With 26 new shows vying for your attention (on top of all of the returning shows from last season) there are some that just aren’t going to make it. While each season I hope no shows offer the obvious cancelability of “The Trouble with Larry,” (pictured in this week's logo) there are always some easily noticeable contenders for the first show to be cancelled. This week we take a look at the shows that we expect to leave the airwaves quickly, many of them just based on descriptions or commercials since they haven’t aired yet. If they sound interesting to you we suggest you check them out fast, because some of them may not even make it past episode two.
Friday Night Lights: Shows based on movies rarely fare well, and the best thing this movie had going for it was the brutality in which it depicted football, but characterization off the field was almost non-existent. Movie director Peter Berg returns to direct the pilot episode (and remains an Executive Producer) but with a modernized setting, a new cast (with no really noticeable headliners), and the need to expand the characters away from the lights, this show will have its work cut out for it.
The Class: How many of you would reunite with your third grade class for the first time in twenty years and then actually stick around? Jason Ritter isn’t a big enough name to pull this show together, and the premise feels too forced. No matter how big the misfits he unites are (a suicidal science geek?) I can’t imagine “The Class” sticking together for long enough for the show to find its niche.
Big Day: Are you kidding me? We’re ripping off “24”’s real time concept and applying it to a wedding day. Who thought this was a good enough idea to green light it. I suspect we’ll only get far enough into the series to see the bride (Marla Sokoloff) have doubts about walking down the aisle, or the groom (Josh Cooke) schtupp a bridesmaid. How else will a real time look at a wedding day remain interesting?
Twenty Good Years: I think both John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor are hilarious, and the duo are certainly willing to put themselves through almost anything in order to get a laugh. That does no good in a sitcom, however, where there is no straight man. I suppose we should be happy that neither actor will be restraining themselves into a straight man role that could limit their potential, but I just can’t see all that zaniness lasting very long. Then again, look at “Three and a Half Men” which, by my account, should have been cancelled after three episodes.
Till Death: Brad Garrett is about to learn what happened to the cast of “Seinfeld”. It’s almost impossible to leave a successful comedy and jump back in the saddle without that new show being absolutely splendiferous. “Till Death” is not that show for the supporting actor from “Everybody Loves Raymond.” The grumpy gus routine that served him so well on “Raymond” isn’t going to endear him to audiences as the lead in his own sitcom. Garrett would have been better off taking a spin-off of “Raymond” and playing the same character in a new show than moving to this. Even if the show is mildly successful, let’s not forget it’s on Fox, who cancels halfhearted comedies at the drop of a hat. Don’t expect to see “Till Death” by midseason.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip / 30 Rock: NBC has to do the correct thing and show support for both of these comedies set behind the scenes of a sketch comedy show. Let’s be honest, though. There isn’t room for two shows with the same premise on the same network. It basically comes down to a boxing match between Aaron Sorkin and Tina Fey. While Fey can be excellent, she just doesn’t have the history or consistency of Sorkin, plus she was attached to “SNL” itself which remains a pale shadow of the hilarity it used to contain. Our bet is on “Studio 60” to stick around and “30 Rock” to be shelved, unless Fey’s contract with the network lets her shop it around elsewhere in which case it may pull a “JAG” and wind up competing against “Studio 60” on a different channel.
”The Simpsons” (FOX) 8:00 pm
Jazzy and the Pussycats - (New!) Bart disrupts a funeral, winds up in counseling, and ends up channeling his excess energy by playing the drums. Guest starring the White Stripes as part of Bart’s psychedelic haze.
”The Amazing Race” (CBS) 8:30 pm
Real Fast! Quack Quack!- (Season Premiere!) – Oh dear, it’s the beginning of another reality show as the tenth season of “Amazing Race” begins tonight.. Why didn’t CBS get nailed for this show separating teams by culture? Oh, right - because the teams form themselves. This year we get Muslims, artificial legs, and cheerleaders as teams race from Seattle to China in the first episode.
”Family Guy” (FOX) 9:00 pm
Mother Tucker- (New!) – Can I just say I love this show? This week features the arrival of Peter’s mother (voiced by Phyllis Diller) who hooks up with local Quahog newsman Tom Tucker. Just how contorted is this animated town, where almost everyone seems to be tied together through sex and odd modern culture references? How odd are those references? Gore Vidal appears in this episode, believe it or not.
