OK, Lost, we get it that the first season was all about Jack, and his decision making, and the woman he loves, Kate. We were down with that. But it's season four now, and it's clear that the people making all the important choices on this island are Ben and Charles Widmore. So why do you continue giving us episodes trying to prove that Jack and Kate are True Love, and we should root for them? Why, oh why?!
Granted, for a Jack and Kate episode it wasn't a total waste-- we got a glimpse of the ever-mysterious Christian Shepherd, and a reminder of the “raised by another” story for Claire that seemed all but abandoned after Claire got relegated to a background character in, oh, season 2. Actually, we heard from pretty much every character except Locke and Ben-- even Rose got a line or two!-- so there's nothing to complain about there. But for those of us really trying to get down to the bottom of these dern island mysteries, watching Jack and Kate make out in their underwear feels like a waste of time. But let's get down to what was really important about this episode.
1. “If I'm not the same, then the question is, who in the world am I?” Great question, Jack. He's reading Alice in Wonderland to Aaron, so here we are in the future after Kate's mama courtroom drama and before Jack starts popping crazy pills and tries to jump off bridges. He and Kate are living in domestic bliss, except Jack keeps seeing strange visions of his dad-- sometimes accompanied by beeps from the smoke detector-- and, oh yeah, he's getting illegal prescriptions from his assistant. Jack proposes to Kate, but it's no good. Even before Kate eventually admits that's she's doing secret missions for Sawyer, who apparently chose to stay behind on the island, it seems clear there's trouble in paradise. But what a nice house! And Kate and Jack give Aaron a toy version of the Millennium Falcon, so they can't be all bad!
2. ”Do you want to lift your shirt up?” Meanwhile, on the island, Juliet is preparing to operate on Jack, who is so convinced he can save everyone that he ignores his appendicitis until it's almost too late. Jack wants to stay awake through surgery and give Juliet advice-- control freak much?-- and specifically asks for Kate to hold the mirror so he can see what's up with his abdomen. Given that we've already seen their future domesticity, we're supposed to be all “Aww, Jack loves Kate!" but I was more “Yo, Kate, what about the blond guy you conveniently left at Camp Crazytown? You know, Sawyer?” But I have a feeling we'll get to that later. After Jack is all sewn up and healed, Juliet admits to Kate that Jack kissed her, but she says “I'm pretty sure he was trying to prove something. That he doesn't love someone else.” So wait, all that Jack and Juliet drama has been a tease? For real? Actually, Juliet seems to be heading back to being her old awesome self, so let's keep her away from Jack and let her beat down some Freighties the way God intended.
3. “Do you think she knows he likes her?” “She's a woman. She knows.” Jin and Sun are sent to the medical hatch with Daniel and Charlotte to collect supplies for Jack, who we know will live all along and therefore his appendectomy lacks a little of the necessary drama. Anyway. Jin and Sun observe Daniel and Charlotte and have the above exchange, which is another of those cute Jin and Sun moments that break our hearts knowing that, at some point in the future, they will be separated. Also, hey, we have proof that Daniel has a crush on Charlotte! It's about time for a new on-island romance. But it turns out that, even while Jin and Sun chat in Korean, Charlotte can understand her, and Jin knows it. He demands that Charlotte take Sun and their unborn baby back on the helicopter, no matter what happens. Well, he threatens to break Dan's fingers if it doesn't happen. Those old gangster habits die hard!
4. “You're not supposed to raise him Jack.” Meanwhile, in the future, Hurley is back in the mental hospital, and occasionally calling Jack when things get too unstable. Hurley is convinced that no one is real, and the Oceanic Six are all actually dead. I would worry about this if it weren't such a major cop-out on the part of the writers. Anyway, Hurley says he's getting regular visits from Charlie, who wants to pass a message on to Jack-- he's not supposed to raise “him,” and most everyone would assume that means Aaron. You know, how the psychic told Claire that Aaron was not to be raised by another? Hurley also says that Jack will be visited by someone else, and while we don't get to see that visit really play out in this episode, we think the visitor has a few more destinations first...
5. “I'm the guy who's gonna put a boot in your face unless you say yeah, I get ya.” And finally, the unhappy camping party of Sawyer, Miles, Claire and Aaron (I guess we have to count Aaron now that he's part of the Oceanic Six) continues their journey through the jungle. They come across Danielle and Karl's bodies, and even though I was glad to see Miles' ghost whisperer abilities come back into play, I refuse to believe that Rousseau is dead. Refuse! Also, Sawyer has had enough of Miles' lip, and being waaay overprotective of Claire all of a sudden, establishes a 20 foot restraining order between the two. That turns out to backfire when, in the middle of the night, Christian Shepherd shows up cradling Aaron! Yeah! I guess he was bored visiting Jack in the future, so he came back to his other kid Claire! Claire apparently follows Christian (Jacob? Smoke Monster?) into the woods, since the next day Sawyer finds Aaron sitting in the jungle, all alone in a leaf. As Neighbor Scott pointed out, channeling Daniel Plainview, “Bastard in a bay leaf!” So when do we discover the ocean of oil under the island? Could Charles Widmore be Daniel Plainview? Will he invite Penny to the Peachtree Dance? OK, maybe I'm taking this a bit far.
In conclusion: What's up, Christian Shepherd? Why must you continue to bother us with your nonsense, Kate and Jack? When will your ghostly skills become useful, Miles? And Daniel and Charlotte, can you guys get into some serious flirting, like, now? Because with Charlie dead, and Nadia dead, and Jin maybe dead, and Sawyer and Kate and Jack beyond annoying, we need a Jim and Pam of the island, like, yesterday. Rose and Bernard will also suffice. Thanks!
