Last week, the Red Team’s Kim and Kimmy, in a game of Biggest Loser poker, bet that her team could combine to lose over 94 pounds. In Week Two. Which, if you’ve ever seen the show before, is about as outrageous a goal as you could have. Despite Dolvett’s best efforts, the Red Team could only lose 52 pounds between them, and it was Mike, who had successfully alienated himself from everyone else on his team, who was sent home.
The early drama this week centered on Joe, who was looking forward to getting to know Mike while taking this journey together, as they grew up apart and now live on opposite coasts. First, the two of them were put on different teams (which sucks), and then Mike was voted out (which sucks more). For a while, it seemed like he was actually going to take Jeremy’s advice… but it was not to be. The night after Mike went home, Joe packed his bag and bid the Ranch adieu. Despite everyone else’s attempts to talk him out of leaving, Joe said simply that being away from his family was just too much for him to bear, and Mike’s departure was “the final nail in the coffin”.
I’m of mixed feelings about this. Granted, I’ve never spent that much time away from my family, but it’s only Week Three, for goodness sake. I respect a man who is so utterly devoted to his family, but to leave your teammates in the lurch is not a good thing. Not to mention the fact that, to be blunt, just how many people in America would give their eyeteeth to have the same opportunity that Joe is so blithely dismissing? And it’s worth mentioning that Joe left in the middle of the evening, presumably after Bob had left the Ranch for the day, so he didn’t even get a chance to put his two cents in as well. Sigh. I really, REALLY hope that Joe can get it done on his own, and doesn’t slough off appearing at the finale too.
This week, the excuse that the show is tackling is “I Don’t Have Time To Eat Healthy.” And this is a big one… many people have jobs, or kids to take care of, and end up taking the easy way out by simply picking up fast food. I know that as of last year, Subway has more locations in the United States than McDonalds does, and that is a damn good sign. (I eat at Subway about 4-5 times a week, as opposed to only once at McDonalds… not long ago, the reverse was true.)
This week’s challenges/incentives: it was a temptation challenge right out of the gate this week, and the temptation was a buffet’s worth of Chinese food. Alison tells us that there are over 41,000 Chinese restaurants in the U.S., which is more locations than McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s combined. You don’t think of Chinese food being as bad for you as fast-food burgers, but believe me, in some ways, it’s actually worse. Did you know that there is as much sodium in one teaspoon of soy sauce as in a Double Whopper? Yikes.
Anyway, the challenge this week is that instead of doing a group team weigh-in this week, they would be going head-to-head. One Black Team member would square off against one Red Team member, with the contestant losing the greatest percentage earning a point. Whoever won the Temptation Challenge would not only get to pick the matchups but earn a two-pound advantage, which that person could either keep both pounds for themselves or donate either one or both pounds to teammates. To win? Simply eat the most calories.
I, like the trainers, hate these kinds of challenges. Not only are they counterproductive, but they accentuate gamesmanship more than the lifestyle change they are there for. It would have been easy for all the contestants to simply say “No thanks,” but Alison threatened that if that were to happen, no one would get the two pounds and everyone would automatically match up against their loved one. Ooh. Not cool, show. The Red Team wasn’t in a gambling mood this week, and decided to abstain anyway. After much consternation, Cassandra downs two 30-calorie fortune cookies and ends up winning the right to choose the matchups, which are outlined in the numbers below.
Cassandra originally had Nancy paired off against Joe, but since Joe left, the Red Team automatically got the point from that matchup. (Guess Joe won’t be getting any thank-you cards from his teammates, huh?) Cassandra won a two-pound advantage, so she decided to allot one pound each to Megan and Gail. Here are the results of the weigh-in:
Joe (Black) - forfeited
Nancy (Red) - lost 2 pounds (-12 total), -2.97%, now stands at 205.
Winner: Red
Emily (Black) - lost 6 pounds (-20 total), -2.40%, now stands at 244.
Roy (Red) - lost 9 pounds (-28 total), -3.14%, now stands at 278.
Winner: Red
Jeremy (Black) - lost 11 pounds (-31 total), -2.98%, now stands at 358.
Lauren (Red) - lost 3 pounds (-16 total), -1.29%, now stands at 230.
Winner: Black
Chism (Black) - lost 9 pounds (-29 total), -2.64%, now stands at 332.
