Warning! The following contains spoilers for the 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? episode "Ultimatums And Ugly Truths." Read at your own risk!
The latest episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? was a tense one for Andrei Castravet and Libby Potthast Castravet, with tempers flared as the couple tried to plan out their second wedding in Moldova. Once the two began cursing and continuing past arbitrary arguments about whose culture is "better," fans began taking sides on social media as per usual. Here's my question, though: is either Andrei or Libby right in this situation?
Don't get me wrong, I can sympathize with viewers that automatically wanted to call out Andrei. All season so far, 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? has been filled with Andrei preaching about traditional family values and how Libby should adhere to them out of respect for his own upbringing. At the same time, Andrei never wants to acknowledge that in these traditional relationships, he embraces outdated concepts such as the male being the financial breadwinner in any given coupling. Currently, though, Libby is the only one working, which is something her defenders are quick to bring up online.
Not even Andrei's Moldovan friends were tolerating his talk about putting his wife in his place, given his position, though it isn't like they were all super-supportive of Libby calling him out on it, either. There's certainly a sense that she's a little too outspoken for the tastes of Andrei's family, even if they don't completely understand what she's saying all the time.
Andrei is unquestionably wrong for his more blatant misogynistic behavior, but that doesn't necessarily justify Libby's own behavior while abroad. She has been taken aback by so much that is happening, to the point that audiences have to wonder just how much she's learned about Andrei's culture and his way of living. If Libby wanted solely to partake in a marriage that only embraced American customs, it may not have been the best idea to marry a Moldovan man.
While I'm not defending Andrei's behavior or beliefs, Libby certainly never misses an opportunity to antagonistically point out how Moldovan life pales in comparison to what she's accustomed to in America. It's the kind of honesty I'd assume a spouse would want to avoid when visiting relatives she rarely sees. Yet it almost feels like Libby is aiming to build up some major potential conflicts at her follow-up wedding. What was the point in having Andrei tell his parents that Libby's parents like new things and may not like it in Moldova? It just seemed like such a purposefully weird response to what appeared to be a throwaway question to make conversation on the mom's part.
My take is that Libby and Andrei are both in the wrong, but for entirely different reasons. Libby isn't the token winner here just because Andrei is misogynistic, and Andrei isn't right just because Libby often looks down her nose at Moldovan culture, and also married a man that her family doesn't care for, which is not uncommon on this show. (For what it's worth, Libby's family is just as wrong as everyone else in this situation, but 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? isn't really about them.) Libby and Andrei can both be wrong in this situation, just like any other couple on TV and in the real world. But you can't stop viewers from trying to declare a winner regardless.
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