Over the course of several movies, the Marvel Cinematic Universe really pushed the idea that Chris Evans has America’s Ass. The jokes were carefully crafted across several Marvel movies, culminating in Cap actually fighting himself in Avengers: Endgame and beating himself, before looking at his own butt and saying, ‘That really is America’s Ass.” But Endgame hit theaters in 2019 and in the time since I’ve begun to wonder if another Hollywood Chris might actually own the title.
When we think of Hollywood Chrises, the superhero actors usually come to mind: Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, Chris Pine, and Chris Hemsworth. But I think it’s time we consider one non-hero's ass for the moniker. Yes, I’m talking about Chris Meloni, the star of Law & Order: Organized Crime.
Some time after Chris Evans made his (seemingly) last debut in the Captain America costume, Christopher Meloni decided to make a big, splashy return to the Law & Order franchise. This in and of itself was news, but things got a little more outta hand after his backside was seen filming for the Law & Order: Organized Crime spinoff last April. The photo went viral and led to a lot of A+ responses on the interwebs, including a cheeky comment from Meloni itself.
Meanwhile, after the picture dropped and Chris Meloni’s glutes were exposed in tight pants, the brouhaha has not really died down. Cher commented. The Internet started calling him Zaddy. And then, back in September, an interviewer at Men’s Health told him he was having a “cultural moment,” and he replied, “My ass is.”
Months later, we’re still talking about Christopher Meloni’s butt, and he’s well aware of the phenomenon. This week he spoke out on a podcast about riding the wave. As the quote became an office talking point, one of my coworkers cleverly atoned “that’s America’s ass.” Which got me thinking..
Why not? Cap’s out of the MCU –though Evans is still pretty fit these days – and no one in a superhero costume or any other role requiring tight pants has claimed the pseudo-title yet. Honestly, given the fact that Meloni managed to do what he did online in “detective pants” for network television when Chris Evans had the aid of a carefully crafted Captain America suit is honestly an achievement. Maybe it is time the title was handed on?
To note, Christopher Meloni is not the only Hollywood Chris who’s butt has taken a gander at becoming “America’s Ass”; he’s just the most recent. A while back, Chris Pratt got into the game as well with a photo showing off a bad burn and a little bum. We remarked at the time that he could have a “crack” at the moniker, but now I’m kind of thinking Chris Meloni has perhaps surpassed him. Though, we’ll have to wait and see if Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 brings some new information to the table.
Meanwhile, congratulations may be in order for Christopher Meloni. Dude’s 60 years old, and clearly still has it.
