Now that I have a full season’s experience of recapping Survivor and The Amazing Race under my belt, I have discovered that recapping reality TV, like all things, is a learning process. However, it’s quite obvious to me that I can’t take the same approach to recapping The Biggest Loser. Yes, there are similarities, most notably that players are eliminated en route to a three person/team finale. Yes, all contestants are asked to employ strategy to get to the end, and to cop that all-important cash prize. But there, the similarities end. In The Biggest Loser, the end result is, really, all that matters. Rather than do a blow-by-blow account of the episode, I will go team by team, revealing any relevant breakthroughs, strategies, alliances or drama that they were involved in. I will grade each team (or even, perhaps, each individual) by how I feel they are in terms of overall strength: how serious they are about changing their ways, whether they are more focused on their health and well-being as opposed to being true “game players”, and, of course, how well they do on the scale. (Some of these variables won’t become evident until we get further in the season, so bear with me.)
Also, if you read my season preview last week or watched last season’s finale, you’ll know that in addition to the world-famous Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels, there are two brand-new trainers that contestants will have the opportunity to choose, sight unseen. Any contestant that chooses either of these new trainers will be working out in a separate facility miles away from “The Ranch” (specifically, Fitness Ridge in Malibu, CA), and not only THAT, whoever takes that leap of faith will enjoy four full weeks of immunity. Pretty big incentive, if you ask me.
The right to pick which training duo, as it turned out, was decided through a challenge; each team had to combine to run a 5K on a treadmill. The order they finished in determined the pecking order for choosing, and that order was: Yellow, Gray, Aqua, Green, Brown, Purple, Pink, Red, Orange, Blue, and Black.
Over the course of the episode, we are shown some footage of the teams that ended up with the mystery trainers, and that footage also included some voiceover introductions by the trainers themselves… however, their faces were never shown to us, and their names were never revealed, so it would seem that the show is going to dangle this carrot in front of our faces for a while longer, perhaps even the full four weeks. What we do know is that the male trainer is a martial arts enthusiast and the female trainer is a two-time Golden Gloves winner. And considering that the five teams that chose to train with them lost a combined total of 238 pounds in one week, I’d say that their credentials as trainers are already self-evident. The teams that ended up with the mystery trainers were:
Brown Team (Ken and Austin) - This team reminds me a lot of Ron and Mike from a couple of seasons ago, and they seem like nice people, so I hope they go as far. Ken: Starting Weight (SW) = 377. Weigh-In Weight (WIW) = 353. Net = -24. Austin: SW = 396. WIW = 374. Net = -22. Team Net Loss (TNL) = -46 (5.95%).
Gray Team (Moses and Kaylee) - Following in the footsteps Sione/Felipe and Sam/Koli, the Gray Team is of Tongan descent, a culture that perpetuates obesity and needs to change. They vow to do even better than their forebears, and I wish them the best of luck. Kaylee may be the girl to watch this season, judging by the way she tore up the 5K challenge. Moses: SW = 440. WIW = 399. Net = -41. (Wow. That’s a record.) Kaylee: SW = 233. WIW = 216. Net = -17. TNL = -58 (8.62%).
Yellow Team (Rulon and Justin) - Obviously, a lot will be made of the fact that Rulon is an ex-Olympian, and is easily the closest thing to a celebrity among the contestants. Will that earn him respect? (Hint: just ask Jimmy Johnson.) Justin skirts the line between confident and obnoxious; will have to keep tabs on that. Rulon: SW = 474. WIW = 442. Net = -32. Justin: SW = 365. WIW = 338. Net = -27. TNL: -59 (7.03%).
Red Team (Q and Larialmy) - This team didn’t get much face-time, so I wasn’t able to get a good read on them yet. They do seem like a very loving couple, who desperately want to lose their weight so they can start a family, a truly noble goal. Q: SW = 437. WIW = 407. Net = -30. Larialmy: SW = 301. WIW = 283. Net: -18. TNL = -48 (6.50%).
Pink Team (Deni and Sarah) - It’s always a girl/girl duo that gets pink, and they are almost always contenders. I really feel for Sarah, whose weight has caused her multiple miscarriages. You just know that if they fall below the line, Mom will throw herself on the grenade for Sarah. I probably would too. Deni: SW = 256. WIW = 243. Net = -13. Sarah: SW = 261. WIW = 247. Net = -14. TNL = -27 (5.22%).
