Last week, Evil Russell was voted out and sent to Redemption Island. Did anyone NOT see this coming? I mean, you can’t fault the contestants in Survivor: Samoa for believing his two-faced lies and fish stories – they had no reason not to. The villains in the Heroes vs. Villains season, on the other hand, knew what kind of player he was, and kept him around anyway. This season, however, the casting directors at CBS finally fielded a group of castaways who know exactly what Russell was going to do before he actually did it. He stole the clue to the HII and lied about it, not even knowing that Ralph had already found the damn thing. He roped in the two youngest girls, believing that once again, three would give him sufficient numbers. Wrong again. Six tough, savvy, strong-willed people refused to let Russell spin his web of lies for a third time (in fact, they wanted him out so badly they threw the Immunity Challenge to make it happen), and now Russell’s only chance of survival in the game is to win a plethora of duels, the first of which will come tonight.
Redemption Island, Night Eight. Matt is not all that surprised to see Russell, stating that he expected to see him sooner or later, but was leaning toward “later”. Russell pisses and moans about how his dumb tribe threw the challenge to vote him out and they’re all dumb liars and blah blah fishcakes. Russell then interviews that he will defeat Matt (even though he was expecting Francesca) because of the sheer power of his Russell-ness. Matt does appreciate the irony, however, of bunking with Russell after being blindsided by Boston Rob.
The next morning at Ometepe, Special Agent Crazypants struts around in his pink underpants, sweeping dirt in random directions with a makeshift broom. The rest of his tribe are unsurprisingly repelled by this image, because apparently his undies do such a poor job of concealing Phillip’s junk that it has to be blurred out. In interview, Phillip says that he feels frustrated at being the outsider, but that he will do whatever it takes to win $1 million. Except, I’m guessing, not go off at Tribal Council. Or stop bragging about his past, being arrogant and interrupting people. Or reduce his creepiness factor by three-quarters. Or use his CIA training to fashion a sufficiently-sized loincloth or something. Or, you know, actually find a way to RELATE to his tribemates. Or… ah, you get the point. This guy makes my teeth itch too.
At Zapatera, Russell’s “concubines”, Krista and Stephanie, are wondering what their next move is, now that the wagon they hitched themselves to has been reduced to kindling. Krista thinks that their only hope is to find the HII, which ain’t gonna happen. It’s rather poetic, you know, that if Russell gets past Matt, his next two duels may very well be against his only two allies in the game. But I’ve said it before: that’s what you get.
Ralph decides that it is time to let his alliance know about his HII, and they are all tickled pink that it’s out of the hands of Krista and Stephanie, which means they are in total control, and one big happy family. Which, in turn, makes me wonder what’s going to happen three Tribal Councils down the road.
Duel #2. With Phillip, Kristina, Ralph and Sarita in attendance, Jeff outlays the challenge: Russell and Matt must stack wooden blocks like dominos over a tilting, winding path of planks. They must do so while avoiding trip wires that could cause the blocks to tumble prematurely. The first one to successfully line up enough dominoes that having them fall causes a ball to be released and smash a ceramic tile wins.
So they start placing their blocks. They seem about neck-and-neck for a few minutes, and then Matt decides to give it a go, but his row of dominoes stops about halfway through and he has to start over. Russell then decides to take a stab, but his row stops about two-thirds through. This allows Matt a second crack at it, and, with Russell watching, he manages to topple the entire stack. He wins, and Russell is out. For good. And believe you me, defeat is a bitter pill for Russell to swallow. He starts to tear up, in fact.
Jeff asks why the sudden display of emotion, and Russell responds that it’s just frustration at being taken out by people who don’t respect the game. Ah, yes, one last dig at his tribe. In the stands, Ralph brags that he found the HII on the first day. This is great info for the listening Phillip, who tells Ralph that he’ll be playing his HII if Phillip has anything to do with it. (This is the first - and only - moment I’ve actually liked Phillip.) Russell then throws out that Sarita, Mike and Steve are also part of the alliance at Zapatera, and Phillip just drinks it in. Russell’s last viperous spit is that if Ometepe wins eliminates Zapatera, he wins. He interviews that he will not be returning for a fourth go-round, as he has nothing left to prove, and congratulates Matt, who really earned the kudos today. And then he’s gone. No puff of black smoke, regrettably… that would have been a nice touch.
Back at Ometepe, Boston Rob has devised a particularly ingenious plan to get his tribemates out of camp so he can search for the HII. He plans a “beach day” for his alliance, and while most of them are chillaxing on the sand, he feigns a bout of constipation and goes off to search for it. See, THIS is what I’m talking about. I remember on the Heroes vs. Villains season, Rob was a little flummoxed as to why he was put on the Villains tribe, where he went tete-a-tete with Russell and lost. I don’t see him as a villain. He can be a bit smarmy and arrogant sometimes, but there have been players dubbed “heroes” that share those qualities.
