Two weeks ago, ten people decided to accept the offer of four weeks of immunity with the proviso that they be trained by two completely unknown trainers. And in Week One, those ten people kicked the twelve that elected to remain with Bob and Jillian in their chubby cabooses. Last week, battle lines were drawn, as the Unknowns double-dog-dared the Ranchers to beat them, and the eleven that remained proceeded to do just that. As a result, none of the eleven contestants in danger of elimination was sent home.
It is now Week Three, and you can bet that THAT particular challenge will not be given again; after all there are still seventeen players than need to be eliminated before the season finale. This is also the week that we finally get to have names and faces to put to the thus-far-strategically-silhouetted mystery trainers… not that I expect it will be that big a bomb to drop: it’s highly doubtful that I will have ever heard of them before, and if anyone reading this has, well, more power to you.
So, now that I’ve baited the hook, here is a little info on the new trainers:
Cara Castronuova - As it has already been revealed, she is a two-time Golden Gloves champion, and she uses boxing as her primary training method. She is revealed to also having been orphaned at a very young age. Though my very-limited research has not been able to ascertain if she is actually a certified trainer, she does have her very own IMDb page.
Brett Hoebel (pronounced “ho-BELL”) - He has previously appeared on the Discovery Channel show Fit Family and has also appeared on The View, Good Morning America and The Today Show. He also created a fitness program called RevAbs, which combine martial arts like Afro-Brazilian Capoeira and Muay Thai kickboxing with Westernized strength training. He’s also premed and professes to know a lot about anatomy. (Sure the ladies love that…)
So, no that THAT bit o’ drama is over, and now that the trainers no longer need to hide behind creative editing, perhaps the Unknowns will get a little more face time. And they do, as well as the first challenge since Week One that involved all the contestants competing simultaneously. Both camps are placed on opposite sides of a big black partition, and are told that one member of each group will be meeting face-to-face over a dinner cooked by TBL’s resident chef, Curtis Stone. The two players who win will also be competing against each other for a two-pound advantage.
The challenge itself is fairly simple, but on the silly side (up): all the contestants have to balance an egg on top of a small, upside-down frying pan. The Unknowns then do something unexpected; all of them, except for Deni, about a minute into the challenge, launch their eggs over the partition where they land with a splat near the Ranchers, but it doesn’t seem to faze them. Hannah seems to want it badly because of her not-too-subtle crush on Curtis, but it ends up being Marci that wins. So it’s she and Deni, the two remaining moms with daughters on the ranch, who will vie for the two-pound advantage.
When Deni and Marci hook up with Curtis at the Four Seasons, it’s pretty congenial, which is what I expected given that these two ladies have a lot in common. The challenge is, after cooking and consuming a meal that they prepare with Chef Curtis, is to determine how many calories were in said meal. The meal consisted of a salad with baked squash and arugula, a pan-fried halibut with quinoa (no salt, no butter, and only a teaspoon of olive oil), and a poached pear dessert with a variety of other ingredients, including orange juice as a sweetener. Deni guessed 440 calories for the three dishes combined, but it was Marci’s guess of 480 that was closest to the overall count of 572. Marci therefore wins the two-pound advantage, which she and Courtney will get to use at the next weigh-in.
Let’s get on with what we learned about some of the teams this week:
Red Team (Q and Larialmy) - Q had two comparatively weak weigh-ins to start the season, and the Yellow Team called him out on it in front of everybody else. Q responded by explaining that he’s still looking for that internal “light switch”, the thing that will help him push through his knee pain and have a breakout week. Which I’m guessing happened this week, judging by the huge number he put up. Q was also informed by Dr. H just how bad his pre-show physical was: he has nearly 250 pounds of excess fat in his body, and has an “internal age” of 51, 27 years older than his actual age. This hit him especially hard.
Yellow Team (Rulon and Justin) - The Unknowns have been doing a lot of chest-thumping, and this team is responsible for most of it. I’m not sure I like that antagonistic approach. Rulon was told by Dr. H that his body is 40% fat, and Justin is 3% higher than that. Rulon has also apparently survived a motorcycle, snowmobile and plane crash, which is amazing (and remind me never to go anywhere with him, because I don’t like those odds). Justin’s “internal age” is 59, and seeing that brought him to tears.
Brown Team (Ken and Austin) - Sadly, Ken and Austin are not the only unhealthy ones in their family, which has been stricken with obesity, diabetes and multiple bypass surgeries. Austin is informed that he is on the road to having the same extensive medical problems that his father does, only much earlier. He is 20, and has higher blood pressure than his old man. Wow, that’s a wake-up call.
Pink Team (Sarah and Deni) - Dr. H reveals something shocking about Sarah: it is she, not Courtney, not Arthur, not Rulon – that has the highest percentage of body fat, a whopping 58%. A lot of this can be attributed to the fact that she has had nearly zero physical activity since a car accident several years ago. She is shocked by this news, however. Dr. H also informs her that because her metabolic rate is egregiously low, she will have to find a way to exercise 90 minutes a day, six days a week, for the rest of her life.
