Hello, all. Welcome one and all to this, the recap marking the beginning of the 23rd season of Survivor. I have recapped this longest-lived of reality competitions for two seasons now, and I think you’ll agree, it is a show that hasn’t changed at its core, but it bears little resemblance to the show that debuted back in 2000. The producers have changed it and tweaked it and added new facets to it almost every step of the way, thus keeping the show flexible and unexpected. But it is still the fiercest, grittiest reality competition there is.
Normally, I would have done a preview of the season prior to the premiere, wherein I would go down the list of all the new contestants and give my initial impressions of each, and I apologize profusely about not doing that this time. My hectic personal schedule, the Diamondbacks pennant chase and the concluding episodes of America’s Got Talent have occupied all my thoughts, and the season premiere of Survivor: South Pacific snuck up on me so fast (honestly, I did not see ONE single commercial advertising it, but that’s because there wasn’t a single show on CBS that I watched over the summer, darn it) that it was upon me before I could even think about it.
I’m assuming that if you’re reading this, you either watched the show or really wanted to, so you’ll forgive me if spend a lot of this recap “winging it”, as I’m going into the show completely blind, beyond what I read on Wikipedia. This will be the third season that Redemption Island (aka “RedIsle”) is used, and it will be the second straight season that both teams will be joined by previous, noteworthy contestants. Last season, “Evil Russell” Hantz and “Boston Rob” Mariano resumed their grudge-match that began on the Heroes vs. Villains season, and while Russell went back to his old playbook and was voted out early, Boston Rob sailed through the season, controlling every aspect, anticipating every outcome, forging alliances with the right people and discarding the rest when he no longer needed them, but doing it in such a way that everyone still liked the guy. He played the most perfect season Survivor is ever likely to see, which means South Pacific will probably automatically be a lot more chaotic by comparison.
Anyway, before I even roll the tape, here is a rundown of the tribes and the competitors that will be gracing our screens for the next few months, along with their ages, hometowns and professions:
Savaii Tribe
Mark Anthony Caruso, 48, Forest Hills, NY, retired NYPD detective.
John Cochran, 24, Oakton, VA, Harvard law student.
Whitney Duncan, 27, Nashville, TN, country music singer.
Dawn Meehan, 41, South Jordan, UT, English professor at Brigham Young.
Jim Rice, 35, Denver, CO, medical marijuana dispenser. (?!)
Semhar Tadesse, 24, Los Angeles, CA, spoken word artist.
Keith Tollefson, 26, San Diego, CA, water treatment tech.
Elyse Umemoto, 27, Las Vegas, NV, dance team manager.
Savaii will be joined by Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth, the curly-haired, swarthy, good-looking kid who proved himself and exceptional athlete on Survivor: Cook Islands, but was criticized for being too much of a loner, and ended up falling one vote short of victory that season.
Upolu Tribe
Sophie Clarke, 22, Willsboro, NY, medical student.
Albert Destrade, 26, Plantation, FL, basketball/dating coach.
Brandon Hantz*, 19, Katy, TX, oil tanker crewman.
Edna Ma, 35, Los Angeles, CA, anesthesiologist.
Rick Nelson, 51, Aurora, UT, cattle rancher.
Stacey Powell, 44, Grand Prairie, TX, funeral director/mortician.
Christine Shields Markoski, 39, Merrick, NY, teacher.
Mikayla Wingle, 22, Tampa, FL, lingerie football player. (?!)
Note: the asterisk (“*”) by Brandon’s name is significant because yes, Brandon IS, in fact, Evil Russell’s nephew. Can’t wait to see how similar their game plans are, and if he’s smart enough to keep that little tidbit to himself. The previous contestant joining Upolu is Benjamin “Coach” Wade, the youth leader and samurai enthusiast who appeared on both the Tocantins and Heroes vs. Villains season. At first, I hated Coach for his arrogance, but he seems to have mellowed since then, and by his second go-round he turned into a real stand-up guy.
While the sixteen first-timers are rowing to the island and Ozzy and Coach are being choppered in, a few castaways are given some face-time, though we aren’t given their names, though one of them I was able to deduce as Rick, who comes in wearing full cattle-ranch regalia: boots, black cowboy hat and a Doc Holliday mustache. Another is Stacey, a strong-looking African-American lady. Until I find out about her, I’m going to root for her, because the last two seasons have not been good for black women: Francesca was the first one out last season and, well, memories of NaOnka from last year still give me hives. Then we meet Brandon, who does bear some resemblance to Russell, but I like him immediately when he says he’s out to change his family’s “reputation”. He does have one problem, however… he has his surname tattooed on both his upper arm and his neck, so if he has to take his shirt off, he may be screwed. The rest of the group we’ll have to do as we go along, because I’m already short on space.
