Last week, in a billowing cloud of noxious bitchery, NaOnka proclaimed herself Almighty Queen of LaFlor, and that Kelly B was naught but a lowly one-legged insect crawling at her feet. Meanwhile, Jimmy T begged and pleaded for a shot to prove himself, but in the end, he couldn’t put his money where his foot was and he was sent packing. Sixteen remain, with the Young leading the Old by two full members. Who will be eliminated… tonight?
Night 11. Espada despondently returns from TC, and Holly is stupefied that Jimmy T, as annoying as he was, was sent home in front of Shoeless Dan, who is getting weaker by the day. She feels very vulnerable now (as, presumably, should her ally Jane). Meanwhile, Marty is feeling particularly pleased with himself, confident that the game is going exactly the way he wants. Um, dude? You’re down two players, don’t know if you noticed! Marty and Dan confab, and agree that Holly and Jane are the next two to go. And then Marty says, “it would take something ‘whacked out’ to disturb my plans”. Well, to paraphrase Robert Burns, the best laid plans of mice and weasels gang aft agley, don’t they? If last week’s preview is to be believed, there’s a major shakeup imminent.
Die hard Survivor fans will remember numerous occasions when tribes have been reshuffled. It usually comes when one team has the clear momentum, and cliques have formed on each tribe that seem particularly cocky. I can’t wait to see the look on NaOnka’s and Marty’s face when this happens. If I had my druthers, NaOnka would be stuck on a tribe with Kelly B and four Espadans who won’t tolerate her bullcrap for more than a day. And it would be even more awesome if she could be sent back to Espada’s camp without even getting a chance to unearth her own personal HII. But we’ll see what happens. (I’m writing this as I’m watching, so as of this sentence, I don’t know what’s going down yet.)
Reward Challenge. Well, we’re only ten minutes into the hour, and Jeff wastes no time delivering the news, and it comes in three little words… “Drop your buffs”. Marty and Brenda look thoroughly dismayed. Jud laments that it sucks to be reshuffling tribes since La Flor had the clear momentum. All the castaways draw colored rocks from a bag to determine the new team captains, who turn out to be Brenda and Holly. Brenda is asked to pick three Espadans, and she chooses Jane, Jill and Marty. Holly gets to pick four La Florians, and she picks Alina, Benry, Chase and NaOnka. So, just to keep your scorecards up-to-date, La Flor is now Brenda, Jane, Jill, Jud, Kelly B, Kelly S, Marty and Sash, and Espada is Alina, Benry, Chase, Dan, Holly, NaOnka, Tyrone and Yve.
On the one hand, it sucks that Kelly B and Alina are now separated, but at least Kelly B is nowhere near NaOnka, who in turn is now (deliciously) separated from every member of her former alliance except Benry, not to mention her precious HII. This especially sucks for Marty, who is now in a tribe of youngsters who won’t trust him an inch, as well as Jane who will tell them not to trust him an inch. This game just got awesome again.
And oh yeah, there’s a challenge. Jeff collects the MoP, which is now officially scrapped for the duration. (Don’t know how I feel about that… why introduce a new twist to the game only to pull it one-fourth of the way through?) The challenge seems to be the Survivor version of pachinko, with a twist. Two members of each tribe will deposit balls into a sharply-tilted board littered with numerous pegs to keep the ball continuously changing direction. The balls will exit at the bottom of the board, and two members of the other tribe must catch them before they hit the ground. Any dropped ball results in a point for the other tribe, first tribe to three wins. The prize: a box of live chickens. And since trying to describe these challenges tends to be overlong (and since you can watch these challenges on CBS.com if you really want to), I’ll just announce that Espada wins 3-2.
At Espada, Tyrone welcomes the newcomers to their camp congenially, and at first they seem fine with the change… that is, until Tyrone starts laying down the ground rules of the camp like the newcomers are guests staying in his house, at which point, we get lots of “sigh, old people” looks from Chase, Benry and NaOnka. Alina too, but if she knows what’s good for her, she should be switching sides posthaste. The thing is, Holly has the same idea, believing her best shot is joining the youngsters against Tyrone, Yve and Dan. NaOnka believes that with Holly, they can be five-strong again, including Alina, who seems to have already forgotten NaOnka’s problem with her guilty-by-association friendship with Kelly B.