Gray Team (Moses and Kaylee) - Moses gets probably the scariest news: his risk of having a stroke within five years is nearly 50/50. His chances of getting Type A diabetes is 90%. And he has fifteen years left to live, tops. That is brutal. I am thankful that he’s dropped so much weight already, it really gives me hope.
Purple Team (Hannah and Olivia) - Turns out Hannah is yet another former athlete, whose Olympic aspirations (in volleyball) were cut short by an accident.
Black Team (Dan and Don) - Jillian pulled them out of the gym for a hike/talk, suspecting that their hearts may not be in it. Dan relates again how despair over his son’s death has affected his mindset, and Jillian responds by telling him that keeping his emotions and grief bottle up does far more harm than good. Of course, even Jillian couldn’t have predicted the disaster that befalls the twins this week. Read on.
And now, this week’s numbers:
The Unknowns (in order of %)
Q (Red) - lost 19 pounds, 4.52%, now stands at 401 (-36 overall).
Austin (Brown) - lost 15 pounds, 4.14%, now stands at 347 (-49 overall).
Deni (Pink) - lost 9 pounds, 3.86%, now stands at 224 (-32 overall).
Ken (Brown) - lost 13 pounds, 3.64%, now stands at 344 (-33 overall).
Sarah (Pink) - lost 8 pounds, 3.29%, now stands at 235 (-26 overall).
Justin (Yellow) - lost 10 pounds, 3.07%, now stands at 316 (-49 overall).
Moses (Gray) - lost 11 pounds, 2.84%, now stands at 376 (-64 overall).
Larialmy (Red) - lost 8 pounds, 2.83%, now stands at 275 (-26 overall).
Rulon (Yellow) - lost 10 pounds, 2.35%, now stands at 415 (-59 overall).
Kaylee (Gray) - lost 5 pounds, 2.34%, now stands at 209 (-24 overall).
So the ten Unknowns have combined to lose 398 pounds in three weeks, including 108 this week. My God, that is freakin’ phenomenal.
The Ranchers (in order of %)
Jay (Green) - lost 14 pounds, 3.85%, now stands at 350 (-50 overall).
Irene (Orange) - lost 8 pounds, 3.45%, now stands at 224 (-31 overall).
Jesse (Blue) - lost 9 pounds, 3.24%, now stands at 269 (-24 overall).
Jennifer (Green) - lost 8 pounds, 3.10%, now stands at 242 (-36 overall).
Marci (Aqua) - lost 6 pounds, 2.75%, now stands at 212 (-26 overall).
Hannah (Purple) - lost 6 pounds, 2.65%, now stands at 220 (-28 overall).
Olivia (Purple) - lost 6 pounds, 2.51%, now stands at 233 (-28 overall).
Courtney (Aqua) lost 7 pounds, 2.35%, now stands at 291 (-32 overall).
Arthur (Blue) - lost 4 pounds, 0.86%, now stands at 459 (-48 overall).
Below the Yellow Line:
Don (Black) - gained 9 pounds, +3.21%, now stands at 289 (-20 overall).
Dan (Black) - gained 9 pounds, +3.42%, now stands at 272 (-15 overall).
No, that is not a typo. The twin-cop Black Team both gained – as in put on – nine pounds each. As you can imagine, this caused a huge uproar at the weigh-in. Bob and Jillian were incensed. Don insisted that they didn’t quit, but nobody was buying that line. I mean, to not lose any weight is one thing, but to gain NINE pounds? That takes a serious breakdown of discipline. I also feel for Arthur, who was so confident last week, but was unable to do much more than water exercises this week due to his knee difficulties. Bob was adamant that Arthur be allowed to remain at all costs, because his life literally depends on him being there.
Special kudos go to: Q and Austin, for coming back strong after a sub-par Week Two, especially after both were called out, and Jesse, who is the only player that I can remember who has actually started the season by losing a higher number for two consecutive weeks than the week before it. The ones with the highest percentage of weight lost after three weeks are Moses (14.5%), Justin (13.4%), Jennifer (12.9%), Deni (12.5%) and Jay (also 12.5%).
Elimination. I didn’t mention it earlier, but there was an additional challenge this week, which involved rolling barrels of water up a hill and filling buckets belong to other teams. The winner of the challenge would earn the right to be the only team to cast an elimination vote, and, interestingly enough, everyone determined before the event even started that Irene would be the winner, because she’s the only one that’s face a vote herself. And since Dan has mentioned on numerous occasions how much he misses his family, he asks Irene to send him home instead of Don, and she obliges. Bob had his misgivings about Dan’s ability to keep it up at home, but thankfully, the news is good: Dan is down to a much-trimmer 215. He looks a lot better, and the smile on the face of his adorable nine-year-old daughter Madelyn is enough to melt your heart.
Next week: the fallout from the weigh-in threatens to fall right on Don’s head. Also, a challenge will see one team leave the Ranch and join the Unknowns. Interesting…
