Say it with me now: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!” Aren't we all glad we can scream our favorite catchphrase in unison once again? Fortunately Michael came up with a few new phrases for his flashback episode tonight, and even better, actually started asking important questions. And he wasn't the only one! From New Otherton to the freighter, people were asking questions, and actually getting answers! I know, I know, it's a March Madness Miracle. Let's go over some of the questions that were asked, either by me or someone on the show, and the answers we got, or lack thereof. And yes, we'll eventually get around to the moment that had me shouting “No!” at the screen, but in usual Lost fashion, it happened in the last minute, so we'll save that for last.
Q: Who are the freighties here for?
A: Ben! And, as Hurley puts it, “We kind of knew that like forever ago.”
Q: What are they going to do once they have him?
A: “Once they have me their orders are to kill everyone else on the island.” Once again, something we've known pretty much since last season.
Q: Who is Ben's man on the boat?
A: “It's Michael!” Yes, that's something we've known for a while, but you've got to admire the way Ben just comes out and says it, and for once, it's actually the truth!
Q: Why is the boat's captain beating up anyone who tries to get off the boat?
A: “I'm beating them to save your lives! Remember what happened to Minkowski?” Why yes, yes we do, but we're starting to worry about this guy's anger issues.
Q: What is Michael doing on the boat?
A: “I'm here to die,” he tells Sayid.
Q: No, seriously, what is Michael doing on the boat?
A: Well, that's an answer that will take a while, and involves Mr. Friendly's gay boyfriend and a giant fruit platter. So stay tuned.
Q: What about Miles with that damn grenade in his mouth?
A: It's gone! He's alive and well, and ready to taunt anyone who asks him for anything.
Q: What about the huge chunk of change Miles asked Ben for?
A: Yes, thanks for asking, Sawyer, and for reminding Locke, “I thought there were no more secrets.” True, and there are no secret banks on the island, which Locke uses as an explanation for not worrying about the dollars. And Miles, as he usually does, laughs derisively. “Linus will find a way to get it. I'd say he's a guy who gets what he wants.” Truth!
What about all the Others at the Temple?
A: Still kickin'! Well, at least Ben assumes so, when he sends Danielle, Karl and Alex on the run to “the last safe place on the island.” Also they're not allowed to invite anyone else-- it's an A and B conversation, so C your way out, 815ers!
Q: “You should start form the beginning, and explain how you came to be on this boat.”
A: No that's not a question, but Sayid's a guy who demands answers instead of asking for them. And, unbelievably, Michael gives them—in the form of a flashback, so we have to assume it's the truth. But flashbacks, of course, have their own questions, so let's see 'em.
Where's Waaaaaaaaalt?
A: Living with his grandmother, under an assumed name, and not particularly wanting to talk to his dad. Turns out when your dad kills two women in cold blood, even when it's to get you back from the evil Others, you don't look up to him quite the way you did before. And also, when you've aged four years since your show began, it's not too convenient to have a scene with your dad, so we see Walt from a distance, gazing out the window at his dad.
Q: Why can't Michael kill himself?
A: Well, we all know Michael wasn't killed when he was hit by a car back in the day, so why would he try and kill himself by crashing his car? Who knows. He decides to go the cowboy way and buys himself a gun, but just before he's ready to pull the trigger in a dark alley, a figure shows up to interrupt him. Shall we say, a friendly figure...
Q: How the hell did Mr. Friendly/Tom get there?
A: It's pretty easy when you're an Other, it turns out. He's been sent to New York to track down Michael and tell him just why he can't be killed-- “The island won't let you. You've got more work to do, Mike.” No, he really said that! The island controls you even when you're in New York. Tom also reminds Michael that he's escaped one island for another—Manhattan-- which means that every time I'm in Brooklyn, I'll tell people “We have to go back! We have to go back to the island!”
Q: Wait, Tom is gay??
A: Yup! With a dude named Arturo. This has nothing to do with anything, but seeing Tom all posh and European-kissing a guy in a hotel suite is hilarious.
Q: Is Widmore actually the bad guy?
A: Well, at least Tom thinks so. He echoes Ben's claim that Widmore wants to kill everyone on the island, and that the freighter, which he's in charge of, is a threat to every single person on the island, including the 815ers.
Q: Who faked the 815 plane crash at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Widmore! And Tom has all the proof, in the form of a bunch of paperwork. It convinces Michael, at least, who's just seen the news reports about the 815 wreckage and is just a wee bit confused.
Q: Seriously this time, why is Michael on the boat?
A: Well, it's all about redemption. Michael is still haunted by what he did on the island, and is literally haunted by Libby-- hey Libby, good to see you! So Tom convinces him that the only way to redeem himself to Walt is to save everyone on the island-- by killing everyone on the freighter. Yeah, as far as the Others are concerned, killing is pretty much the only way anything gets done around here.
Q: Why did we see so little of Fisher Stevens as Minkowski?
A: Because we get to see him in Michael's flashback! With Naomi, and Miles too! It's like a family reunion on that freighter.
Q: Who ruined the engines on the freighter
A: Michael.
Q: Who destroyed the radio room?
A: Michael, duh.
Q: Can Sayid make a mistake?
A: Looks like it! In what may be his only lapse of judgment ever, Sayid ignores the warning not to trust the captain and turns Michael in, explaining his true identity and his sabotage. The captain, who is seeming pretty evil at this point, looks concerned. I'm concerned too.
Q: The ABC promos said that in this episode, “SOMEONE WILL DIE.” For God's sake, who is it?
A: Short answer: Karl. He, Alex and Rousseau are ambushed on the way to Temple. Long answer: OH MY GOD ROUSSEAU NOOOOOO! Honestly, Lost writers, you have a badass woman who doesn't rely on any man and is just getting a chance to reconnect with her awesome daughter, and you kill her? This had better be a Locke-shot-in-the-back situation, or else... well, alright, I'll still watch the show.
Q: Who ambushed Rousseau, Alex and Karl?
A: No clue. Seriously. Even with all the answers in this episode, I'm still puzzled.