The tribes are gathered on the beach, and Ozzy and Coach are dropped off. Both receive a warm round of applause, though the crowd seems to automatically like Ozzy more. Nerdy-looking John explains that he prefers going by his last name for game purposes, so will henceforth be known as “Cochran”. Whatever. Jeff explains about Redemption Island and then immediately throws them into their first challenge. Wow, that was quick!
Reward Challenge. Actually, it’s just a challenge that involves Ozzy and Coach climbing a 12-foot pole, retrieving a wooden turtle, and then digging under a log, and finally completing a puzzle called the “Tower of Hanoi” with the turtle as the top piece. The winner gets flint for building fire, and a basket of taro, a staple of the South Pacific similar to the potato. The puzzle is complicated, and neither player is a natural like Boston Rob, and so both required help from their tribe, but Upolu starts gibbering conflicting advice at poor Coach, and Ozzy ends up winning. Jeff gives both tribes the map to their camps, and sends them on their way. On the way out, Coach pauses to get his things, and all but one of Upolu seems content to just leave him behind, the one exception being Edna a pretty Asian woman who gets on my good side by offering to help him out. Yes, Coach has a reputation for being kind of looney-tunes, and he knows it, and immediately wonders if he’ll be the first to go. Gee, I hope not.
At Savaii’s camp, introductions are made. Poet Semhar is asked to recite something on the spot, and it seems to go over well. Ozzy says that it’s the best tribe he’s ever been on, and proposes that they all go swimming. Seriously, dude? This isn’t spring break? You’re going to need shelter and food by nightfall! Everyone is game, however, except for Cochran, who is a little conscientious about exposing people to his skinny frame, pale skin and utterly unsexy body. But he sucks it up and goes anyway, hysterically calling himself the “zero in Tribe 90210”. Hee hee, I think I like him. Nerd solidarity, you know.
Upolo, meanwhile, gets right to work building the shelter, while Coach tries to get the spotlight off of himself, explaining that he’s not a strategic player, and that seems to satisfy them for now. Sophie reveals that she graduated from college only four days before, and she and Coach discover that they both speak Russian. Interesting. Anyway, Coach gives the team the benefit of his experience, but not doing it in a way where he’s really taking charge, and that’s the best way to go right now: show them you’re valuable, but don’t force it down their throats. Edna seems to be Coach’s biggest ally. Christine, who dissed Coach right from the get-go, tells everyone she’s going for firewood, but it’s not hard to guess what THAT’S code for. And sure enough, soon she’s turning over rocks looking for the HII. And she doesn’t even confine her search to an area where the rest of the tribe can’t see her, which is just stupid. She’ll probably be the first to go.
In the ocean off of Savaii’s beach, Jim decides not to reveal his true profession (can’t blame him), but rather claims to be a high school teacher. In interview, however, he admits to owning two companies and being a champion-level poker player, so that’s probably smart, because well-to-do players tend not to win this game, ever. Retired cop Mark admits to being gay (wow, would never have thought that to look at him) and likes to be called “Papa Bear”. Cute. Eventually, the group-bonding exercise ends, and Dawn wonders when the more practical matters will take precedence. Because while building a team is key to winning, it will all break down the moment you set foot in Tribal Council.
I have no idea what a “lingerie football player” is, but to Mikayla’s credit, she’s not taking the role of eye candy, as she really goes all-out to help get the shelter built. Still, Brandon gets negative vibes from her, calling her “Delilah”, and another schism is born. Brandon then reveals that not only is he a born-again Christian, but is also married, at the tender age of 19. Wow, this is some family. As night falls, the shelter is completed and Coach confabs with some of his tribemates, and lets them know in no uncertain terms that while winning rewards is great, winning immunity is the most crucial part of the game. He then illustrates that having a five-strong, solid alliance is another great strategy, and so it would seem that the first voting block is formed, consisting of Coach, Brandon, Albert, Rick and Sophie.
Day 2. Dawn is the first to feel the effects of outdoor living, but the person she confides in is, naturally, Mark, the only other over-40 player on Savaii. Mark reminds her that ageism is a Survivor trademark, so she can’t show any weakness. But show it she does, in front of Ozzy. Being a mother of six, Dawn wants to be the leader, and Ozzy reminds her that she’s merely human, after all, and that all she needs is some inner fortitude. And then, finally, they start building a shelter before morale breaks down completely.
