It’s mostly the same old nonsense this week in the kitchen, with no one capable of making beef Wellington and dinner service cancelled before dessert. The women triumph in the palate-testing challenge and the men are the ones down one this week, as Vinnie is sent home.
We start back in the inexcusably-swanky dorms this week, as Jen cries about her spaghetti foul-up (at least she had the presence of mind not to cry in front of Ramsay, no?) and Vinnie “Egg on My Shirt” actually gives her shit about it. Because clearly Jen needs to learn to take criticism, but Vinnie can get in Ramsay’s face whenever he looks at him wrong.
Bonnie, Queen of the Obvious, also sees it necessary to point out that they’re all exhausted and “We’re in hell!” I guess she doesn’t see the little “HELL’S KITCHEN” logo at the beginning of every commercial break.
For this week’s challenge the teams will have their palates tested with such exotic ingredients as American cheese, carrot, and fried chicken. Julia aces the American cheese and fried chicken-- present in about 60% of Waffle House dishes--but everyone else manages to foul up lobster, tuna, pear, and call everything radish. The women win the challenge in the end, much thanks to Bonnie, who also sees it necessary to say “I love putting things in my mouth.” 14-year olds across America are flipping out right now, let me tell you.
As their reward the women eat at a restaurant called Opaque, where they are plunged into absolute darkness that allows them to even more blatantly flirt with Ramsay-- uncomfortable, as always. The men are punished as usual by having to prep the evening’s meals, but a ‘Fear Factor’ element is thrown in when they have to “test their palates” by eating a bunch of gross food like tripe, pig tongue and cow’s stomach lining. Seriously, is that last one even a food? Despite the promos that suggested that Rock might lose his lunch, everyone makes it through in fairly manly style.
Dinnertime! Tonight the losing time will be chosen based on customer comment cards, which marks Ramsay letting go of a level of control that seems out of character. The level of mockery seems a little harsher than usual this week, as Ramsay mimics Melissa primping herself in a mirror and--!!--pushing up her boobs, and continuing to call poor Bonnie a dumb blonde. The announcer, in the meantime, has fun describing Vinnie and Bonnie’s struggles with the beef Wellington, at one point honestly making the transition “While Vinnie struggles with his meat, Bonnie tries to master her meat in the red kitchen.” Again, those 14-year olds must be the target audience for this show or something.
One of the customers, all empowered now because of those comment cards, strolls up to the kitchen to tell Ramsay her food’s no good. She, in turn, gets called a giraffe without even getting eye contact from the man; for once, I was glad to see Ramsay be a total jerk to someone who might not have actually deserved it. He continues the animal insults by calling the men donkeys, and generally harasses Bonnie, the self-appointed “nanny with a good palate.”
The girl is in tears by the end of dinner service, which is called off early again. 65% of the customers said in the comment cards that they wouldn’t return to the restaurant because the food was too slow, but most of them thought it ws good, which takes a little of the steam out of Ramsay’s constant “The fish is too salty!” shouting. Jen and Rock are chosen as the leaders of their teams, and each has to choose a person to eliminate. Good-hearted Jen labors over her decision while Rock announces that his was made before he even went into the kitchen, which really isn’t a leader kind of thing to do. Back in the kitchen Jen nominates Melissa and Rock nominates Josh.
But... they’re overruled! Ramsay easily sees through the bullshit and knows they’re both nominating their biggest competition, so he picks Bonnie and Vinnie for the chopping block. Both make flimsy excuses for screwing up their own versions of beef Wellington, but in the end it’s arrogant little Vinnie who heads home. Plus on his way out he says “there is no second chances in Hell’s Kitchen” when he really knows it’s “there ARE no second chances,” so with bad grammar like that, he’s a waste of space in the kitchen.
Next week: ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ does a wedding! The announcer asks in foreboding tones if the bride and groom have made the biggest mistake of their lives, and my answer is unquestionably yes. Gordon Ramsay will inevitably throw a tantrum and put a foot through your wedding cake, and that won’t be cute or funny, even in the pictures.
