One of the prime rules of Survivor is that if you’re in control of the game, you don’t go out of your way to let people know it. Evil Russell is the exception to this rule, but in his two seasons of playing the game, he had everyone else so tied up in knots that he was somehow able to keep the people who wanted him out in the minority. This season, the contestants are less easily cowed, more opportunistic, and definitely more about the individual game-playing. Brenda strutted around like La Reina de Nicaragua, and seven people that don’t like to be controlled finally realized that she still only gets to vote once. Even her #1 ally Sash saw the writing on the wall, and declined the opportunity to use his HII to save her, and thus she became the third member of the jury. NaOnka, along with eight people still unfortunate enough to have to spend 24/7 with NaOnka’s horrible mouth, remain.
(Author’s note: due to a slight snafu with my DVR, I was only able to record the final 45 minutes of tonight’s episode. Therefore, until such time as this episode becomes available on CBS.com, what happened in the first fifteen minutes will have to be inferred by what happens afterward. This includes the pre-credits return from TC, and the drama/strategy that unfolded the followed morning.)
I joined the episode at the Reward Challenge, which turns out to be a shameless plug for the upcoming Jack Black movie Gulliver’s Travels. I’ve seen the trailers, and it looks harmless enough, but I am not Black’s biggest fan, so I’m still on the fence about seeing it. Anyway, two teams of four have to untie a heavy eight-foot Gulliver dummy and carry it bodily through an obstacle course of fences and ropes. The winning team will be whisked away to a makeshift cinema, where they will enjoy a sneak preview of the movie along with traditional theater fare like nachos, hot dogs, popcorn and candy.
After a neck-and-neck race, it is the team of Chase, Holly, NaOnka and Benry that wins, and they will be joined by Dan, who sat out the race and correctly picked the winning team. However, it is the post-challenge wrap-up when things get interesting. NaOnka says that she gave the challenge her all, because that’s just who she is, but that she will be quitting that day. And then, moments later, Kelly S says that she, too, will be bowing out. (Apparently the ten minutes I missed was a doozy.) They say that living on what little rations they have that survived the fire, which amounts to a few spoonfuls of rice per day, has caused them to question whether they have the strength to last another eleven days.
So though Jeff didn’t say word one about the food-destroying fire at the previous TC, he makes the winning team a deal: if one of them would agree to forego the reward, he will give the remaining castaways a replacement tarp and enough rice to last everyone for the duration. Holly looks expectantly at NaOnka, who not surprisingly doesn’t budge. Finally, Holly steps forward and takes the bullet for her team, which makes the losing foursome very happy. Holly tells us in interview that NaOnka, one of the few people she had a positive relationship with, showed her true personality by not stepping forward. Jeff then gives NaOnka and Kelly S the day to think about changing their minds, lest they join the ranks of the many forgotten players who quit before.
Back at camp, Holly, the woman of the hour, lets the Fabio and Sash put up the new tarp while she and Kelly S go to get some firewood, which they’ll need because a storm’s a-brewing. While doing this, she turns on the motherly charm and tries to talk Kelly S out of quitting. She correctly explains that if it’s a lack of fire or viable food that she’s worrying about, that problem’s been taken care of, but quitting is a stigma that lasts forever. Kelly S then says that the game has also taken an emotional toll on her, and having to put up with that for 28 days has driven her to the brink of breakdown. Holly responds by telling her a story about how her daughters wanted to quit their cross-country team, but Holly wouldn’t allow it, and they ended up winning their state championship. Which, if true, says a lot about Holly. And if it’s a lie, then I still like Holly, because it’s exactly what Kelly S needs to hear right now, especially when you consider that it was Jimmy J that talked Holly out of quitting in the first week. And suddenly, I have someone new to root for in this game. I also hope that neither Holly nor anyone else will talk NaOnka out of quitting, because she’s just not worth it.
I won’t say much about the reward that Benry, Chase, Dan and NaOnka get to enjoy, except to say that the structure the creators constructed actually looks pretty nice. The screen the movie is shown on reminds me of those screens that they showed movies on in grade school, but otherwise it’s quite cool. Good thing there’s no cashier there, because the amount of food and drink they consume would be enough to pay a month’s rent for me. (You know theater prices.) NaOnka says that giving up her reward for rice and a tarp would have been foolish, even though she’s stepping down, which, whatever, bitch, don’t let the door hit you in the brain on the way out. Both Benry and Chase echo my thoughts while they're watching the movie.
