With the Spody friendship on the rocks and Justin-Bobby’s refusal to put the girlfriend label on Audrina, The Hills’s drama hasn’t been this lowbrow since the Jason days. Yes, the Spody (ex)-friendship is inconsequential as a plot point when juxtaposed with the enormity of the Lauren-Heidi fallout, but Hills happenings haven’t been this interconnected since, well, ever. Spencer stopped answering Brody’s phone calls after he heard that Brody had been hanging out with banished Lauren. It was Heidi’s boss Brent who seemed to solidify the seriousness of the Lauren-Brody connection when he asked Heidi if Lauren and Brody had rekindled their relationship. (Thank you, Brent, for being the first person on this show to acknowledge Lauren’s celebrity status, even if it was unintentional.)
Brody lost major annoying points and gained some well-deserved appeal points when he called Spencer, who had just told him that the best friendship was over, a bitch. Spencer’s incredible ability to bring out the worst and best in anyone he has any type of relation with is, obviously, the Hills gift that keeps on giving. (No, contrary to popular belief, it is not Whitney’s infinitely complex faces. Did anyone else notice that chilling look she gave when Lauren told her she was almost named Tiffany or Crystal?)
Audrina’s trivially tragic date with Justin-Bobby shed needed insight into J-B’s anti-establishment core. J-B discussed his general disdain for societal labeling (especially when it comes to admitting the girl you’ve been seeing for two years is your girlfriend when there are others around to play with), using it to give Audrina a reason for not taking their relationship to an official level and to justify his apathy when it comes to Lauren and her opinions. The fact that Audrina’s few yet apparent Lauren-y qualities don’t mix well with J-B’s totally fabricated L.A.-beatnik aura is as blindingly clear as Audrina’s white teeth.
Lo and Lauren were puzzled as to why Audrina and J-B, after two years of on-and-off intimacy, hadn’t become a couple. Granted, it doesn’t take much to puzzle Lo, the ladies (whose friendship, by the way, is clearly the most compelling one on The Hills…petition to make Lo an official cast member, anyone?) were completely in the right to question Audrina’s unhealthy relationship.
Heidi and Jen raised the bar for future Hills mealtime conversation (even though neither of them took a bite of her breakfast) as they discussed the dissolution of their friendships with Lauren. Jen’s recollection of an earlier time (actually, the best time ever) when she, Heidi, and Lauren were constantly together was poignant, but not as poignant as her declaration that Heidi (who sketchily suggested that Brody was responsible for the Lauren rumors) does, in fact, still care about Lauren. As Heidi walked away into the heartless L.A. skyline, the camera panned to Brody, Spencer, Audrina, and Lauren in a moving montage that summed up the intricate interconnectedness of The Hills. It’s comforting to know that everything is inextricably linked to the Lauren-Heidi fallout, like we’re all somehow defined by this epic feud. How’s that for depth, J-B?
