Gucci handbags, chunky earrings, Jimmy Choos, lots of banter about how stupid all their guys are…yep, that pretty much sums up tonight’s episode. Let’s take stock:
Mia moves into her spiffy new corner office, filled with designer swag, pretty flowers, and muffins from Howard Stern. We meet her acerbic boss, Clive, who turns big, bad Mia into a sniveling mess. A sniveling mess! He tells her to fire her gay-friend-assistant-used-to-be-mentor, but she can’t do it. Until he screws up later and she ends up firing him at a crowded party, to which he responds by calling her a bitch in front of everyone. Guess she made the right call there.
Zoe butts heads with a velour-clad room-mom type at her kids’ school. The mom hosts a construct-a-bear playdate, and Zoe’s kids give her the bear they made: a “working mommy bear,” complete with Bluetooth phone and a string-pull message that say, “I can’t talk now. I’m on a conference call.” The mom makes a play for Zoe’s hubby, then asks him to redesign her kitchen (he's an architect). Oh sure, no matter that she just put the moves on him big-time. Why, of COURSE he’d be happy to work at her house all day long every day. What a dope.
Caitlin – she’s the slutty member of the mafia – goes on a date with her new lesbian sort-of-lover, Alicia. But when an old (male) flame sees her, Caitlin denies her lesbianism, and Alicia runs off. Anyway, I think she and Alicia are cute as the dickens together, so there.
Juliet dons a slinky red dress and meets an old flame from business school, Bobby, for coffee. She tells him her hubby’s had multiple affairs and, basically, she’s just using him to get back at the hubby, yada, yada, yada. Bobby is more than happy to help out. This all happens after the girls meet for lunch and go over a spreadsheet with possible booty calls for Juliet. Yes, a spreadsheet. Did I really commit to recapping a whole season of this show? Oh wait, that probably won’t be a problem, because I can’t see it lasting a whole season.
The writers are trying to get us with quippy one-liners (“We don’t stay in the stable when we’re the show pony”), fancy clothes, and provocative storylines, but it’s just not working for me, which is really disappointing. The worst part? These women aren’t strong, independent females. They’re sniveling pansies who’ve got that deer-in-the-headlights look just like the rest of us! This is not what I signed on for! It’s like that stupid show Big Shots, only with women! Feh.
Is anyone but me still watching it?
