MSNBC Taps Abrams As Chief Poobah

Struggling cable news channel MSNBC has announced legal host and Men's Health columnist Dan Abrams as the new network GM, according to the Los Angeles Times. NBC News is hoping that Abrams will bring his "insider's perspective" to give MSNBC that edge it needs to survive in the cutthroat, conservative world of cable news. "Insider's perspective"? Can't that get you into serious trouble with the SEC?

For the past four and a half years Abrams has been the host of 'The Abrams Report', though he'll be stepping down from that role to stomp around in his new shoes as general manager of the network. The show will continue with guest hosts. (Won't they have to change the name?)

Late last week Rick Kaplan stepped down as head of the network in an abrupt departure. Many feel that the small gains made by MSNBC were enough to show that the network was moving in the right direction, but good outings of 'Hardball' were not enough to appease Kaplan's superiors. What many people don't know is that NBC finally realized that their vision of a giant comet hitting the earth and MSNBC scoring HUGE ratings as a result was just not going to happen. In a fit of childish frustration, they secretly forced Kaplan out and replaced him with a man sure to take the BS out of MSNBC!