There have been times when the rapport between Ben and Locke felt like some kind of mismatched buddy comedy. But nothing, nothing, compares to the Driving Miss Daisy remake we got this week, starring Locke as the cranky old white lady in the backseat and Matthew Abaddon, of all people, as the ever-patient, kindly black driver. Yeah, it surprised me that it turned out that way too. But we have a lot of explanation to get through first, so...
"We found a man in the water. He's wearing a suit."
We open with two of the presumed redshirts from Ajira Airlines Flight 316, the guy who was sitting near Hurley and the agent who was bringing Sayid to justice. Surprise! They've crashed on the island, discovered Dharma hatches, and already started lying to each other. Oh, and they've discovered Locke, who is acting all Christian Shephard by standing around, wearing a suit, and not giving very many answers. Yeah, he's back on the island, and he's alive! Apparently Lapidus and "some woman"-- Sun, right?-- took off in one of the outriggers, but Locke has stayed put. He's offered a mango by the agent woman, named Ilana, and in his typical Locke fashion, he's very grateful, and very forthcoming about what happened-- he remembers dying. Oh yeah?
"Your parents had a sense of humor when they named you."
When Locke turned the donkey wheel, he landed in Tunisia, like the polar bear and Ben before him. He's rescued by some security cameras that dispatch him and send some terrifying dudes to pick him up, bring him to a hospital and reset his leg in what looks like the most excruciatingly painful way. When he comes to, Charles Widmore is there, and reminds Locke that they met on an island a long, long time ago. He explains the origin of the beef between him and Ben-- Ben exiled him from the island when he took power over the Others, and Widmore now wants to get Locke back to the island so Locke can take his rightful place as leader. That's right-- Widmore is back to convincing us he's the good guy. His best argument? Uh, Ben has repeatedly tried to kill Locke, and Widmore hasn't. Widmore sets Locke on the wild goose chase of tracking down the Oceanic Six, gives him all the information he needs to find them, and assigns him a personal helper-- the always-creepy Matthew Abaddon.
"You may want to step up your game, Mr. Locke, or we're all in serious trouble."
Thus we come to the Driving Miss Daisy segment of the episode, in which Abaddon gives Locke as they fail to convince any of the Oceanic Six to come back to the island. First it's Sayid, who's being philanthropic and building houses in the Dominican Republic, after all those years of the assassin life. Hurley is convinced Locke is a ghost at first, and then totally freaked out by the notion of going back to the island. Kate accuses Locke of never having loved anyone, which really doesn't have anything to do with anything else, and Jack is his usually dick self, telling Locke he's not special and neither is anyone else. In the meantime Locke pays a courtesy visit to-- say it with me now-- WAAAAAAAAAALT, where Walt is looking even more giant and tells Locke he had dreams about him back on the island. Locke makes the executive decision not to make Walt come back, though, and there's no telling if the poor kid will ever have to make the return island journey. Oh, and Helen, the former love of Locke's life, is dead. Sad. Just before Locke can make it to Jack, poor Abaddon is shot, and Locke fails at a high-speed getaway. Who on earth could be trying to sabotage Locke?
"John, you have no idea how important you are."
Figuring Richard Alpert's warning is all he's got going on at this point, Locke decides to hang himself in his sad hotel room, writing that taunting note to Jack-- "I wish you had believed me"-- before climbing up on the table to do the deed. At the last second, naturally, there's a knock on the door-- and naturally, it's Ben. Ben wants to convince John that it's not all over, he can help him succeed, and Locke is too important not to make it back to the island. Finally Locke climbs down, and gives Ben some key information-- he promise Jin he wouldn't bring Sun back, oh, and there's this Eloise Hawking chick they need to find. As soon as Locke tells Ben everything he needs to know, Ben does the thing we pretty much expected of him, and strangles Locke anyway. After tampering with the crime scene to make it look like a suicide, Ben is outta there, telling Locke's corpse-- maybe even sincerely-- that he'll miss him.
"He's the man who killed me."
And we end the episode back on the island, with Locke giving pretty much all the information he has to help out these poor confused new castaways. This is the Dharma Initiative! I was here before, and I don't really know how I got back! Oh, you saw a flash of light during the plane crash, and then saw the fat curly-haired dude disappear? I bet I have an answer for that. Wait, can I take a look at that sick bay to make sure there are no stragglers left? And that's how Locke comes across the man who killed him, Ben Linus, and we get the promise of lots and lots of hell to pay.
So, once again, we get an episode that sums up what might have taken an entire season to reveal in earlier years. The line between good and evil and Ben and Widmore gets shakier every time we meet either of them, and I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever actually know which of them-- if either-- is actually the good guy. And next week we're promised a Sawyer and Kate reunion! Yeah Lost!