”Nip/Tuck” (FX) 10:00 pm
Blu Mondae- (New!) – I changed cable providers and somehow lost FX, so I missed that “Nip/Tuck” was already back in action. Possibly stranger than Gore Vidal appearing on “Family Guy” is Richard Chamberlain’s appearance on this week’s episode as a man who wants his boyfriend to look like him. Wow, just when you thought this show had reached the lowest narcissism possible, a gay man wants his lover to look like him. Hopefully storylines like that will keep things interesting enough to keep the show from having to bring in another disappointing serial killer story.
”The Class” (CBS) 8:00 pm
Pilot - (Series Premiere!) – Jason Ritter reunites his third grade class to propose to his girlfriend, who he met in the third grade. From there the show follows eight characters as the cope with turning 30. What’s with storylines focused on being thirty this year? Between this show, Clerks II, and The Last Kiss I think we’ve pretty much covered the turning 30 blues.
”How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) 8:30 pm
Where Were We?- (Season Premiere!) – Robin and Ted don’t get to enjoy their new found romance as they attempt to help Marshall cope with his breakup. Can you imagine Barney trying to help someone get over a lost love? We don’t know what he’ll do, but with George Clinton appearing we bet it will be legendary.
”Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (NBC) 10:00 pm
Pilot- (Series Premiere!) – Aaron Sorkin gets a chance to use the jokes he never got to use on “Sports Night” with a second attempt at a show that looks behind the scenes of a television show. As the series begins, the showrunner for “Studio 60,” a SNL type show, has a meltdown and it’s time for damage control. With a cast that includes Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Steven Weber, Timothy Busfield, and Amanda Peet, how can this show not be a hit?
”House” (FOX) 8:00 pm
Informed Consent- (New!) – Joel Grey wants House to kill him. Seems to me that is an excellent way for House to get out that excessive anger and frustration.
”Eureka” (Sci-Fi) 9:00 pm
Purple Haze - (New!) Carter has to investigate strange behavior from the townpeople. In a town full of geniuses, what constitutes “strange behavior?” Regardless, if Carter doesn’t figure out what’s going on, Stark will take care of things, and that’s never good.
”Boston Legal” (ABC) 10:00 pm
Boys of Summer- (Season Premier!) – It turns out Michael J. Fox may not have just returned to propose to Julie Bowen’s character. He might also be in need of more legal council. So much for those aspirations of romance between any character other than Denny Crane and Alan Shore.
”Jericho” (CBS) 8:00 pm
Pilot: The First 17 Hours- (Series Premiere!) – Skeet Ulritch plays a character who returns to the town of Jericho after five years, but gets trapped there after a nuclear explosion cuts off the town from the rest of the world. The extremes some people will go to in order to get rid of Ulritch’s greasy ass.
”Kidnapped” (NBC) 10:00 pm
Pilot Episode- (Series Premiere!) – Another hidden conspiracy attempts to make its way onto television with this show that features Timothy Hutton, Dana Delandy, and Jeremy Sisto. A billionaire’s son is kidnapped, causing the tycoon to hire an unconventional investigator to find his son while not exposing other secrets. Why can’t a billionaire’s son be kidnapped just for the money? Does there really have to be a huge conspiracy behind it?
”My Name Is Earl” (NBC) 8:00pm
Very Bad Things- (Season Premier!) – Sorry “Survivor” but you just can’t compete with Earl and his list. This week Earl takes on #183: “Never Took Joy’s Side.” It turns out that may not have been a bad thing.
”The Office” (NBC) 8:30 pm
Gay Witch Hunt (Season Premiere!) – Casino Night left the Office with a number of conundrums: Michae… ah, screw it. What will happen with Pam and Jim! We must know! We must know!
”Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC) 9:00 pm
Time Has Come Today (Season Premiere!) – The medical drama moves into its new Thursday night time slot with less competition than expected (“CSI” may be tough but is “Deal or No Deal” really going to touch this fanbase?). Izzy is quitting the internship program while Meredith tries to figure out her love life. She hasn’t figured it out in two seasons so far, what makes anyone think she’ll figure it out in this episode? If you prefer “CSI” don’t worry: ABC is rebroadcasting this episode Friday night.
”Ghost Whisperer” (ABC) 8:00pm
Love Never Dies - (Season Premier!) – Love may never die, but Melinda’s friend sure has. Now she has to save Andrea’s soul from her nemesis. Did anybody read last week’s column where I guessed this is what would happen?
Wedding Crashers (HBO) 8:00 pm
Networks are getting smart and rebroadcasting pilots of some of their new shows (if they aren’t showing college football). If you stayed on top of TV’s newest offerings and don’t care for sports, there’s humor to be found in HBO’s Saturday Night Premiere of Wedding Crashers.
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