Well, friends, we are at the end of one very crazy road now that all of us with a Netflix subscription have been able to watch the third and final installment of the controversial 365 Days franchise, The Next 365 Days, which released recently as part of the 2022 Netflix movie schedule. As you can probably guess, the trilogy-ending film brought viewers a lot of sex, surprises, and much more, and while I will definitely be writing about the ending, honestly? I really don’t know what to make of this movie right now, despite having watched it several days ago.
So! To help me process my feelings about The Next 365 Days (a potential new addition to the sexually explicit Netflix movies list), I’m going to go through some of the many (MANY) thoughts I had while watching this film. And, just so you know, there are SPOILERS APLENTY throughout this article, so if you haven’t finished the franchise yet, you might want to do that before reading on. Ready? Let’s do this!
I’m Scared
You guys? These movies are wild, OK? You cannot count on getting anything other than sex scenes from the 365 Days franchise, so all plotlines and, really, common sense moves by Laura, Massimo, or others involved are up in the air. I wasn’t even fully watching the movie when this first thought came up. I had literally hit play and was still making my way through the various logos for the companies that produced The Next 365 Days when I thought, “I’m scared.” Is that good or bad? I don’t know!
This Franchise Hates Dealing With The Fallout From Cliffhangers
Well, dammit. You know how the previous film started with Laura and Olga physically recovered from whatever attack they endured in the tunnel at the end of 365 Days? And, how all we heard about that traumatic event was that it caused Laura to lose her baby? This movie takes that same route, by completely skipping over the direct fallout from Laura getting shot at the end of the second movie. All we know is that Massimo’s evil twin, Adriano, is somehow dead despite just getting shot in the shoulder during the 365 Days: This Day ending, and Laura is still recuperating at home and hasn’t been cleared for sexytimes by her doctor yet. Yay?
They’re Over-Stuffing The Movie With Music Again, But I Don’t Totally Mind This Time
The second movie went really hard on music, filling much of its time with (what sounded like the full version of) a whopping 23 songs. It was baffling, but I totally got it after watching, because the 365 Days movies are, how do I say this nicely…relatively light on plot and believable dialogue, alright? So, when I was about eight minutes into the third movie, and realized I’d heard roughly five full songs, I knew they were up to their old tricks on The Next 365 Days soundtrack. But, I didn’t really mind it, because it stops us from listening to the less than optimal dialogue, and the songs also fit the scenery very well. Win-win!
Three Sex Scenes And No Nudity? Curious
As we know, 365 Days is famous for its shockingly realistic sex scenes and lots of nudity, but, somehow we get through three sex scenes without Anna-Maria Sieklucka (who’s been naked a lot for these movies) or Michele Morrone showing any serious skin. I found it odd, but will admit to also being kinda happy for Sieklucka, as I assumed she was just tired of filming so much nudity and said she wasn’t interested this time around. Turns out, that wasn’t the case.
Look At Massimo Enjoying His Alone Time In The Shower. Good For Him!
Shortly after a shot of Nacho’s very firm man butt breaks the no-nudity streak, Massimo takes a shower. Not revolutionary on its own, but this scene featured Massimo, um… enjoying his alone time in the shower. And, you know what? Laura indulged in similar activities in both of the first two movies, so good for Massimo!
So, Laura Can Actually Design Clothes Now?
365 Days: This Day showed us that Massimo bought a fashion company for Laura to run, after she told him she was bored of being a kept mob wife. I was already suspicious of her ability to run a whole company of any sort (She worked for a hotel before; as a sales manager, maybe?), but in The Next 365 Days, not only is she fully running that fashion company, but actually designing the clothes. Did we already know she could do this, or did Laura learn fashion design while convalescing after her two mob-related injuries? We may never know!
Of Course There’s A Sex Club Scene
I suppose someone had to get naked in the first 40 minutes of this movie.
Olga Is Definitely The Best Part Of These Movies
Magdalena Lamparska, who plays Laura’s best friend Olga, is really the best part of this whole trilogy. She’s funny, willing to tell her buddy when she’s being dumb while also managing to be a good friend who doesn’t judge Laura for her stupid moves, and can also deliver her own messy drama and fun sexytimes. I’m here for a movie focused on Olga’s adventures, is what I’m saying.
Man, Laura Has Some Vivid (And Vividly Naked) Dreams
Ah, I get the withholding of nudity from Laura by the time we get to yet another one of her vivid sex dreams, as about 52 minutes in we see her mind working overtime to conjure up more sex with Nacho, where both look to be totally naked. My guess is that this is our sign that Laura is more into Nacho than Massimo, which is as good of an indicator as anything. But, her vividly sexual dreams do make me wonder why all of my “dreams” are filled with nightmare fuel like vampires and snake attacks. I just realized those both have fangs in common. Should I be talking to my therapist about this?
Uh Oh
So much for the dream sex. Laura caved and had real sex with Nacho, meaning that she cheated on her still new husband, Massimo. This might not end well!
Nacho Is Clearly Better Than Massimo
This was pretty clear during the second film, but becomes even more obvious in The Next 365 Days. I mean, sure, Nacho is a kidnapper just like Massimo, and both are gangsters who live dangerous lives. But! Nacho actually shows pleasant emotions like happiness and kindness when around Laura, as opposed to being stone-faced/emotionally distant all the time like Massimo. He watched a movie with her, you guys! Plus, Nacho only kidnapped Laura to help out his dad, it’s totally not as bad as why Massimo kidnapped her. Nacho + Laura 4Eva!
I. Am. ENRAGED.
Boy howdy. With all of the possible endings that I expected might come to fruition from this nutty trilogy filled with gang activity, kidnappings, sex, and incredibly poor decisions, I certainly did not expect for the final film TO LEAVE FANS WITH YET ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER.
That’s right, folks. Laura spent most of this movie trying to decide if she wanted to leave Massimo for Nacho, and the final minutes see Massimo telling Laura that he’ll let her go, but we don’t get to hear her decision! I was confused at first, so I rewatched the whole ending scene, and then rewatched it again. By the third watch I was livid! All of this mess, and we don’t get to see who Laura ends up with? How dare you! HOW DARE YOU ALL!!!
Luckily, I didn’t stay angry for too long, as I can at least remember the good times, like when Laura and Massimo had lots of adult fun while seafaring, or when Laura ran away with Nacho and he smiled at her like a normal human being. The 365 Days movies are done (as far as we know, anyway...) , but we’ll always have the mostly-naked sexytimes, even if we don’t have an actual end to the franchise.
