Well, after a few decades of speculation about a certain bit of Klingon anatomy, it would seem that the season finale of Star Trek: Discovery has finally solved the question of whether or not the men of that warrior race are packing double heat. Now, it looks like Klingon men, do, in fact, have double the dong. How do we know this? Well, I'm so glad you asked, because the answer is pretty clever. Some spoilers of the episode in question follow, so know that you've been warned.
During the finale of Star Trek: Discovery, an away team in the Mirror Universe heads down to the Klingon home world and visits an outpost run by the Orions. This outpost is mostly for trading, but traders like to have their fun, as well, so this area contains a few seedy spots that are basically rowdy strip clubs. When the Discovery crew is out and about in the area, they pass through one of these seedy parts of the outpost and see a Klingon man peeing on a wall outside. And, here's where the big penis revelation comes in, as he's abusing that poor wall with two full pee streams. Take a look at the screenshot below:
If you look to the right of where the Klingon's hand appears to be, you will see that there are definitely two waterfalls flowing from his double fount. Although, from what we got in the episode, it's not completely clear if these twin love darts are side by side or one on top of the other, but I suppose Discovery can tackle that genitalia mystery in another episode.
If you're wondering why, on Earth, anyone would question the number of maypoles on a Klingon, you can blame Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was during the run of that series that we learned that Klingons excelled at battle because they have doubles of major organs. To many fans, this meant that if they can have an eight-chambered heart and two livers, they could damn well have twin tinkle tubes.
And, in case you're thinking that, in spite of the photographic evidence, this is really in the imagination of crazed Star Trek fans, you'd be wrong. Star Trek: Discovery writers Bo Yeon Kim and Erika Lippoldt appeared on The Alpha Quadrant webcast recently and confirmed that the writers, and episode director Akiva Goldsman, dediced to finally make this happen. According to Yeon Kim:
That was an ongoing writers' room debate. According to canon, Klingons have two organs, they have two of everything, right? So we had this debate. When we say two of everything, does that include the penis? I think this was something that [director Akiva Goldsman] really liked the notion of. He just kept joking, 'Klingons have two dicks, Klingons have two dicks.' And then he finally went ahead and showed it on television.
Of course, this does raise more questions than it answers. Aside from placement of said fun sticks, the big query now is, do female Klingons also have double sex organs? Do they use both for everything? Or, is one for business (peeing/trying to procreate) and the other pleasure? For that matter, if they do divide and conquer with dick duties, how do they decide which penis gets what job? I mean, really, I could go on. But, I'm starting to feel rather silly, so I won't.
Star Trek: Discovery and the double dangled Klingons of Season 1 can be seen on CBS All Access, with the new season set to begin filming this spring. For more of what you can watch in the coming weeks, check out our midseason premiere guide.
