Last week, NaOnka was convinced she had the game in the bag. Over at Espada, Marty was thinking the same thing, curiously unconcerned about being down two members and blissfully unaware that everyone hates him. But TPTB waved their wands and presto-change-o, no more old vs. young, no more MoP. NaOnka, separated from the majority of her alliance and her HII, pissed and moaned about the existence of this thing called rainfall, but regrettably, survived Tribal Council. The oldsters are quickly becoming extinct, as fire captain Tyrone had his fire put out. Fifteen remain.
It’s Day 15 at Espada and another storm is rolling in. Shoeless Dan’s mood seems to be a reflection of the sky, and confides in Holly that he doesn’t think he can last another three weeks with a bum knee. Meanwhile, Yve is a little miffed that she wasn’t let it on the plan to vote out Tyrone; Holly says it was because she thought Yve and Tyrone were in an alliance, but Yve denies that. With Holly throwing in with the kids on her tribe and Dan with one foot out the door, this leaves Yve in a precarious position… and I hope she can work her way out of it, because I really like her so far. She’s probably my second-favorite castaway after Kelly B.
Over at La Flor, Marty and Jill commiserate, rather despondent that they’ve gone from a solid game plan to Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, which makes me chuckle a little bit. Brenda confirms that Marty and Jill will be next to go, since La Flor still contains five youngsters as well as Jane, who appears to have definitely switched sides. Brenda says the strategy is to have three people each vote for Marty and Jill, so if one of them plays the HII, the other will still go home. So as it stands right now, I’m beginning to wonder if any of the original Espada tribe will even make it to the jury!
Immunity/Reward Challenge. Unlike last week, where we had two challenges, we’re going straight into the Immunity Challenges, less than ten minutes in. Something’s gotta be up. And it is: Jeff announces that the players will not be competing for tribal immunity, but individual immunity. One person on each tribe will win it and be safe from the vote, because yes, both tribes will be going to TC tonight. Cool.
Here’s how it works: each player will go to an area of sand and dig up, one at a time, a “rope-ring” and flip it over their shoulder to a basket on their backs. The first to find all three wins individual immunity. Once the winner has been determined for both tribes, the two winners will compete in a game where they must hook their rope-rings into three hooks, and the first to accomplish this wins a shish kebab feast for their tribe while at TC. Fast forward five minutes, and the winners of immunity are Holly for Espada and Jill for La Flor. And in a close race for reward, Jill wins the feast for La Flor. So it looks like the final two-thirds of this episode is going to be all about pre-TC strategy and TC itself. Great. I’m jazzed, how about you?
So let the strategizing begin. With Jill winning immunity, Brenda and Sash weigh their options, and devise a similar strategy to the one they had before: three votes will go to Marty and the other three will go to Kelly B (NO!!), but they’ll tell Kelly B that the three votes will be for Jane. And darn it, it looks like she’s buying into Brenda’s bull. (NO!!) And speaking of bull, Marty’s laying it on with a shovel. He tells the 1970’s-sports-trivia-challenged Jud that he is a grandmaster at chess, and that when he was a kid he beat an Argentine grandmaster named Guillermo Vilas twice. I can only applaud such bare-faced BS: after all, Jud wasn’t even alive when Guillermo Vilas won four Grand Slam titles… in TENNIS. And whaddaya know, the big doof seems to be buying it. Marty tells Jud that if he joins an alliance with him, Jill and Jane (?!), they could swing the power their way.
Things seem to be far more cut and dried at Espada: Holly has immunity, and will throw her lot in with Alina, Benry, NaOnka and Chase to vote off either Dan or Yve. Yve seems the leading candidate right now, because Dan has done an about-face on his position from earlier that morning, and Benry tells Chase that Yve is far more of a threat than Dan is. Chase is cool with that, but adds in interview that he trusts NaOnka alone, and wouldn’t put it past Alina and Benry to switch sides in a heartbeat. NaOnka would rather it be Dan for the sake of everyone involved.
After the commercial, though exactly who is allied with whom is a little murky, it seems clear that Espada has to choose between keeping the tribe strong and vote out Dan, or vote out a potential threat in Yve. NaOnka tells Chase to go with his gut, but reiterates that they need to come to a consensus before TC. Thankfully, she turned down her volume level this week, so I’m grateful for small favors.
