My first day of high school Economics, my obese, effeminate and hard-headed professor taught our class one lesson. If demand is high, you limit supply and raise prices. If demand is scarce, you lower prices and hope to God someone buys. Apparently NBC president Jeff Zucker never learned economics...or math....or even common sense because his strategy is the exact opposite.
Despite idling in dead last of the four major networks, NBC has decided not to lower advertising prices. In fact, according to Variety, Zucker actually plans on raising monetary fees in a few timeslots. Am I the only one who finds this a little bizarre, even shocking? It’s the equivalent of the T.Y. corporation raising prices on Beanie Babies. No one wants the damn miniature animals anymore, and no one wants to advertise on NBC!
If I was Jeff Zucker, I would send out a memo to every sponsor and corporation that said something like this:
I’m sorry for the blunt nature of this statement, but unfortuantely, euphemisms cannot properly describe our current situation. Over the last year, our network stategy was a complete, unequivocal failure. I’d wager that disgraced embezzler Reverend Jim Bakker had a better business plan that we have implemented. I’m sorry. There’s really no excuse. I hope you accept these free chocolate cookies and discounted advertising rates as a gesture of our sincere apologetic nature and generous spirit. We won’t fuck you over again this year.
Sincerely,
Jeff Zucker
