Last week, the Espada tribe regained momentum, winning both the Reward and the Immunity challenges. Marty, still armed with his HII, found himself in a quandary; his only viable ally was Jill against the other five La Florians, which gave his survival in the game a shelf-life of two Tribal Councils, max. Sash gave him an ultimatum: give me the HII, and maybe I’ll keep you around. Painted into a corner, Marty did just that, and Jill was sent home. Did he buy himself any time or is his death sentence already sealed? We’ll soon find out. Twelve remain.
Day 19 at La Flor. In a moment of unsubtle Survivor Random Camera-Shot metaphor, we see a group of vultures picking over the carcass of a now-deceased sea turtle. The irony of the situation is not lost on spectator Marty, who wonders if there’s anything he can do at the point to save himself. But a possible reprieve comes with the morning Tree Mail: it’s merge time. La Flor is asked to pack up their rudimentary belongings and walk to Espada’s camp, which will be their home for the duration. Marty is ecstatic. He’s hoping that his little tete-a-tete with the other five players will be lost in the oncoming shuffle. Of course, if it turns out that there are still young-versus-old tribal lines, Marty’s still in trouble, because the youngsters outnumber the elders 8-4.
Espada gets the news that six new houseguests are on their way, and Alina tries futilely to get her tribe-mates on her side, professing a desire to get their group to the Final Six. I hope she’s not blind enough to see that no one’s on board with this; not Benry, not Dan, and certainly not NaOnka. La Flor comes walking up, and the greetings and re-acquaintances commence. Marty is especially happy to see Dan and Holly, and everyone has taken note of the significance of Jill’s absence.
Of course, when two tribes merge, four things happen. Firstly, everyone is given a new color buff, and the blue and yellow buffs are shed in favor of brand-new red ones. Secondly, a new tribe name is chosen, and the group quickly warms to Marty’s suggestion that they now be known as “Libertad”, which is Spanish for “liberty” or “freedom”, which… a little hokey, but whatever. Thirdly, the knowledge that everyone voted out between now and the Final Three is a jury member. And finally, a feast of food and drink provided by the show. The group tuck into a trove of stuff, including cold cuts, bread, chocolate chip cookies, and a jug of rum.
Brenda is happiest to be reunited with NaOnka, and they take the first opportunity to walk together and plan the demise of Western civilization. Meanwhile, as I believe I predicted before the season started, fellow North Carolinians Jane and Chase have taken a shine to each other, and I’m sure that this will easily turn out to be one of the few genuine friendships to be formed this season. It turns out that not only did Chase lose his dad, but Jane is recently widowed herself, so I’m truly happy that they’ve found kindred spirits in each other. If Jane can woo him away from Brenda’s evil hex, that would be even greater.
Day 20. Most of the celebratory food is gone, and NaOnka has generously made tortillas for everyone. Of course, she then bitches and moans how she ended up with the smallest one, and so, like a six-year-old, she decides then and there that she’s going to vent on everyone by taking the remainder of the flour, stuffing it in her knapsack, and hiding it in the forest. I wish I could say that this surprised me, but NaOnka is seriously one of the most immature human adults I’ve ever seen. She stole Fabio’s socks with no compunction whatsoever, and now she thinks that this petty revenge will somehow right a great wrong? Puh-leez. Fortunately, her infantile antics take place under the watchful eye of Holly.
But is she done? Oh, hell no. Later on, while everyone else is, well, elsewhere, NaOnka returns to an empty camp and proceeds to pilfer everything she can from the food chest, including fruit, the frying pan and other cooking implements. All this while shoving even more fruit into her annoying pie-hole, and soliloquizing to the camera about her “sweet victory”. Then, to put a capper on her day, she decides to torture Alina by telling her that everyone’s gunning for her. NaOnka implies that she’s her only friend, and to prove it hands her one of her stolen oranges (which she says in interview is to get Alina’s vote when she makes it to the Final Three). Oh, my god, so much hypocrisy in one person just makes me gag.
When everyone returns, it takes very little time for the group to discover the missing items. Holly says that she saw NaOnka put the flour in her bag, but NaOnka retorts that she put it back. Fabio, speaking I’m sure for everybody, asks her why it would go in her bag in the first place. She bobs, weaves, evades, and repeats herself ad infinitum, but Fabio keeps at her. Finally, she just throws up her arms, tells Fabio “F you” and storms off in a huff, leaving a bunch of thunderstruck castaways in her wake. Alina looks ashamed that she made a deal with a prepubescent devil, and hopes that her being complicit in the theft doesn’t turn out to bite her in the butt.
