benji Winbury
The golden child in his mother's eyes (and hopefully that's the only area), Billy Howle's Benji should have been an ideal future groom, but was instead a mildly charming lump of mashed potatoes. At no point did I gra$p Amelia'$ rea$oning for choo$ing him for life...oh wait, maybe it was the money thing... In any case, Benji easily wins Skeeziest Red Herring for having and hidingthose pics of Merrill.
7. Isabel Nallet
I loved Isabelle Adjani's chaotic friend of the family as much as anyone else on this show, but in terms of actually being a friend to this family or anyone else, Isabel doesn't hold much water. Somebody else would be holding her water anyway, such is her casual wealth. She's got a heart that knows where the right place is, but perhaps only after fulfilling a marriage-breaking vice or two.
6. Shooter Dival
Ishaan Khatter's apparently hyper-wealthy Shooter Dival kinda remains an largely unexplored character defined largely by his actions. Such actions include attempting to flee the island, trying to woo his BFF's woman, having a weirdo relationship with Greer, and so on. It all might have been more forgivable if his subdermal infatuation with Amelia didn't hinge on a completely forgettable moment in a train that he's hung onto for multiple years. Did Shooter have any great qualities?
5. Amelia Sacks
As the marginally relatable protagonist at the heart of The Perfect Couple, Eve Hewson's Amelia is kind of a plug who is clearly unhappy with most or all aspects of her life, yet remained stuck in such ruts until being shocked out of it by Merrill's death. She earns major points for getting under Greer's skin with her body positivity and social skills, but I'd much rather see her happily in her element with a likeminded set of characters. Not a cool move banging a boring dude and dooming your best friend, Amelia.
4. Gosia
Irina Dubova's Gosia doesn't get a whole lot of character development within her recurring role as the Winbury's housekeeper, but it doesn't take much at all to commend the terrible vibes she oozes with each judgmental stare and snide comment. She puts forth all of the bad attributes from this show's richie-riches, regardless of her occupational standings. Gosia does not hold much love for the poors, and wants everyone to know it.
3. Tag Winbury
To list the only living women in The Perfect Couple that Tag Winbury hasn't had sex with, or at least tried to, one may be limited to just Amelia's mom and Detective Henry. (We didn't get to see much of Henry's personal life, though.) And lord only knows how many other women he's professed his unyielding love to beyond Greer and Merritt.
Despite any charisma he might have lurking beneath his addictive tendencies, it's all voided by giving rich, horny stoners a bad name. Plus, the way he upended Greer's book reading was one of the most awkward drunken displays I can imagine, even without the abysmal singalong.
2. Thomas Winbury
For someone whose screentime is fairly limited compared to other main characters, Jack Reynor's Thomas utilizes every single second to remind everyone he's an immoral tool. From intentionally starting shit amongs his parents and siblings to cheating on his wife to failing to be financially responsible with the woman he's cheating with, Thomas is a flagrant asshat.
The cherry on top, of course, is his wildly dangerous habit of stealing other people's medication. That he's so cavalier and unapologetic about it just makes the act that much more stomach-churning. It would have been nice to see him suffer harshly from taking the wrong meds at some point.
1. Greer Garrison Winbury
The Perfect Couple's queen bee also happens to boast the series' most appalling behavior and personality, as Nicole Kidman's Greer Garrison Winbury takes the cake as the ABSOLUTE WORST character on this show. And her awfulness is made all the more effective with every callous glare and unwarranted huff that Kidman expertly dishes out.
As a viewer, I kinda feel like I should be all-in on supporting Greer for being a former sex worker who used her talents to finance a secondary career as a hugely popular author. Instead, the entirety of her literary output is based on bullshit, and she continues reaping the rewards without seeming to give any sincere love to her fandom. But her most vile sin was inarguably attempting to join Tag in his drunken. warbling during her wrecked book launch. That scene will forever be etched into my memory as platinum-plated cringe.
Regardless of whether or not anyone agreed with me, dear readers, I think we can still all agree that if a Season 2 would ever be produced for those with Netflix subscriptions, we'd all jump right back in front the interrogation room glass to watch more from these terrible people.
