Last week, sixteen fresh-faced Survivor contestants were dropped onto the rainy beaches of Nicaragua, ready for the challenge of a new season. Jeff told them about Redemption Island, and then informed them that two seasoned veterans would be joining them: “Boston” Rob Mariano would lead the Ometepe Tribe, and “Evil” Russell Hantz would be inflicted on the Zapatera Tribe. Of course, Russell being Russell, he won’t be able to move a muscle without being vigorously scrutinized, and rightly so, but since Zapatera won the first Immunity Challenge, any drama on that front was put on the backburner. Boston Rob wasted no time in gathering the five Ometepe contestants that were younger than he onto his side, which left the three elder members scrambling. Kristina displayed initiative and found the HII without any clues, and shared the news with Francesca. Unfortunately, they were short on numbers so they decided to enlist “former Special Agent” Phillip into their alliance, and at Tribal Council, Phillip proved that he had not one clue how to play this game, spilled all of his alliances secrets, and personally helped Francesca be the first contestant to be kicked to Redemption Island. I am extremely worried for Kristina, and hope against hope that Special Agent Crazypants is the next to go.
Night Three. Francesca arrives on Redemption Island, where a makeshift hut is already in place, upon whose wall is listed a placard with the rules of the place, most of which you already know. Additionally, she will be given a small amount of rice and drinking water to sustain herself, along with flint and a few other things. Good to see that they don’t expect her to construct her own shelter or root for truffles on her own. As she attempts to use her legal skills to get a fire going, she says that she’d rather be there then back at camp with Phillip. Word, sister.
Ometepe returns to camp and it seems that Phillip has cast his lot in with Boston Rob, which leaves Kristina all by her lonesome, with the HII her only ally at the moment. Phillip assures Rob “you own my vote” until such time as he gets shipped to Redemption Island (henceforth abbreviated as RedIsle). Which is just fine with Rob, who hilariously interviews that while Phillip may be a decent guy, he may not be “all there”. Quoth Rob: “Government jobs… stressful!” He then tells his alliance that Phillip will be going next. Yay.
The next morning finds Phillip, clad in his underwear, hunting crabs… with a spear. While he gets in touch with his “primal” self, the rest of Ometepe watches in amusement, and Matt puts on his best Steve Irwin voice and does hilarious commentary, and that gives him a few points in my book. Then we are subjected to more of Phillip’s self-aggrandizing puffery about what a patriot and a stand-up guy he is, and he actually starts tearing up, and, holy CRAP, dude. Are you for real? Is Phillip a real person or a cartoon character who was drawn in to the show? I’d be very careful around him and sharp objects.
Over at Zapatera, the pot’s already stirring. Good ol’ boy Ralph starts the day by imitating a rooster crowing, and within seconds we hear Russell slamming Ralph on how dumb he is. He also elaborates on how he’s “got” Stephanie on his side, and now wants to rope in Krista to form his patented Unholy Triad, which, as before, consists of him and the two youngest girls. He gives Krista the usual Russell speech and then, satisfied, starts his hunt for the HII, with Steve and Mike watching from a distance. But, hysterically, it’s Ralph who finds it first, in a hollowed-out fallen log. Hee hee! Who’s the dummy now, Russ?
Day 5. It seems that the first flirtations of the season are between Matt and Andrea, who seem to have hit it off already. This worries Rob a little bit, because he knows just how powerful a two-person alliance can become. Rob seems to have chosen young Natalie has his confidant, and together they mull over whether they should send Phillip to RedIsle next or whether to nip Matt and Andrea’s partnership in the bud.
Reward/Immunity Challenge. This challenge is done in two parts: five tribe members swim a pool, climb a ladder and retrieve a key; a sixth person will use the keys to open a chest and retrieve a leaden ball; the remaining two will use the ball to smash five ceramic tiles at various distances. First team to smash all the tiles wins Immunity and fishing gear, which also includes swim fins and a scuba mask. It’s neck-and-neck pretty much the whole way, and it comes down to a tossing contest between Ralph and Phillip, which Ralph wins by a nose, sending Ometepe to Tribal Council for the second straight week. Sucks to be you, Phillip. Matt, in a display of sportsmanship, goes and shakes Zapatera’s hands, which pisses off Rob something awful. Something tells me this might have an impact on the vote.