Rob is a very friendly and personable guy, but more than that, he’s smart. Every time he’s played the game, the game has changed from the time before, and he’s learned how to adapt to those changes. He’ll still stab people in the back, but he’ll use a velvet glove and not a metal gauntlet to hold the knife, if you understand my metaphor. That’s something Russell should have learned, but never did. My final thought on Russell: he and Rob were obviously brought back as a ratings ploy, but Rob was a terrific choice. Russell, not so much; I can think of a dozen former contestants that would have been better choices.
So anyway, knowing that he has only a few scant minutes before he’s missed, Rob sprints into the woods to search, looking in obvious places like fallen logs, under rocks, etc. Finally, after about fifteen minutes of searching in the branches of trees, he locates it, hidden in plain sight in the joint of a forked trunk, about eight feet off the ground. That’s awesome, Rob. I’m now fully on your bandwagon.
At Zapatera, Krista and Stephanie take the news of Russell’s ousting with frustrated resignation. The rest of the tribe was relieved, of course, and thankfully, the discussion of what went on after Matt’s victory was relatively brief.
Phillip has decided, with Kristina’s help, to keep their knowledge abut Zapatera a secret (specifically, that Ralph has the HII), and would divulge that info to Rob only if Rob agreed to take them both to the merge with him. Kristina looks pained that Phillip is the closest thing she has to an ally. Feel ya, sister. So Phillip lobbies Rob to keep Kristina around in exchange for the dirt on Zapatera; Rob agrees, even though he has no intention of doing it. Phillip says that Sarita is in charge and Ralph has the HII. Rob, who also brought Grant along for the stroll, basically pats Phillip on the head and tells him good job. Then Grant pleads to Rob to get rid of Phillip, who it’s now crystal clear cannot be trusted.
Immunity Challenge. Another obstacle course, this one involving Craftsman tools. The teams must 1) use a crowbar to open a crate and retrieve a shovel; 2) use the shovel to dig up an ax; 3) use the axe to chop a log, releasing two saws; 4) use the saws to saw planks off a wall; 5) use the planks to create a bridge to the finish line, and 6) use a hammer to pound three nails through a 2x4, breaking the tiles underneath. Winning team gets immunity and a “barbecue set”, including grill and assorted meats and vegetables. Zapatera takes the early lead, and while Ometepe makes it interesting at the end, it’s not enough, and Zapatera takes back immunity… and momentum.
We do get some footage of Zapatera’s barbecue feast. The mood is very jovial, considering they’ve won three of four IC’s and the one they lost, they threw. Which is a fair point; Boston Rob’s got to rally his troops, quickly. Speaking of which, Phillip pathological need to orate crops up again, telling his team that they lost, but it was still a good effort. And six people watch him do it, and to a man they are all clearly sick of listening to him, as well as looking at him. Kristina, smartly, decides that bashing Phillip behind his back will win her points with the rest of the group.
Kristina’s other play is to spread the seeds of suspicion about the HII. She tells Natalie and Ashley that it’s back in play, and it’s weird that a clue hasn’t turned up so far. Of course, all this does is convince Natalie that Kristina has it. She relays her fears to Rob, who, naturally, is keeping mum about the fact that he has both the clue AND the HII. His plan, therefore, is to split their five votes between Kristina and Phillip, citing that Kristina’s cunning is a far more dangerous foe than Phillip’s bats**t craziness. However, most of his alliance doesn’t see it that way, and Rob decides whether capitulating to the needs of his “people” may be the best way to keep them in line. When Phillip asks Rob what the plan is, Rob tells him that it’s Kristina. Since this goes against what Rob promised Phillip earlier, it is now Phillip’s plan to raise hell at TC. Oh, crap.
Tribal Council. Jeff opens the Q&A by asking Kristina if she’s still on the hot seat, like she was the last two TC’s, and she responds in the affirmative, and states that she wants to be part of Ometepe’s solution rather than the problem. Natatlie and Grant agree that a second chance might be in the cards for Kristina, but I’m not sure about their sincerity. Rob throws cold water on the topic by saying that Kristina chose to be an outsider for the first week of the game; joining the group after that may be too little, too late.
Jeff then asks Kristina why someone should go home tonight, and she points to Phillip and his disruptiveness. He responds that at least he’s working around camp and not just showing up at mealtime with an empty plate. Kristina says she contributes plenty, which he scoffs at. Phillip then tells his whole freakin’ life story like that alone should garner him respect. Realizing that it’s clearly going to be her or Phillip, Kristina pleads to the rest of the tribe to keep her around.
Voting time, and a brisk rain has just started to fall. Phillip and Kristina vote for each other, surprising no one. The other five votes are not shown. Jeff collects the urn, and since obviously no HII is going to be played that night, out come the slips. Phillip. Kristina. Phillip. Kristina. Phillip. Kristina. And… Kristina. Wow. Guess Rob’s word is law after all. And that sucks, because I really like Kristina, and because it means Special Agent Crazypants will be around for at least one more week. Kristina’s torch is snuffed, and off she goes for a duel with Matt. I give her odds of victory at 4-1.
Next week: Stephanie and Krista go into game mode, turning the rest of Zapatera against each other. And you’ll never guess how Phillip acts! (Hint… starts with C, ends with Y.)