That night, after dark, while Jane and Holly continue to cook the rice, Fabio mentions that quitting is not an option for him. Kelly S is still considering her options before tonight’s TC, and I have to say… huh? No Immunity Challenge? Did I miss something? When was the last time they had a TC where no one whatsoever had immunity?
Tribal Council. The nine remaining players regroup at TC as a downpour is starting, and they are immediately thereafter joined by the three-strong jury of Alina, Marty and Brenda, who I must say, cleans up real nice. Jeff then clears up the mystery by saying that tonight’s TC was prompted solely by the events of that morning, and both Alina’s and Marty’s jaws drop when they here that there may be not one, but two potential quitters.
Jeff opens the Q&A by asking Holly to recount the period early in the game when she contemplated quitting, and again, she states that it was good old Jimmy J who talked her out of it. Jane adds that she never doubted that she had the drive to go all the way, and wishes that neither of them would quit. Jeff then asks NaOnka what started her thought process, and she said it was the combination of rain and wind that made her joints ache terribly, after which there is a cut to Dan – who has been on two horrendously bad knees since the first week – giving a terrific "WTF" face. Kelly S tells a similar story.
Benry responds that quitting should never be an option, ever. Fabio adds that he and Kelly S are only one year apart in age, but that wild horses couldn’t drag him away. Jeff then asks NaOnka about the Reward Challenge, and she smirks that she had a terrific time while Holly sadly shakes her head. Jeff then asks her directly if she thinks she has any shot at winning the million dollars, and NaOnka responds in the affirmative, which has Marty quietly cracking up in the jury box. Jeff, who I think sometimes would have been a great lawyer in another life, queries why NaOnka herself didn’t give up the reward for the tarp and rice, and she pitifully responds that she wanted to “go out with a bang.” Everyone in attendance shakes their head, quietly grateful that the Mistress of Bullcrap is but minutes away from leaving.
I simply must relay something that Jane says, whice is just so awesome I feel I must quote it in its entirety: “The young kids are going to find out that life is not a piece of cake unless they got an easy ride from their parents. You don’t have a clue what’s around the corner. Life is full of rocky roads. Life is not an easy ride for 90% of the people out there. And with the economy the way it is right now, jobs are scarce, so if you don’t have some sort of drive and determination to show an employer that you’re better than somebody else, you’re not going to get hired. There’s people out there that’s a whole lot worse off than us right now, and they’re not playing Survivor. We are.” And that, folks, is the kind of wisdom that a long life lived on this planet gets you.
But apparently no amount of tarps, rice, or pep talks in the world are enough to sway either NaOnka’s or Kelly S’s decision. Jeff asks them flat-out if they are quitting, and both of them say yes. Marty hangs his head and says, “I can’t believe it”. And I have to agree. These two are going to leave, go to whatever cushy place the jury members are sequestered in, get a hot shower, sufficient food and medical care, and be back in the jury box next week. Which just seems wrong.
I am of the opinion that if you sign up for a game, a game that millions of people watch, a game that thousands would give one of their non-vital organs to participate in, and you find out that after twenty goddamn SEASONS, it’s not as easy as it looks (heaven forbid), and you feel that you must quit, so be it, get the hell out, I have no sympathy whatsoever for you. There’s no way on God's Green that I would be able to make it through 39 days on this show, which is why I have no intention of ever trying. It would be pure selfishness for me to take the spot of a person who has a way more legitimate shot of winning. NaOnka and Kelly S are not the first contestants to voluntarily quit the game, and they probably won’t be the last. But because they are quitting, they shouldn’t be allowed to have a say in who wins. Quitting means quitting, and their two jury votes should be forfeited. But that’s just me.
Jeff tells NaOnka and Kelly S that he will snuff their torches, but that the torches will remain at TC to remind them, every time they return with the jury, of their decision. Well, it’s not a big scarlet “Q” embroidered on their clothes, but I’ll take it. Marty gives that decree a thumbs-up, but mouths how disgusting it is that two quitters got further in the game than he. One at a time, Jeff snuffs their torches and sends them away, leaning the torches against a nearby wall. He then tells the seven remaining players that there are ten days left, and it’s game on.
Next week: knives are sharpened, both literally and figuratively. The endgame begins.