Back at La Flor, the kink in Marty’s plan has become a chasm. Jane tells Brenda that she’s with the youngsters and doesn’t owe one ounce of loyalty to Marty. Which I suppose she doesn’t, but I can’t help but wonder: if the last ten survivors are Jane and nine young people, who do she think will finish in tenth? Meanwhile, Sash lets Jud in on the plan to split the votes between Marty and Kelly B to flush out the HII, but Jud seems unsure. Sash then goes to work on Marty, who seems to convince him that Jane is the tribe’s choice to go. Ah, dude, you can’t be that dense!
Tribal Council (#1). Jeff opens the Q&A by asking Marty if he feels threatened by being outnumbered by the original La Florians, but he shrugs it off. Sash tells Jeff that Marty made his big strategic move immediately after the shake-up by revealing his HII. Jeff asks Marty if that was the right move to make, given that he might be going home if he doesn’t play it, but he’ll lose his safety net if he does, to which Marty replies he’s still weighing his options. He then asks both Kelly B and Jane if they feel safe (you ever get the feeling that Jeff gets hourly reports in black-leather-bound binders on the goings-on of tribal strategy?); Kelly B says she feels safe, and Brenda then reveals that Jane’s biggest threat is from Marty and Jill. Oh, boy, here we go. Marty back-pedals, telling Brenda flat-out that campaigning for Jane’s dismissal was not his plan, since Jill is his only ally and two votes are not enough to send Jane home. He then tells Jeff that he feels a lot less comfortable than he did when then came to TC. And then, very silently, Marty mouths to Jane “Vote for Brenda.” Jane looks dumbfounded. But chit-chat time is done, it’s voting time.
One by one they vote. Jane votes for Marty after all. Marty votes for Brenda. Brenda votes for Kelly B, and my jaw clenches a little bit. Jeff collects the urn, and then asks if anyone wants to play their HII. And Marty… does not. Out come the slips. Marty. Marty. Marty (spelled “Martie”). Brenda. Brenda. Kelly B. Kelly B. And… Kelly B. Damn. It. After all that foofaraw, Brenda’s plan works after all. It is tied 3-3.
This doesn’t happen often, so here’s how it works: there is another round of voting, and everyone except Marty and Kelly B will vote, and if there’s another tie, there will be a tie-breaker. So Round Two begins. One by one the six vote, and we don’t get any spoilers. Jeff collects the urn again, and out come the slips. Marty. Kelly B. Kelly B. Kelly B. And… Kelly B. And this season is now officially dead to me. Kelly B has her torched snuffed, and the rest of La Flor retires to the periphery of the TC to feast on kebabs and watch the debacle that’s about to ensue. (Personal note: yes, I know given that Kelly B was obviously the sympathetic vote, her chances of making it to the end were unlikely. But still, I’m going to miss having her around, because I admire the hell out of her.) Marty just shakes his head. According to him, he has one TC left after this one to play his HII, so you know that will be coming next week. Trouble is, he and Jill are now on a metaphorical island by themselves, and neither Jane nor Jud is coming to their rescue anytime soon.
Tribal Council (#2). Espada comes in as La Flor starts tucking in, and Alina looks very downtrodden that her best friend in the game is now gone. Jeff then tortures Espada a bit by forcing them to acknowledge the gluttony going on ten yards away, to which I say: not cool, JP. Yve knows what time it is, and begins by trying to paint Dan in as bad a light as possible, mentioning his numerous desires to quit. Benry agrees that Dan is a liability at challenges, but Dan plays it off as best he can. He then turns the spotlight on Yve, calling her arrogant. Yve retorts that she isn’t always bragging about her vast wealth, which Dan does. So it’s either tribal strength vs. tribal strategy, and we’ve been over this already, and I’m repeating myself, and it’s either going to be Dan or Yve, so can we get to the sodding vote already?
Voting time, part two (or is it three?). La Flor shoves a last few mouthfuls of food into their pieholes and departs, but not before Marty gives Dan a “good luck” nod on the way out. We only get two sneak previews of Espada’s votes: big shocker, Dan and Yve vote for each other. Jeff collects the urn, and for the final time this week, out come the slips. Yve. Dan. Yve. Yve. And… Yve. And someone up there must really hate me, because that is my two favorite contestants gone in the same damn hour. So who do I root for now? Everyone left is either a bitch, a jerk, a wuss, a weasel, a walking corpse, or guilty by association. I guess I’ll get behind Alina now, and Jane is not in my doghouse just yet. Everyone else can go hang for all I care.
Next week: there’ll be another episode. Tune in to see if I have the impetus to keep going.
