Last week, we were introduced to twenty new contestants, who showed up at the Ranch for a unique opportunity to not only lose weight but regain control of their lives. Sadly, one team (the Aqua Team) was sent home immediately with the challenge that they had four weeks to lose 50 pounds collectively in order to get back in the game. As for the remaining teams, well, they didn’t remain teams for long: all nine sets of two were officially split up, with one half of each team joining Bob’s Black Team and the other half joining Dolvett’s Red Team. Dolvett got no small measure of satisfaction when his squad defeated Bob’s in the first weigh-in, and it was father-of-nine Ben that volunteered to go home first.
What I’ve always liked about The Biggest Loser is that it’s different from every other reality competition. In Category 1, you have shows where individuals can showcase any of a vast array of talents in order to get “discovered” or get a huge bump in their careers in their chosen field, be it modeling, singing, dancing, cooking, designing, whatever. In Category 2, you have shows where the contestants’ professions have no bearing on the setting of the show, where the ultimate prize is simply money, or finding true love, or both. And while I suppose you could make the case that The Biggest Loser belongs in this category because of the various prizes the winners ultimately receive, the real prize, in the case of most of the contestants, is simply to fix what is broken inside them. For them, the $250,000 is merely a source of motivation, a symbol that the goal they set for themselves by coming on the show has been reached.
You’ll notice I said “most”. Because in every field of contestants, there’s always a handful that are there for the competition aspect more than the others. These are the ones that are not above manipulation, coercion or what-have-you to achieve victory. People like this are generally not very popular, either with the trainers or their fellow contestants, and it’s rare they make it all the way to the end. And since we got the introductions out of the way last week, I’m hoping, as the trainers begin to crack through the metaphorical shells the contestants have spent a lifetime building around themselves, we’ll discover who of this group are here for the right reasons and who aren’t. Because there’s always at least one.
The theme for this season is “No Excuses”, so it would seem the creators compiled a list of the most common excuses for poor diet and no exercise, and will be tackling those topics one week at a time. The excuse du jour for this episode was “I don’t know how to eat healthy”. This is the kind of education that the contestants get, as the Ranch’s fridges and larders are stocked with only the best, healthiest foods. The contestants were also taken by the show’s leading nutritionist, Rachel Beller, to a local supermarket, where she lectured them – and us – on which products to buy and which ones to avoid. (Rachel even traveled to Chicago to help school the Aqua Team on the same basics, which was a really awesome move by the show.)
This recap should be educational as well as informative, so here are a few things I did not know, and maybe you didn’t either: Did you know that one package of supermarket sushi has more carbs than five slices of white bread? For a healthy lunch, you can’t beat a good old turkey sandwich on wheat bread with lettuce, tomato and a dab of mustard, which is less than 300 calories. On the other hand, one large frozen pizza contains over 2,000 calories, which is more than the average person needs in an entire day.
This week’s challenges/incentives: Winning the weigh-in is always the teams’ #1 incentive, because winning means sticking around one more week. Alison dropped an additional bonus right at the onset of the episode, telling them all that whichever person from the winning team dropped the highest percentage would be able to offer immunity to one person from the losing team, which is nice, if not predictable… One would think that whoever wins that prize would automatically give it to the former teammate they arrived with. The only exceptions to this would be Allen (whose brother Ben went home last week) or the former Pink Team, Emily and Kim, who were complete strangers coming in).
It would seem that some of Survivor’s challenge-creators have migrated to The Biggest Loser, as evidenced by the fact that this makes two weeks in a row that the challenge has involved assembling some kind of puzzle. The two teams had to push a huge crank-wheel and retrieve 24 puzzle pieces, which would then be assembled into a group team photo. It turned out to be the closest race in the show’s history, as the Black Team took the win by about one second. Yes, it was that close. As a prize, the Black Team each won six free months of the Biggest Loser meal plan, which will be delivered right to their homes. A truly great prize, because it means no grocery shopping for half a year!
From last week’s previews, I knew there would be a huge gamble taken by one team, and it came early in the form of a poker challenge. Two members from each team were called upon to bid what percentage of weight loss their entire teams would combine for, with each poker chip representing a tenth of a percent. Whichever team bid the most would then have to actually lose that percentage, with the reward being a five-pound advantage. Of course, overbidding would result in a five-pound detriment. The Red Team opened with a bid of 3.8%, a bid that the Black Team was not willing to match. So right away, Dolvett had the task of making sure that the Red Team combined to lose at least 94 pounds, or they would surely be screwed.
I had to double-take. Huh? That was a gutsy move… don’t these people know that Week Two always produces small numbers? Yeah, I know that last week’s totals weren’t outrageously high, but oy vey, that is a ton of pressure. I hate using food metaphors when recapping this show, but I was convinced that they had bit off more than they could chew. Joe from the Black Team shares my mindset, figuring that all the pressure would be on the Red Team to pull off their ballsy bet. Thing is, if the Red Team actually managed to achieve that number, a five-pound advantage would probably be unnecessary.
It was Kim and Kimmy that threw down the gauntlet for the Red Team, and needless to say, not all of their teammates shared their optimism. Allen, Mark and Mike could only shake their heads and make “what were they thinking faces”, and I’m totally with them there. Even Dolvett, the man who never backs down from a challenge, actually freaked out a little bit. But the damage is done: the Red Team went all-in on pocket sixes, and that’s that. And Kim and Kimmy are immediately on the hot seat if things go pear-shaped.