It takes very little prodding from Alina and Chase to convince NaOnka that fessing up, posthaste, is in her best interests, and she does. Dancing very fast, she explains that her purpose in hiding the food was to make sure it was portioned out correctly. Naturally, the only one who voices his disbelief is Marty. Lying is one thing – it is Survivor, after all – but stealing food for yourself makes you Public Enemy #1. I hope that this is the inciting incident that turns the tide and gets this horrible woman off my TV screen for good.
But it seems, the next morning, that I probably won’t get my wish. Chase, Jane, Brenda and Sash collectively agree that they should distance themselves from NaOnka, but also agree that they need her around for now. Chase explains in interview that because of her antics, she’s likely cost herself any votes and is therefore the perfect person to take to the Final Three. Hmmm… a Final Three of NaOnka, Chase and Someone Else? Go, Someone Else! Marty, meanwhile, has begun his contingency plan, and warns Brenda that Jane poses a huge threat, what with being so likeable and catching fish and all that other terrible stuff. Brenda, who doesn’t seem concerned about losing her boy toy, recognizes that Marty is a very strategic player, and voting him out quickly would save them all a lot of headaches down the road. True, that.
Immunity Challenge. The first post-merge individual immunity challenge is almost always a test of endurance and concentration, and this is no exception. The castaways have to hold two metal handles, which are attached to rings inside which a loose-fitting metal bar is place. They must keep the handles taut, for any slack in their grip will cause the bar to fall out and break a tile they’re standing over. The last man and woman standing will receive immunity. It takes mere minutes to lose over half the field, and Jane (the oldest, remember) easily wins immunity for the women. Take that, beauty queens! (And even better: even though she already won, she decides to keep going because she wants to beat the men too. I love me some Jane!) Sadly, her fellow Carolinian can’t quite hold up, and the last two standing are Jane and Fabio, who kind of looks like Tarzan, now that I think about it.
Back at camp, Jane tells all the girls how awesome it was to beat Marty, and right now, the girls look like they want to buy stock in Jane. Alina hopes that Jane’s fervor to oust the tribe weasel will take the bulls-eye off her back for the moment. If would seem that Jane has the backing to do it, too, and I smile a lot at the look on NaOnka’s face that control of the game has been snatched from her by a little old lady. However, there is one wrinkle: if you remember, Sash promised Marty that he would give the HII back to him if he needed it, and despite what he said in interview, he doesn’t want to go back on his word. Jane looks disappointed that in order to keep her alliance, she may have to put up with Marty for a while longer, but seems to relent. It looks like Alina is back on the chopping block after all. Brenda says that Marty isn’t as big a threat as Jane makes him out to be, because he sucks at challenges and has no allies.
Well, he does have one in Dan, who tells Marty that Chase is gunning for him. This, of course, sends Marty into full paranoia mode. Everyone, from Brenda to Sash to Holly to Dan, tries to assuage his fears by telling him that it’s Alina, period. Alina, meanwhile, comes up with a plan: get all the girls, plus Fabio, to vote for Marty, and then they could be rid of him and Sash wouldn’t have to break his word. Hmmm, not bad. Fabio, however, would rather vote off NaOnka. Which is a great idea, but that’s not going to fly. He doesn’t want to vote off Marty, since they have gotten along pretty well. Alina says that it’s either her or Marty, so he has to decide who he likes more.
Tribal Council. Jeff opens that Q&A by asking Holly if the end-game has begun, and she confirms that it has. Marty then rags on Jane, but then gives her a back-handed compliment by saying that if she makes it to Final Three, she’ll easily win, and he’ll even vote for her himself, because she’s got the biggest sob story. Tool. Jeff asks Alina if Marty may have cut his own throat, but Alina says he’s basically right, because he’s a great strategic player. Dan then volunteers the fact that NaOnka and Alina stole food, and NaOnka admits it, but retaliates that she returned it, and no one got hurt. Fabio hits back by reminding everyone that she only returned it because she got caught. Damn straight. Even Sash and Benry roll their eyes at NaOnka’s barefaced guilt.
Voting time. You’ll never guess who Jane votes for. Alina votes for that person too. Benry votes for Alina, calling her a “dirt squirrel”, whatever the hell that is. Sash seconds that vote, and that’s all we see. Jeff collects the urn. Marty does not produce the HII, so it would seem that Sash didn’t give it back to him after all. Hmmm. Out come the slips. Marty. Marty. Alina. Alina. Alina. Alina. Alina. Alina. And… Alina. Sorry, girl. I liked you mainly because you were Kelly B’s friend and NaOnka’s enemy, but you made way too many mistakes. Now you get to sit in silence on the jury while the rest of the game plays out.
Next week: Sash and Brenda try to hold onto control of the game. And, once again, NaOnka refuses to STFU. Who saw that coming?