Marty, Jill, and Brenda, however, are a little nervous about being outnumbered 5-3 at La Flor, math that’s so easy even Jud gets it. Jane immediately tells Kelly B and Brenda not to trust Jill and Marty, which gets her an imaginary high-five from me. Jud tells Marty about NaOnka’s confrontation and how she claimed the HII for herself, and Marty can’t believe that the rest of her tribe would stand for that. He also comes clean that he has Espada’s HII, and shows it to everyone. Brenda tells us, in interview, that she can’t believe how arrogant and dumb Marty is to tip his hand like that when he's the short stack at the table (can you tell I've been watching the WSOP?), and though I don’t like Brenda, I think she’s right in this case.
Day 13 in Nicaragua has brought heavy winds with it, along with torrential rain that makes short work of Espada’s fire. NaOnka, bundled up in Espada’s shelter, tells us that she hates the rain, which makes her “lose it”. Ah, snap, you mean she’s gonna get WORSE? And plus: huh?! Survivor is not exactly the right show to join if you’re that opposed to rain! NaOnka looks utterly forlorn, and it’s Alina of all people who tries to console her, at least superficially; in truth, she still can’t stand NaOnka, and hopes she breaks down completely. Good girl. Chase also attempts to cheer her up, and honestly, he seems like a good guy. I’m just hoping that can reclaim his dignity being away from the vixenish Brenda now.
Immunity Challenge. The next morning brings a break in the storm, and I’m so glad we’re back to two challenges per show now. And this challenge is pretty elaborate: three members of each tribe will be lashed to a water wheel. While upside-down with their heads underwater, those members must take in a mouthful of water and then, after emerging, spit said water into a tube. Enough water in the tube will release a ball down a ramp, and another tribe member will take the ball and throw them at five ceramic tiles. First tribe to break all five tiles wins immunity. It eventually comes down to a tossing contest, but Jud and Jane outduel Benry and Tyrone and La Flor wins again. So Kelly B survives another week, and NaOnka will see her first TC since Episode 2 without her precious alliance or her HII. She even tells us as we go to commercial that she’s seriously contemplating quitting. Oh man, could I get that lucky?
Before they get into the scrambling for survival, Alina suggests that Espada make a meal of one of their chickens before going to TC, since there’s not much else to eat. Tyrone alone dissents, saying that they should keep all the chickens around for their eggs. But he is outvoted, and Chase does the honors. Of course, even this small act produces drama, because even though he dissented, Tyrone still claims what Chris Rock would deem “the big piece of chicken”, which is… just not cool. I know he’s the self-proclaimed leader of Espada, and maybe even the biggest guy there, but still… people have been voted off for much, much less than that. Benry begins to weigh the option of voting out Tyrone, who is strong but obnoxious, or NaOnka, who seems to have checked out mentally. Alina is more than delighted to oblige in sending NaOnka home, convinced that between her, Benry, Chase, and Holly, they can take control of Espada.
Tribal Council. Jeff asks Alina and Benry what life is like at Espada, and both explain that it’s way different than the laid-back La Flor camp, and that Tyrone runs a much tighter ship. Tyrone says that he likes the role of leader, but that he’ll try in the future not to be so bossy. Jeff then asks NaOnka how she’s holding up, and she says that being there is the hardest thing she’s done in her life, with her recent divorce coming in at #2, the difference being that she has a support system here that she didn’t have before. This amazes Jeff, who reminds NaOnka that her “support system” are also her competitors. Benry and Yve grudgingly confirm this, saying that it’s hard to ally themselves with someone whose heart isn’t in the game any more.
Voting time. Tyrone votes for NaOnka. We don’t see Benry’s vote, but he proclaims himself the new “King of Espada”, which suggests he’s voting for Tyrone. And that’s all the spoilers we get. Jeff collects the urn, and out come the slips. NaOnka. Tyrone. Tyrone. NaOnka. Tyrone. Tyrone. And… Tyrone. Which makes four older people gone in five TC’s. Sigh. And the shakeup aside, I don’t want this to be a young-people-only game. Tyrone made the mistake of proclaiming himself a leader in a game that hates leaders, and then compounded his mistake by helping himself too vigorously at dinnertime. And I was so hoping NaOnka’s infantile behavior would be in our rear-view next week.
Next week: Dan contemplates quitting. Marty brags about his prowess at chess, which I’m hoping will be relevant to the story. And there will be yet another twist at the Immunity Challenge.
