Warning! The following contains spoilers from the 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way episode "Eat, Play, Lie." Watch it with a Max subscription, and read at your own risk!
As 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way continues James and Meitalia Solis' time in Indonesia, she's finally addressing the elephant in the room, revealing that a friend told her he expressed doubts about having children. Meitalia had no idea, and after seeing that awkward conversation unfold, we learned at least one reason Meitalia wanted children so badly, but I can't say it's the best argument for becoming a parent.
As I continued to be exhausted with James' inability to address serious issues, Meitalia finally put him on the spot for wanting to know why he told their friend Adele he wasn't sure about wanting to have kids. He tried to squirm out of the conversation, but ultimately gave some valid points, and it may be best for them to hold off after Meitalia shared her explanation.
Meitalia Said Having Children Helps Strengthen A Marriage
Meitalia was disappointed to hear James may not want to have children, but for reasons beyond the fact that she innately wanted to raise a child. She told James she believed that the act of having children helped strengthen a couple's marriage, and believes that would help her feel more comfortable and less worried about the state of their relationship.
I can't be the only 90 Day Fiancé viewer who sees that as a non-ideal basis for having a child. Raising a baby is extremely hard work for new parents that are perfect matches, so it's that much more of a challenge for couples who are having doubts and trouble enduring.
If Meitalia is questioning her marital bond two years in, and wants to feel more secure in it, having a child does not feel like the first direction they should take. Many married 90 Day couples have split after having children, and while it's certainly possible, I can't say I've seen it save a marriage in this franchise.
James Had Valid Reasons For Holding Off On Children
After dodging the question, James eventually laid his worries about children out there for Meitalia. After rattling off fears about raising a child in the current state of the world, he talked about a more specific fear to their current situation. They're living in Indonesia and currently have no way to earn a sustainable living without relying on her parents for a home and work.
James has low job prospects in Indonesia, especially as someone who doesn't speak the language. It's pretty obvious at this point they'd both be more financially stable back in the United States, which Meitalia's sister more or less told her when she first broke the news about staying in Indonesia. Will a promise for children ultimately lead Meitalia to abandon the idea of living in her home country vs. the United States?
I don't know the answer, but I've written before that I'm skeptical they're fully committed to living in Indonesia. After all, James left the country without selling their car and kept mentioning that they needed to make payments for it. Why hold onto a car you'll never drive in Indonesia if you're planning to live there indefinitely?
Regardless of where they live, I think it's fair to say that James has fair reasons for being unsure about having children. I also want to point out that he only expressed uncertainty about having children and didn't say straight up that he didn't want children. It's so wild this whole drama has escalated to this level, and feels like they need to be better at communicating so that these issues don't frequently crop up.
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs on TLC on Mondays at 8:00 p.m. ET. Be sure to check out some of the other shows on the 2024 TV schedule because the fall television season is fast approaching and loaded with great shows.
