Anyone who wants to be president: line up by the ice cream machine!
When the folksy-yet-progressive VP Joe Biden plans a trip to Greendale, a photo-op is set-up with Biden, Dean Pelton, and the Greendale Student Body President. However, it seems the Greendale Student Body has been in a state of anarchy for the last decade, as no formal student government actually exists. Dean Pelton decides that the most practical solution to this dilemma is to attempt to elect a President in the next seven hours.
Pelton sets up an elaborate process in which potential candidates are vetted and the contenders are separated from the pretenders. This process entails each candidate standing in front of the student body and saying a few words; the candidates move onto the primary if they are met with a generally approving, half-hearted applause. This process is successful in weeding out the only candidate to not receive any applause, which is Britta. Because everyone wants her to shut up.
The eight candidates who make it to the primaries include: fan favorite Jeff Winger, the studious Annie Edison, local curmudgeons Leonard and Pierce, local businessman (of sorts) Alex “Starburns” Osborne, young up-and-comer Magnitude (short for Magnetic Attitude), ice cream enthusiast Garrett, and Vicki (yellow shirt… hat… girl…). The debates were heated, complete with death threats, bomb scares, audio-visual presentations, and the majority of the participants removing themselves from candidacy. The election also raised 10 important questions concerning Greendale current events, listed below:
1) Why is Troy’s nickname “Butt Soup”? And how did he acquire it?
2) Did Leonard’s surname change to “Rodriguez” help him court the Latin vote? Exit polls were not available at the time of this publishing.
3) Does Dean Pelton have a sister? And if so, does she follow Jeff Winger on Twitter?
4) If Annie were elected President, would she be the first student government boobed-president from a Hot ethnic background?
5) What the Hell is “Kyptonite”, and why is Jeff’s Kyptonite “women’s tears”? (Nerdy spell checking for the win.)
6) Will the Ass-Crack Bandit ever be brought to justice?!?
7) What is the correct distinction between “duck” and “goose”? Failing this, what is the appropriate number of ducks to be selected before moving onto geese?
8) Did you know you can make napalm out of common dish soap and catfood?
9) Which piece of stirring political rhetoric is more likely to resonate with the modern American voter: “Pop Pop” or “Pbbbbttt”?
And finally:
10) You gotta ask yourself… what’s… up with politics?
Coincidentally, neither of the two favorites (Annie and Jeff) advanced past the primaries. Jeff withdrew from the competition in embarrassment after Annie made his 1997 audition tape for The Real World public. Likewise, Annie withdrew shortly after, not proud of what she did to her friend. The two-man race went down to Magnitude against Leonard. The winner, with a commanding 7 of the 11 total votes, went to Comedy Central’s hit TV show South Park
Unfortunately, some sort of personified version of South Park was not able to accept the award. Vice President Biden was forced to instead visit cross-town rival Greendale City College after Abed was deemed an elevated terror risk. Abed earned this distinction after announcing common ingredients to homemade napalm on Greendale’s closed circuit TV station. This wasn’t a call to violence, but a call for romance.
After noticing the inconspicuous Secret Service surveillance team around Greendale, Abed is approached by the curt-but-cute Special Agent Robin Vohlers, and the two hit it off… or at least they do so to the extent that they are capable. Vohlers continues to search Abed, his room, his belongings, etc.—but unfortunately, she can’t find anything suspicious (and thus, has no reason to remain at Greendale). Once Abed gives her a reason, the two share a lovely first-date when she spies on Abed through his apartment window while he watches a movie; Abed is able to talk to her and secure a second date through a bug placed in his lamp.
Unless I’m very much mistaken, this is Abed’s first (requited) love interest in the show… which I’m a fan of, despite it being totally zany. Actually, it’s because it’s totally zany. As much as I appreciate more grounded episodes like this season’s Mixology Certification, I think Community is at its best when it doesn’t take itself seriously. That was definitely the case this week, and it had the laughs to back it up.
You see, I think 9/11 was bad, and Community? Well, I think that's just a little bit better.
Extra Credit
- Useless Factoid of the Week: Jeff has 23 “Classic Wingers”, as tallied by Abed. This is much higher than his 8 “Ab Mentions”, but still not close to Troy’s tally of his own notches, which stands at 36.
- I pretty much covered my favorite moments above, but this one was definitely a keeper:
Abed: Two men fighting over the same piece of Earth. One recently born, one soon to die: a competition reflecting the pointlessness of life.
Troy: Pull up, Abed – you’re in a nosedive.