Russell made it a point to grab the basket with the fishing gear, and as soon as they get back to camp, Russell finds and locates the HII clue and surreptitiously slips it in his bag. Not surreptitiously enough to evade Ralph’s notice, however, and Ralph interviews how amusing it is that Evil Predictable Russell just keeps playing the game the same way he always does, unaware that Ralph is now calling the shots. Ralph tells David, Julie, Mike, Sarita and Steve what Russell did… however, he neglects to mention that he found the HII himself. Hmm. This is dangerous ground, Ralph, be careful.
Things come to a head when Mike and Ralph confront Russell about the clue, which Russell flatly denies. Russell then tries to deflect by getting huffy with Ralph in a typically Russell form of intimidation. Ralph just walks away, content now that he’s caught Russell in a barefaced lie AND secure in that he’s already got the HII. Russell then makes some “oh, not he di’in’t” faces in interview. To be continued.
Before we get to Ometepe’s latest scrambling for position, we take a side-trip to RedIsle. Francesca has received a journal to write down her thoughts, and she wonders just what the upcoming duel will entail. (Wondering that myself… I presume each duel will be different, but we’ll see, won’t we?) She hopes that the duel is immediate and that she won’t be forced to cohabitate with anyone – especially Phillip, of course.
No sooner does Ometepe return to camp than Phillip has to open his yap and call a town meeting, using his annoying oratory and elocution skills to apologize for not bringing victory home, and that he doesn’t plan to scramble to try to save himself. Works for me! However, Rob is still apparently undecided between voting out Phillip or Matt, who he can’t believe has gone into the diplomatic endgame-mode on only Day 5. What I find really interesting about all that’s happened so far is that, near as I can figure, the heat seems to temporarily be off of Kristina. However, either I’m not getting the whole picture, or Kristina knows something that I don’t, because she says in interview that she feels that she has no choice but to play the HII, lest they decide to blindside her.
So Rob’s plan is to put four votes against Matt, but to tell Matt and Andrea that they’re going to split to vote between Phillip and Kristina. Matt and Andrea apparently have no idea what’s going on in Rob’s head, and they appear to go along with the plan. Say what you want about Rob, he’s an excellent strategist. If this works, Rob will kill two birds with one stone: he’ll rid himself of a potential threat and get Kristina to waste her HII. So, going into TC: Rob, Grant, Ashley and Natalie will vote for Matt; Matt will vote Phillip; Andrea will vote Kristina. This will make Kristina’s and Phillip’s vote totally irrelevant, and Matt will head to RedIsle for the duel with Francesca. Matt is reluctant to let Phillip in on this plan, for obvious reasons. He convinces Phillip to act like it’s going to be him, but won’t reveal who to vote for until the last minute.
Tribal Council. Jeff opens the Q&A by asking Kristina why she chose not to play the HII at the last TC, and she responds by stating she just had a feeling it wasn’t the right time. Jeff then asks Phillip if his “inner animal” has come out yet, and Phillip shows off his tats: a gorilla on one arm, a lion on the other. I’m at a loss for words. Phillip, who finally seems to be getting the subterfuge angle, plays his part to the hilt that he’s resigned to being voted out. Matt is asked whether Phillip deserves to go, and he responds that it’s unfair to send him packing for one challenge mishap (really, it was very close between him and Ralph), but that’s the game. Jeff then asks Matt if RedIsle is a topic of conversation, and he replies that the two biggest unknowns are how many people will be rejoining the game (uh… it’s just one, RIGHT?) and exactly when. Jeff keeps mum about both details.
Voting time. Matt votes for Phillip. Phillip votes for Kristina. Kristina votes for Phillip. Rob, presumably, votes for Matt. Jeff collects the urn, and, true to her word, Kristina plays her HII. Darn. Well, from where she’s sitting, I’d probably have done the same thing. Out come the slips. Kristina. Kristina. Phillip. Phillip. Matt. Matt. (Cut to Matt, clearly surprised. Andrea puts her hand over her mouth.) Matt. And… Matt. Well, I told you in the season preview that the Fabio lookalike couldn’t win twice in a row. Matt’s torch is snuff, and off he goes to RedIsle, still shaking his head in amazement. As the credits roll, Francesca can’t believe who her first opponent is.
Next week: Andrea is PISSED. Russell thinks he still has the upper hand. And, presumably, we get to see the season’s first duel. It’s Matt vs. Francesca! Back in seven for the smackdown!
