I don't believe that anyone will so much as bat an eyelash if I proclaim loudly and proudly, right here, that 2020 has been an (expletive deleted) mess. Everything is topsy-turvy, but even amid this chaos there are some things we can still totally count on. Luckily for all of us, one of those things is that people will wonder about the condition of any number of fictional characters' genitalia. I know, right? Isn't it good to realize you're not alone?! One such fictional character, Vision, is coming to Disney+ soon, and while star Paul Bettany knows that fans won't get to see Vision's penis is WandaVision, he has shared some details about said member.
And, when I say "member," I do mean Vision's actual member, because fans have lots of questions about it. So, when Paul Bettany sat down recently to chat with Stir Crazy, he was directly asked whether or not those of us who tune in to WandaVision could expect to finally see Vision's full android anatomy. There's been some debate, apparently, about whether or not Wanda Maximoff's fallen boyfriend is a total Ken Doll. Here's what Bettany had to say regarding all of this dong doubt:
Well, here's the thing...No. There is no nudity, so to speak. But - these questions - I think people can answer this question for themselves, in that Vision - whether he does or doesn't [have genitalia] - can change his density. So, there's that.
Wow. Alright, you guys. If this doesn't make total sense to you, here's what I think Paul Bettany is trying to tell us, while staying within the bounds of family-friendly, PG-13 entertainment. Not only does Vision, indeed, have man bits suitable enough for Scarlet Witch to have successfully enjoyed her time with the J.A.R.V.I.S. / Ultron hybrid in a vibranium body, but, and this is the real key: it's really heavy. Or, at least it can be, should Vision decide that that would be more apropos, based on the situation he finds himself in.
Some of this interest is, I'm sure, due to the very obvious inclusion of superhero schlong in a very different show not that long ago: HBO's Watchmen. Doctor Manhattan was portrayed as being...very gifted in this area, as noted even by Bettany, when he referred to the hero's manhood as being "the size of Manhattan" and "a fantastic example." So, truly, we can't fault any of you for letting your minds rest upon this very specific WandaVision query.
Of course, the other, way more obvious, thing which has probably led to all this questioning is probably Vision's "birth" scene in Avengers: Age of Ultron, which came out in 2015. As with all of us, our brightly-hued friend was born without a stitch of clothing upon his lean form, and (for several seconds) we saw him move about in his birthday suit, without any clear indication (possibly save for one very small one) that he had manly gifts about his physical person. Let's take a gander, shall we? You know, just for a refresher...
OK! Did you see what I saw? While there was all this confusion and activity after Vision was brought to life, at about thirty-two seconds into the video, Scarlet Witch gave us a, possibly telling, intake of breath. Now, I'm not quite sure what angle she had of Vision as he stood up right there, but if she was staring down the goal post...Well, a lady knows when another lady has seen something she likes, and Scarlet was giving us that all day in just that one second of screen time.
Now, assuming Vision does have the endowment of which we have been speaking, Paul Bettany was glad to clear up yet another detail. When asked what color said characteristic would sport, Bettany happily said:
He's purple!
There you have it folks. I really do hope everything is cleared up for you now, and that you'll be better able to rest at night and prepare for the arrival of WandaVision on Disney+, on January 15, with these willy worries now resolved.
For more on what to watch in the coming weeks, check out our guide to fall TV, and see what's coming in the new year!