Brandon catches the first fish of the day, but it’s a tiny one. He espouses yet again that he will not play his uncle’s game, and will be very social. Sophie, who seems to be very wily for being as young as she is, can’t shake the feeling that Brandon is hiding something very big. Oh, you just KNOW this is going to come out. Should be fun.
Immunity Challenge. The first IC of the season is always a grueling one, stressing teamwork and stamina, and this is no exception. Climbing large walls, digging in sand-pits, and finally, some coconut-basketball, the whole shebang. Cool and calm, Coach leads Upolu to an early lead, and it ends up holding up, thanks in great part to the efforts of, ironically, Brandon and Mikayla. Things did not go well for Savaii, especially Semhar, whose lack of aim on the coconut-shooting made them fall just inches short of victory, a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jim, who appears to have a chip on his shoulder. Upolu gets the Immunity Idol, flint for fire, and notification from Jeff that first clue for an HII is hidden at their camp. Wait, so not only is the HII hidden, but the clue is, too? That’s a new twist.
Back at camp, Semhar is very contrite and takes responsibility for the loss, and is pissed at Jim for making sarcastic faces at her. Jim apologizes, but Semhar knows she’s a target now. Brutal honesty is a worthy character trait, but it tends to be detrimental in most Survivor strategies. Mark tells Dawn that he’s got her back, and both agree that it’s best for the tribe to vote Semhar out. Ozzy, meanwhile, seems to have an alliance of four, those being Jim, Whitney, Elyse. They bounce the idea back and forth over voting out Semhar for her inadequacy, Cochran for his lack of strength, or Dawn for her age. Ozzy votes to keep Semhar around, which puzzles Jim, who can’t figure why he would want that so early in the game. Jim reasons that Ozzy wants to use his charm and good looks to band together with the women, which is a valid point.
Ozzy knows that no matter his charisma or experience, he still only gets one vote, so he goes right up to Semhar and tells her she needs to campaign to save herself. So Semhar immediately goes to Whitney and Keith, both of whom assure her that she’s safe. Jim, meanwhile, goes to Cochran and tells him that Ozzy perceives him as being the weakest, which shocks Cochran. He calls it insulting, and I’m sure it would be for a fanboy to be the first one voted off. Papa Bear tells him not to worry. Well, someone should be worried…
Tribal Council. Jeff opens the Q&A by asking Dawn whether the tribe has thought about being the first sent to RedIsle, alone, and she replies that it’s hard not to think about that, though few talk about it because the first few days in the game tends to demand other priorities. She admits that the unfamiliar settings threw her for a loop at first, but that she’s okay now. Jeff asks Elyse who should be worried about being voted off, and she replies that Semhar should be, since she blew the challenge. Jim throws in that his competitive nature caused a bit of friction back at camp. Whitney adds that she would have like a shot at the coconut-tossing, but Semhar volunteered so forcefully that there was no further discussion. Oh, yeah, the bus is coming, and they are definitely throwing Semhar under it.
Semhar chimes in that she could have played it safe and simply not volunteered, but that’s not how she rolls. Jeff then asks Ozzy whether it’s better to play with someone who tries and fails or someone who doesn’t try, and Ozzy emphatically says the former. Jeff asks Dawn who else might be on the chopping block, and Dawn picks out poor, scrawny Cochran. Cochran defends himself by saying he flew through the obstacle course, but Papa Bear points out that he was indecisive in going over the wall and had to be hauled bodily over it by himself and Ozzy. Cochran then adds that Semhar really doesn’t do much around camp, and that has to factor into people’s decisions. He adds that the whole Survivor experience is a learning process, and he’s learning new stuff every hour. He concludes by saying that if he survives the vote, he vows to be the tribe’s go-to guy for whatever they need, which elicits a smirk from the buff, hunky Keith.
Voting time. One by one they write names down. Semhar votes for Cochran, spelling it with two O’s… which is funny and gross at the same time, if you think about it. Cochran obviously votes for Semhar, and that’s all we see. Jeff collects the urn, and out come the slips. “Coochran”. Semhar. Semhar. Semhar. Semhar. And… Semhar. Wow, after all that, it was unanimous. Semhar’s torch is snuffed, and off she goes to Redemption Island. Ozzy wistfully watches her go.
Next week: Cochran struggles to prove himself, and Brandon reveals his dubious heritage to Coach. Or does he?
