Picture a typical snapshot of a Laguna Beach High School trigonometry class: Cameron, head on desk in a dreamless stupor, is sleeping; Tessa, torturing herself with her unbearable voice droning on in her head, is gazing out the window (reminiscent of LC’s meditative window broodings on ‘The Hills’); grade-skipper Jessica is, well, there in spirit. Maybe if the Laguna scholars devoted even the tiniest amount of their energies to learning trigonometry they wouldn’t have failed so miserably when it came to applying the principles to their sketchy relationships.
Cameron handles his triangles with such unimaginable inelegance that the mindless victims he pathetically attempts to manipulate must take some of the blame. Tessa deserved absolutely no pity when she walked in on Cameron and Jessica pecking at each other. A seemingly oblivious Cameron could not have realized how ironic the singing of Happy Birthday really was. Nick W.’s attempts to salvage the disassembled triangle after the fact were commendable. He even told Tessa to say hello to Rocky for him. That kid really knows something about living vicariously through LB-stars.
Kyndra, pleasantly plagued by an ex (he’s bad news according to Cami) seeking rekindling, agreed to restart a previously dysfunctional relationship (Jessica, in a priceless interaction with Cami, claimed it was more dysfunctional than her relationship with Jason). The evil ex (and $500-t-shirt-wearer) Tyler re-connected with Kyndra by tapping into their meaningful monetary bond and by discussing the ridiculously expensive jewelry he bought her: “That’s something you hold onto for the rest of your life.”
Jason’s cameo appearance where he totally dissed Cameron and Jessica (to whom, sadly, he no longer speaks) and Alex H.’s new tattoo were highlights amidst the utterly boring story arcs of Cameron, Tessa, and Kyndra. It was no surprise (even if it was contrived by producers) that Jason is a friend of imbecile Tyler and that they are golfing buddies. It was a surprise, however, that they even cared to discuss Jessica and Cameron.
For anyone else frustratingly wondering why Cami is not given a main storyline, just know that she is on a completely different level than her peers. Her quasi-omniscience allows her to rise above the insignificance around her (Kyndra should have definitely listened to her about the whole Tyler thing). She’s much better off without the manufactured storylines that rule the lives of whiny Tessa and poser Kyndra.
Did anyone else think that the place where Tessa and Rocky got their pedicures is the same place where LC and Lo had their infamous pre-spring break and post-Christina’s-birthday (to which they were uninvited) run-in with Christina and Morgan in Season One? It’s got to be. The producers must have some type of filming agreement with them. When you are able to make observations like that, you know this season must be inferior to everything that has come before it. LC, Stephen, and Kristin. Now those are three Laguna scholars who paid attention in trigonometry class.
