Last week, Espada seemed to have it all going. But as strong as everyone is this season, nature and the elements are merciless adversaries, and the over-40 crowd are starting to show signs of wear, including Shoeless Dan. Espada lost the Immunity Challenge, and collectively decided that having an awesome – but weak – celebrity on board was no longer in their best interests, and Coach Jimmy Johnson was sent home. Meanwhile, La Flor tribe member NaOnka has seized control, and is rapidly climbing the Most Hellaciously Annoying Reality Show Contestants In The History Of Ever chart with a bullet. She now stands at ten million viewers offended and counting (rough estimate) and may go triple-times-ten-platinum by season’s end. Seventeen remain.
Night Eight. The weather of Nicaragua has turned inclement, and most of the Espada tribe are looking rather haggard – that is, except for Jimmy T, who is convinced that he will now be Espada’s proverbial white knight now that Jimmy J is gone. Drunk on his own one-man power play, he serenades the group with some terribly off-key singing, and the facial expressions of the rest of his tribe definitely communicate that they are close to rock bottom. Damn, where’s Simon Cowell when you need him?
The next morning, the aftermath of the previous night’s storm is revealed: Espada’s beach is an ungodly mess, strewn with logs and other jungle debris, and the mud has turned the ocean a very unsightly brown. To make matters worse, the area where Espada did most of their fishing has been washed out, and that’s going to put a crimp in menu-planning for the near future. Things are looking grim. Now would be a good time for Jimmy T – you know, the commercial fisherman – to prove his mettle.
Over at La Flor, it seems their little slice of heaven didn’t get hit as hard. Bully for them. Brenda thinks that she’s figured out where La Flor’s HII is, and relays that info to NaOnka. And, in about thirty seconds flat, they locate it. Dagnabbit, if there’s one thing I didn’t want, it’s for NaOnka to have more power than she already had. This not only probably means she’s going to be around for a long time, but we the viewers are guaranteed at least five more soliloquies about how “all that” she is. Case in point: in interview, she brags that the HII is hers, because SHE figured it out, when just sixty seconds earlier we saw Brenda explain it to her. Wow. You never want to see delusion mixed with arrogance, because that is one crazy sandwich. Meanwhile, Alina and Kelly B decide that they need to find the HII for themselves, unaware that their situation is far worse than they realize. After a brief but fruitless search, NaOnka joins them, and proceeds to bash Kelly B relentlessly about how much they suck compared to her, and what is Pegleg Kelly going to do about it. Seriously, enough is too much. I want her on the next rocket ship to the sun.
At Espada, Marty connivingly engineers a vote among the ladies to nominate Tyrone as their de facto leader, and the only objecting voice is Jimmy T, who just wants to make sure everyone knows – again – that he can contribute. He sees how devious Marty is, and I have a feeling the next Espada power play will be revolving around those two. Treemail arrives, and it seems that the next Immunity Challenge will be one of those where one player guides the rest of his team, wearing blindfolds, to pick stuff up off the ground. Espada chooses Tyrone as the guide and proceeds to practice. Smart.
Immunity/Reward Challenge. As advertised, the challenge is a blindfold challenge. The blindfolded tribe members will be directed by their callers to locate and retrieve ten various survival items as well as a set of keys that will unlock a big chest with the word “Sears” on it. Winning tribe gets immunity as well as three items from the chest. La Flor, who still have the MoP, elects to use it this time, and will start with a two-item headstart. With Tyrone and Brenda as their tribes’ respective callers, the challenge begins. And despite the practice session, Espada falls way behind and loses by a country mile. And Jimmy T, who begged for more playing time, couldn’t find one damn thing. La Flor, jubilant, selects fishing gear, a tarp and some cooking tools, and Espada leaves with the MoP, an impending trip to TC and the promise of more growly stomachs.
So the continuing good news is that Kelly B and Alina postpone Judgment Day for a little while longer. Upon their return to camp, Chase opens the brand new Sears Box O’ Fishing Stuff and finds another rolled-up clue to the HII. He tells no one but Brenda of course, since he is now in her thrall, and Brenda informs him on the sly that NaOnka has the HII, so please don’t rat me out to her, slave boy, or I will be pissed. (I’m paraphrasing, FYI.)
Jimmy T and Jill, meanwhile, are busy combing the rocks for the only available source of protein – sea urchins. Which is good, I guess, beggars can’t be choosers, but this is reason #1,692 for why I will never be on this show. Jimmy T and Marty continue to butt heads, with Jimmy T calling Marty out for daring to eat some urchins without actually contributing to the catching part. This is apparently the last straw for Marty, who immediately begins his campaign for making it back-to-back weeks with a Jimmy going home.
Holly and Jane are convinced that Dan should be the next to go, because his game mentality seems to have checked out for good. Jill agrees, but Marty would still rather send Jimmy T home. Tyrone is torn between the two, but eventually settles on Dan going home. This sends Marty into a tizzy, because he needs Dan on his side to have any hope of taking over, so he goes to work on Tyrone. While this is going on, Jimmy T is doing his same old song-and-dance routine in front of Holly and Yve, who frankly are getting sick of the sight (and sound) of him.
Tribal Council. Jeff starts by reviewing the debacle at the challenge, but Marty spins it away by saying they’ve put it behind them. Jeff then calls out Dan for sitting out two challenges in a row, wondering if his lack of ability might be a burden to his team. Jill agrees, saying that they need to find a way to stop losing. Jimmy T calls yet again for his one big shot, and Marty lets loose that its not Jimmy T’s will to win that’s in question, it’s his off-putting-as-all-get-out attitude and demeanor. Holly, however, leaps to Jimmy T’s defense, saying that maybe giving Jimmy T his one shot could turn things around, because their current strategy ain’t worked for squat so far. Jimmy T says he’s more than willing to take a follower role if that’s what the tribe wants, and that seems to satisfy Tyrone. Or so it would appear…
Voting time. Holly votes for Dan, apologizing once again for the shoes. Dan votes for Jimmy T. Jimmy T votes for Dan. Marty votes for Jimmy T, and that’s all we see. Jeff brings the urn, and out come the slips. Dan. Dan. Dan. Jimmy T. Jimmy T. Jimmy T. Jimmy T. And… Jimmy T. (Awesome moment: after Jeff reads Jimmy T’s name, Jane utters an expletive that results in her mouth being blurred over.) Wow, just when I thought that he had talked himself out of it. Jeff snuffs Jimmy T’s torch, and off he goes. Say hi to the fishes, ya big gorilla.
Next week: NaOnka’s hurting, which makes me think that that NaOnka voodoo doll that I fashioned out of Play-Doh and feathers is finally working. And also: it’s a classic Survivor switcheroo!
