Many people think the life of the online critic is nonstop enjoyment. After all, we get to sit around and tell people our opinions on movies and record fun stuff like the Weekly Blend Audio Show. Sadly, all of that enjoyable stuff is on top of real life duties for most of us. Take me for instance: I’m a full time college student in my last year getting both my degree and my teaching license. On top of that I have a regular job I work in order to pay my mortgage and then I work on Cinema Blend stuff. It’s a busy life, and there’s no way I’d get to watch half the television I want to without that lovely invention: the DVR.
No, this isn’t another column waxing poetic about the joys of TiVo. I think Matt already said it best in this column’s early days. Instead, I’m going to complain about it.
You see, the advent of the DVR made it possible for me to watch whatever shows I wanted to when it was convenient for me. However, it also made it possible for my wife to watch her favorite shows at the times that are convenient for her as well. Needless to say, her favorite shows are not always my favorite shows, and the times that are convenient for her are not always the same for me. That’s how I wind up with situations like last Thursday night, when I came home after a 16-hour day of work, commuting, and classes, to find her camped out watching “Grey’s Anatomy.” It was close to being grounds for divorce (although she did have a nice dinner waiting for me so I forgave her taking up my precious time with a chick show).
While a dinner saved the stability of our marriage, it didn’t totally stave of my frustration. I have to vent somewhere about the junk that now takes up over half of the space on my DVR (I predict the future will lead to both his and hers bathrooms and TiVo units for all couples). What better place to vent then this week’s Clicker?
Shows My Wife Loves That I Can’t Stand
“Grey’s Anatomy” – Might as well start with the show I brought up earlier. “Grey’s” has several things going against it: It’s yet another medical show in a world that really doesn’t need that. It’s also virtually a prime time soap opera, which went out of style with “Dallas.” Most of all though, I can’t stand a single character on the show. Who am I supposed to feel empathy for: The adulterous, whiny, narrative Meredith Grey who is so helpless she can’t pull her life together for a single hour? The ditzy blonde who winds up killing the patient she fell in love with? Or the clumsy, overtly “lovable” fellow who is destined to get the girl of his dreams even though he’s still hooking up with other women? Whatever happened to holding a silent (and sexless) vigil for the woman you loved? Sorry, “Grey’s Anatomy” lost me the second it attempted the meaningful intern narration of “Scrubs” without the sense of humor or wisdom the half-hour comedy has managed to maintain for years.
“Desperate Housewives” – While I’m throwing punches at the alphabet network’s soap opera extravaganza I might as well include their Emmy winning series, although the nominations were low this year for a cast that was almost completely recognized last year. Do you know why that is? Because the show’s quality went downhill fast. I liked what “Housewives” started out as: small part soap opera but larger part mystery show. Last year the focus from the mystery all but disappeared (with the resolution pretty much rendering that storyline ridiculous anyway) and instead turned to the “Desperate” part of the title as just about every character faced some form of infidelity. I swear, MTV’s “Undressed” was more realistic than what “Housewives” offered last season, and I’m not confident Marc Cherry’s eminent return will save the show from my disinterest.
“What Not To Wear” - Let me preface this by saying I don’t just hate “What Not To Wear.” I also have strong feelings of animosity towards most of TLC’s reality lineup, including “Dinner Takes All”, “Take Home Chef” or “While You Were Out.” TLC’s entire turn to reality and away from actual learning frustrates me to no end, especially once you realize that once you’ve seen one episode of these shows you’ve seen them all. This person is a slovenly dresser. Enter snarky critical fashion consultant to insult them and offer advice of what they should wear. Repeat ad naseum, which doesn’t take long. The sad thing is that almost none of the show’s dedicated audience would actually want Stacy or Clinton to appear on their doorstep. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, or look through other people’s glass walls.
“Bones” - With the new season still warming up I haven’t had time to dislike anything my wife watches from this year yet, so “Bones” is the most recent addition to my hate list. I wanted to like “Bones.” After all, I like David Boreanaz from his “Angel” days. I like Zoey Deschanel, so her sister Emily shouldn’t be too far off from that, right? But if there’s anything we need less than we need another medical drama, it’s another crime drama. They might as well have called this “CSI: Bones” and been done with it as it joins the ranks of the CSI trifecta, “Without a Trace” and the legion of “Law & Order”s on NBC. Just about anywhere you turn these days there’s a doctor or a crime scene investigator, so why should FOX be any different?
Disagree with Rafe on the shows he hates? Too bad. He doesn’t want to hear from you. Trust us though, his wife makes sure he knows how wrong he is.
”The Simpsons” (FOX) 8:00 pm
Bart Has Two Mommies - (repeat) We’re only a couple of weeks into the new season. How could we possibly be in repeats already? Susan Sarandan guest voices in this week’s repeat, which features Bart captured by a monkey with a strong maternal instinct.
”Family Guy” (FOX) 9:00 pm
PTV- (repeat) – Another repeat from last season shows Peter & company’s response to Nipplegate and the state of television censorship as Peter starts his own network. Viewer Warning: there is at least one disgusting shot of Peter’s naked breast in this episode.