Kim (Red) - lost 6 pounds (-22 total), -2.54%, now stands at 230.
Winner: Black (close one!)
Christine (Black) - lost 4 pounds (-18 total), -1.77%, now stands at 222.
Mark (Red) - lost 8 pounds (-25 total), -2.92%, now stands at 266.
Winner: Red
Megan (Black) - lost 8 (+1) pounds (-17 total), -3.63%, now stands at 240.
Buddy (Red) - lost 9 pounds (-40 total), -2.42%, now stands at 363.
Winner: Black
Gail (Black) - lost 6 pounds (+1) (-20 total), -2.27%, now stands at 302.
Kimmy (Red) - lost 3 pounds (-16 total), -1.46%, now stands at 203.
Winner: Black
Cassandra (Black) - lost 8 pounds (-27 total), -3.64%, now stands at 212.
Conda (Red) - lost 3 pounds (-19 total), -1.08%, now stands at 275.
Winner: Black
FINAL TALLY: Black Team wins, 5-3.
You got to hand it to Bob, who sufficiently motivated his team to win five of the seven viable matchups, perhaps the most surprising being Megan’s victory over Buddy, the percentage leader from the Red Team. I’m all for equanimity, and it would have sucked for the Black Team to send someone home on top of losing Joe this week. As it stands, the teams will now be even at seven members each. I am assuming that the Aqua Team, who are scheduled to return next week, should they have succeeded in their mission to lose 50 pounds at home, will be split up like all the other teams were. Funny that the two one-pound advantages didn’t mean a thing, as both Megan and Gail would have won their head-to-heads anyway.
I mentioned last week that I like Jeremy, and my opinion of him has increased tenfold since then. At 22 years old, he took it upon himself to try to reassure Joe that he’s on the Ranch for a reason, and that despite missing his small children, he has to tough it out. Too bad those pleas evidently fell on deaf ears. And the more I grow to like Jeremy, the more my opinion of his sister Conda is going in the opposite direction. I didn’t like the flap she had with Mike last week, and while I wasn’t Mike’s biggest fan, she could have handled herself much better. Mike’s departure hasn’t done anything for her temperament. She’s a complainer, and is always the first to point out any infraction another person may make. And my GOD, is she a sore loser. Cassandra kicked her ass in every way this week, and Conda’s reaction was to get really catty. Just can’t stand her.
I find myself admiring Emily, and am thankful that she did not end up in a duet with Kim like they were at the start of the season. Though they are both ex-athletes and are both fiercely competitive, they are completely different people. While Kim is a lot more in-your-face, full of braggadocio (and even got nasty with poor Chism after losing the weigh-in to him, which is just inexcusable), Emily is more sedate, although it’s hard to see her attempt to be her old Olympic self and fail at it. I like Cassandra too, especially because she taught Conda a lesson, and chose not to gloat about it.
Kudos. To Cassandra, for losing the highest percentage for the second time this season; to Roy, for leading his team in percentage lost this week, and to the whole Black Team, for reasons stated above. No major milestones this week, but Kimmy, Nancy and Gail will hopefully be decreasing the first digit in their weight by one next week.
Elimination. Obviously, I wanted either Kim or Conda to go home, and the votes were all over the place. Kim and Nancy each voted for each other, Lauren also voted for Nancy, and so did Roy. Everyone else, however, voted for Lauren, their reason being that Lauren has the fewest distractions waiting for her at home to stop her achieving her goals there. Well, darn. Lauren got virtually no face time in three episodes, so we never really got to know her. She seemed nice, certainly a lot nicer than some of her teammates.
Standings. Cassandra becomes the first contestant to achieve double-digits, leading the pack with 11.30% lost. Behind her is Buddy (9.93%), Roy (9.15%), Kim (8.73%) and Mark (8.59%) who, ironically, are all on the Red Team.
Update. Dolvett had only begun to scratch the surface in bringing the athlete out of Lauren, but she discovered it at home. In the months since her departure, she has dropped an additional 37 pounds and now stands at a much-better-looking 193. She set out to run a half-marathon in under three hours, and she did just that. Well done, Lauren!
Next week: Conda continues to be bitchy, recalcitrant, and uncooperative. Even Jeremy looks like he wants to change his last name. Can’t wait.
