I learned three valuable lessons about Smash last night. The first is that, if you drink every time someone says "Marilyn," you will be passed out by 10:15. The second is that Megan Hilty is no longer channeling Marilyn Monroe in her portrayal of Ivy, and has instead shifted on over to Anna Nicole Smith, which makes everything make a lot more sense. The third is that Debra Messing's name is now "Debra Mess," because all she does is cry on this show and make really poor decisions.
So, THE SHORT VERSION: Rehearsals begin for the out-of-town tryout of "Bombshell," with Hollywood star Rebecca Duvall as Marilyn. The problem is, she's stuck in Cuba with Sean Penn for some reason, so Karen's put in as her understudy. She starts out all sorts of timid, and Derek yells at her, and then she yells back and we get a trippy fantasy moment (again?) where Derek sees her as the perfect Marilyn. Derek eventually comes on over to Karen's apartment and apologizes for being a lecherous tool, only to get caught there by Dev and beaten up. Oh, and Dev has a bunch of drama at the Mayor's office and flirts with his coworker.
Tom gets dumped by hot republican lawyer John after John notices that Tom and chorus boy Sam are hot for one another. Tom also steps in for a missing cast member and performs an awesome number as Darryl Zanuck, the 20th Century Fox producer who had a love/hate with Marilyn. It's awesome, and there are cigars and men in towels. Meanwhile, Julia continues to cry a lot because her husband Frank left her, and then Tom and Julia celebrate their "anniversary" as a creative team by finding a high school production of their first show and seeing it. Julia bursts into tears and leaves, and she and Tom cuddle on the street. And then her estranged husband stands her up for coffee.
Ellis does nothing sneaky this episode, and Eileen spends a lot of time on the phone, yelling in Spanish, trying to get Rebecca out of Cuba. Her investors get bossy and bitchy, and her hot bartender friend Nick introduces her to a rockstar, who invests, which means Eileen can start a trash-can fire with her other backers' contracts. Ellis uncovers some dirt on Nick, but we don't find out what that is. And then Eileen and Nick make out a little. I'd call her a cougar, but this is Anjelica Houston. So...yeah.
Ivy mopes because she's been fired from her Broadway show after making a drunken ass of herself onstage, and sings Kelly Clarkson's "Breakway" in her head while being all frowny. She decides to try and work her way back into the show by sucking up, but that sort of falls flat. And at the end, Karen sings "They Never Get the Heart," the number that Ivy sang in the very first episode as a demo, and it's perfect and beautiful and heartbreaking, and then Rebecca Duvall finally shows up and she's back in the chorus.
WHAT I LOVED THIS EPISODE: Tom's number was...well, it was flat-out great. It was a patter song that rivaled the most fun moments of GIlbert and Sullivan. More of this, please! And we're seeing some extraneous plotlines fall away or finally develop, like the whole bartender thing. And we FINALLY get to see Karen's talent shine, instead of just having it talked about in circles. That final number was gorgeous.
WHAT WAS A BIT OF A MESS: I'm going to be very happy when Julia is given something to do besides apologize and cry and storm out of places. It's getting old. And Megan Hilty is a superb actress, who deserves some more dimension than she's often given.
All of that said, this was a tight, enjoyable soap-opera episode of Smash. I'm looking forward to the chaos that Uma Thurman threatens to bring to this world. See you in seven!