I always like it when Dr. Huizenga (aka “Dr. H”) drops by to confab with the contestants, because he’s a complete pro, dispensing bad news a congenially as possible. Joe and Mike, two brothers who live on opposite coasts, have very similar habits, and can blame a lot of those habits on their father, who was not only a huge eater but a chain smoker, and Mike, wanting to be like dear old dad, took up both those habits… at twelve years old. He has since switched to smokeless tobacco, which is not as offensive but still just as dangerous, as they can cause mouth cancer and are often laden with huge amounts of sugar to gloss over the nasty taste. Dear old Dad died at 51 of colon cancer, and Mike and Joe are going right down the same road.
It’s still a little early to determine who this season’s “gamers” are, but I have definitely formed opinions on a few of them. I am the least fond of Kim, the former wrestler who is uber-competitive and hates losing with a passion, and who seems to think overconfidence is a virtue. Her partner in crime, Kimmy, didn’t get on my good side by going along with Kim’s stupid show of gamesmanship. On the opposite side, the Black Team’s Megan displayed a penchant for trash-talking. And I realize that chest-thumping and one-upmanship is a part of sports and competition, but that doesn’t mean I approve of it. I also don’t like the weekly stare-down going on between Bob and Dolvett, who are just as competitive but, as trainers and fixtures on the show, are supposed to be above that kind of thing.
There are several people I have grown to like, thank goodness. It’s interesting that there are only three men on the Ranch under the age of 40, and all three are on the Black Team. Joe proved that despite the bad choices he’s made in life, he still has a wily intelligence and a wry wit to go with it, which is always a winning combination. Jeremy is the jolly kid of the season, the one with the electric smile that you can’t help but like. He also fancies himself a staunch admirer of the fairer sex, and I hope that by the end of the season, he’s got the body to match his bravado (which could be just a front, but I doubt it). The youngest male, Chism, is also a really good guy, and it’s a good thing that he’s learning how to turn his life around while he’s still a teenager.
Two people that truly dislike each other are Conda and Mike, and it’s unfortunate they were teammates. I have to take Conda’s side, because Mike is the kind of contestant that rubs everyone the wrong way: he doesn’t try as hard, he is a wellspring of excuses, and he’s just not that likeable to begin with. I can feel for the guy, given his three-headed addictions of food, alcohol (yes, he’s an alcoholic too) and tobacco, but my sympathy has limits.
Here are the results of the weigh-in:
Black Team (Bob) Christine - lost 6 pounds (-14 total), -2.59%, now stands at 226.
Joe - lost 8 pounds (-23 total), -2.34%, now stands at 334.
Chism - lost 8 pounds (-20 total), -2.29%, now stands at 341.
Cassandra - lost 5 pounds (-19 total), -2.22%, now stands at 220.
Jeremy - lost 7 pounds (-20 total), -1.86%, now stands at 369.
Gail - lost 5 pounds (-14 total), -1.60%, now stands at 308.
Megan - lost 4 pounds (-11 total), -1.59%, now stands at 248.
Emily - lost 4 pounds (-14 total), -1.57%, now stands at 250.
Total - 47 pounds lost (-2.00%).
Adjusted Percentage: -2.22%
Red Team (Dolvett)
Mark - lost 8 pounds (-17 total), -2.84%, now stands at 274.
Conda - lost 7 pounds (-16 total), -2.46%, now stands at 278.
Buddy - lost 9 pounds (-31 total), -2.36%, now stands at 372.
Nancy - lost 5 pounds (-10 total), -2.36%, now stands at 207.
Mike - lost 7 pounds (-20 total), -2.03%, now stands at 338.
Kimmy - lost 4 pounds (-13 total), -1.90%, now stands at 206.
Roy - lost 5 pounds (-19 total), -1.71%, now stands at 287.
Lauren - lost 4 pounds (-13 total), -1.69%, now stands at 233.
Kim - lost 3 pounds (-16 total), -1.25%, now stands at 236.
Total - 52 pounds lost (-2.09%).
So even if the Red Team had won the bidding with 2.2% instead of the completely-unattainable 3.8% they ended up bidding, they still would have lost. And as close as the teams are this season, the five-pound advantage made all the difference for the Black Team, who wins a weigh-in they would have lost without said advantage.
Kudos. The numbers are down this year from seasons past, and no one broke through a significant barrier this week, so I can’t give out any kudos this week.
Elimination. Mark won immunity for his efforts, and Christine naturally gave immunity to her husband Roy, so I figured Kim or Kimmy would be the one going home. But it would seem that Mike’s negative attitude was even worse than the brief footage of him slacking off showed us, and he was unanimously sent home. I would have been happy with him or Kim leaving, but Mike was the most negative influence there, so it’s probably best for all that he depart.
Update. To his credit, right before leaving, Mike vowed to his teammates that he would give up tobacco. Since returning home, he’s taken up boxing to work out his anger issues, and has dropped an additional 36 pounds. And through the combination of patches and acupuncture, he has started to take the necessary steps to kick nicotine as well. I’m sure everyone is happy to hear that.
Next week: Drama. And then more drama. See you then.