”Desperate Housewives” (ABC) 9:00 pm
It Takes Two- (New!) – It’s the second episode of the season and Bree’s getting married to Kyle MacLachlan. How is this different from a daytime soap opera again?
”How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) 8:30 pm
Brunch- (New!) – Ted flies his parents in to meet Robin. Finally, the show can stop focusing on Marshall and Lilly for a few minutes and let different hilarity ensue. Michael Gross and Cristine Rose appear as Ted’s parents.
”Heroes” (NBC) 9:00 pm
Don’t Look Back- (New!) – We didn’t get enough characters last week so this week we get a police officer with telepathy joining the cast. Peter questions his own sanity, Nikki covers up the murder her powers caused, and Hiro discovers that comic books can reveal something disturbing.
”Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (NBC) 10:00 pm
The Focus Group- (New!) – “Studio 60” is observed and tested by a focus group – you know, those groups who get shows like “The War at Home” a second season while “Arrested Development” gets cancelled? That sort of treatment can’t be good for the sketch show.
”Friday Night Lights” (NBC) 8:00 pm
Pilot Episode- (Series Premiere!) – Saturday is college football, Sunday is pro ball, Monday is Monday Night Football. Here’s a way for the sport to edge in on yet another night of the week. It’s a movie adaptation, so I don’t expect it to last beyond the end of the actual football season. The movie was good though, and if the series can capture what worked for the movie it may surprise everyone.
”Veronica Mars” (CW) 9:00 pm
Welcome Wagon- (Season Premiere!) – The one solid show the CW network has opens its third season tonight. The network has kept a pretty tight grip on what can and can’t be told about its premiere, but we do know Veronica is making the transition to college life. Hopefully it goes better for her than it did for “Buffy” in her fourth season.
”Eureka” (Sci-Fi) 9:00 pm
Once in a Lifetime - (Season Finale!) TiVo “Veronica” and tune in for some sci-fi fun as “Eureka” finishes its amazing first season. Time travel is involved as either an alternate Sheriff Carter comes back in time (as advertised by EW) or the entire town of Eureka leaps forward (as advertised by TV Guide). Either way it sounds like the first season will be ending on a high note.
”Boston Legal” (ABC) 10:00 pm
Desperately Seeking Shirley- (New!) – Shirley faces off against her ex-husband in court (played by Tom Selleck). Shatner, Bergen, Selleck, is there anyone this show doesn’t have lined up to appear?
”Jericho” (CBS) 8:00 pm
Four Horsement- (New!) – Rumors spread of a tank battalion coming while some of the more sensible members of the town start trying to find out what really happened.
”Lost” (ABC) 10:00 pm
A Tale of Two Cities- (Season Premiere!) –The Others have Jack, Kate, and Sawyer captured, Eko and Locke (and Desmond) may be dead, and Sayid, Jin, and Sun are still out sailing around the island finding statues with four toes. What could possibly happen next? Who knows, but don’t call anyone during this hour or they’ll have the legal right to kill you.
”The Nine” (ABC) 10:00 pm
Pilot Episode- (Series Premiere!) – This show gets the most comfortable starting position in the season – following one of the hottest shows on TV with a dynamic storyline of its own. Hopefully its story of the victims in a 52 hour hostage standoff will be more interesting than last year’s “Invasion” which wasted the same time slot.
”South Park” (Comedy Central) 10:00 pm
(Season Premiere!) – The tenth season opens as… actually, I have no clue what the show is going to be about. Neither does anyone else. Tune in to find out. There’s no doubt this is what people will be talking Thursday about once they’ve run out of “Lost” speculation.
”My Name Is Earl” (NBC) 8:00pm
Sticks and Stones- (New!) – “Arrested Development” semi-regular Judy Greer appears as a girl Earl made fun of in grade school. Even better: she has a beard and is part of a carney sideshow!
”The Office” (NBC) 8:30 pm
The Coup (New!) – Dwight starts to make a play for Michael’s position as the office leader when Angela gets offended. Pam and Jim are still separated. *sigh*
”Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC) 9:00 pm
Sometimes a Fantasy (Season Premiere!) – Is Izzie a quitter? Apparently not, as she tries to return to the hospital tonight. Yeah, her name in the opening credits kind of gave the hint she wouldn’t be gone long. If the sorrow isn’t enough for you once, the episode re-airs Friday night at 8pm… because most of you who cry over this storyline won’t have other plans.
”Doctor Who” (Sci-Fi) 8:00pm
Tooth and Claw - (New!) – Rose and the good Doctor travel in time to save Queen Victoria from the Empire of the Wolf. Are you missing the last guy yet? Me neither.
”Battlestar Galactica” (Sci-Fi) 9:00 pm
Occupation/Precipice- (Season Premiere!) – Season Three kicks off with quite a bang with two hours back to back (and with the episodes repeating afterwards that’s four hours total – enough for the most dedicated “Battlestar” fan).
Walk the Line (HBO) 7:30 pm
It doesn’t look like anyone’s putting anything up worth watching on Saturdays yet, so watch all the hours of TV you TiVoed during the week or catch this incredible film of Johnny Cash’s early life. Your pick.
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