Because of this season’s big “twist”, it would seem that teams will not be voted off in their entirety… or at least, not yet. But the numbers don’t lie: four of the twelve people being trained by Bob and Jillian (who, by the way, didn’t even know about the new trainers) will be off the show one month from now. The six teams who carry the onus of having to continually earn their spot on The Ranch are:
Green Team (Jay and Jennifer) - Jay’s kind of the quiet one, but Jennifer has definitely got some spunk. She calls herself “The Hulk” when she gets a full head of steam (wonder if that’s why the show put her in Green?), and she sure screams like The Hulk. Jay: SW = 400. WIW = 374. Net = -26. Jennifer: SW = 278. WIW = 258. Net = -20. TNL = -46 (6.78%).
Black Team (Dan and Don) - Every season has its share of tragic stories, and both of these twin brothers have got a lot of emotional baggage with them; Dan’s son died of an overdose six years before, and Don’s son just recently disowned him because of his weight problem. Maybe that doesn’t quite stack up against the lady who lost her whole family to a drunk driver, but that’s pretty sad. Dan: SW = 287. WIW = 268. Net = -19. Don: SW = 309. WIW = 288. Net = -21. TNL: -40 (6.71%).
Purple Team (Hannah and Olivia) - This is another team that I also can’t quite get a bead on. I know Olivia is an opera singer (insert your favorite “fat lady sings” joke, you know you want to), but beyond their gung-ho attitude, I sense that something dark lies beneath the surface. We’ll find out in due course. Hannah: SW = 248. WIW = 232. Net = -16. Olivia: SW = 261. WIW = 245. Net = -16. TNL = -32 (6.29%).
Aqua (formerly “Light Blue”) Team (Marci and Courtney) - Courtney revealed to us that she and Bob met just over a year ago and, only two years before, at a weight of 425. That means she lost over 100 pounds to get to 323. She’s got a long way to go, but this little factoid tells me that since she’s already proven she can lose weight at home, there’s no reason for the other contestants to keep her around. Once she falls below the yellow line, she’s gone, I fear. But that may not happen any time soon, as she seem to be channeling Tara, probably the most feared female contestant ever. Marci: SW = 238. WIW = 224. Net = -14. Courtney: SW = 323. WIW = 308. Net = -15. TNL = -29 (5.17%).
Blue Team (Jesse and Arthur) - Obviously, Arthur is a huge threat because he’s the biggest. He’s also got the highest mountain to climb, when you consider he needs to lose 200 pounds just to get to 300 (and he used to be at 646, which is amazing given that he was once an All-American football player and wrestler). Arthur got the most face-time this week, including the one-on-one from sweet Bob, who tells him that he can’t let up. Arthur is basically in the same boat as Michael from last year… if he falls into danger, he can play the sympathy card to would-be voters. Of course, Michael ended up winning, didn’t he? Jesse: SW = 293. WIW = 286. Net = -7. Arthur: SW = 507. WIW = 476. Net: -31. TNL = -38 (4.75%).
Below the Yellow Line
Orange Team (Ana and Irene) - Ironically, Orange was the first of three teams that didn’t get to pick their trainers, and had they finished one spot ahead of the Red Team, they would have chosen a month of immunity. Ana definitely had the hardest time; her arthritic knees made treadmill-walking extremely difficult. She was the only female contestant not to hit double digits, and not surprisingly, she and Irene ended up with the lowest percentage. Ana: SW = 255. WIW = 246. Net: -9. Irene: SW = 255. WIW = 242. Net = -13. TNL = -22 (4.31%).
Keep in mind, dear readers, that Week One almost always features huge drops by everyone. This is probably because most of the weight they lose is the water their bodies retain and which they proceed to sweat out over the course of their first week. After that comes the fat, and that means smaller numbers.
Elimination. I don’t know if any pre-vote pleas were made, but I would expect that Ana told everyone else to keep her daughter there and send her home, as that is what usually happens when a parent/child team faces elimination. So though the Purple team cast their vote for Irene, the Aqua, Green, and Blue teams went the other way, and Ana was indeed the first one sent packing. However, you’ll be glad to know that in her post-show update, she continued to lose the weight, and has lost a total of 50 pounds. And not only that, the excess weight that prevented her from fulfilling her postal carrier duties and had her relegated to desk duty is now a thing of the past, and she has resumed her route. She’s also taken up salsa dancing. Way to go, Ana!
Back here next week. Don’t forget to catch my last few recaps of Medium as that show approaches its swan song.
