Spoilers below for HBO Max’s special Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine’s Day Special, so take note if you haven’t yet watched the NSFW chaos.
To the surprise of exactly no one, Harley Quinn pulled off one of the most memorably riotous holiday TV specials possible with its Very Problematic Valentine’s Day Special, which welcomed a few new guest stars, such as Ted Lasso’s Brett Goldstein, while showcasing a variety of its most enjoyable characters, such as Clayface. And what do you know, the non-CGI British sex symbol and the shapeshifting Batman villain came together — not like that…well, maybe like that — for a stellar jab at Marvel’s WandaVision that spoofed the superhero series’ most memorable line.
For those who didn’t catch the Avengers’ love story play out in emotionally crushing ways in WandaVision (available to stream with a Disney+ subscription), one of their conversations hinged on an arguably poignant line that Vision shares with Wanda:
- "What is grief, if not love persevering?"
If that moment weren’t so beautiful within WandaVision itself, Harley Quinn’s particular spin on it probably wouldn’t be nearly as funny. But it is indeed magical, given the specifically baffling context.
To put it in the most basic terms: Harley Quinn used magic to give Poison Ivy the best orgasm ever, thus spreading her very influential pheromones around Gotham City, turning everyone into total sexpots. Exactly what we’d expect from one of our favorite queer comic book couples. That coincided with Bane turning himself into a giant to make a certain part of himself bigger, which itself led to him destroying the city by humping most of it into rubble.
Meanwhile, Clayface fell in love with his own butt, but with the stipulation that “they” could never touch, while the Emmy-winning Brett Goldstein was in town (with his award in tow) to assist in getting everyone hot and bothered by performing dramatic readings. Just your typical day for this rogues gallery and visiting TV star.
In any case the only way for anyone to stop the gigantic, boner-jobbing Bane was to completely eradicate his boner-having nature. Which gave Clayface the chance to turn into a giant version of Brett Goldstein (complete with a Bermuda triangle of torso fur), at which point he uttered the following speech, which was capped off by the WandaVision gag:
Young master Bane, I know my stubbly, rugged appearance may belie this, but I know a thing or two about love, and let me assure you: love is in the eye of the beholder. And you don’t need to copulate with the building until it crumbles to the ground to let you know that you love it. I mean, what is horny if not love persevering?
This entire cast remains as exquisite as ever, but special props go to Alan Tudyk and James Adomian for respectively delivering some of the funniest moments yet from Clayface and Bane. The fact that Bane was eventually undone by the use of the phrase “begs the question” is incredible, and presumably wouldn’t happen in any other DC project out there. (Prove me wrong, either the TV or movie version of The Flash.)
Harley Quinn is gearing up to bring Season 4 to fans, despite all the negative hubbub surrounding HBO Max last year, not to mention all the updates coming from James Gunn and Peter Safron about the DCU’s future. (Let’s not forget Gunn guest-starred in Season 3.) Can we expect to see Clayface falling in love with his own talking ass in live-action? We will if I can get ahold of some of that magic that Harley used on Ivy.
